


The Overlooked

by Crimsun



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Abilities, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Angst, Bonds, Jaeyong and Markhyuckhei focus, M/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-03-04 06:03:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 73,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13358070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crimsun/pseuds/Crimsun
Summary: This is the story of eighteen, narrated by two, loved by few, hated by many, hunted by all.





	1. Prologue : Mayhem in his mind

**Author's Note:**

> Hello world,
> 
> I'm gonna give a fair warning here. This is NOT going to be a one ship focus fic aka it's not gonna be just Jaeyong. Look out for two other major focus ships! If you have trouble grasping concepts, the comment section is your best friend, and I'll get back to you asap!! Also, English is not my first language so proceed at your own risk.  
> Major love and lots of cuddles to my lovely and amazing supporter aka the most enthusiastic reader and fellow Donghyuck stan aka my favorite sunflower, Bhea for being there as I built this world half on my notebook and half in our Holy Chatbox™, I love you so much, sunshine! Shoutouts to Em and Kia for their support.
> 
> Happy reading, y'all!!

There’s a black-haired man standing underneath a lamp across the street. It seems as if the traffic lights offend him somehow by how intensely he’s staring at the red sign that declares the situation unfit for him to cross the road. There’s something hidden beneath the almost vengeful look he’s giving the lights, and if it were a living thing, this is the moment where it takes off for the hills screaming bloody murder.

Perhaps, he has to reach somewhere soon. He looks worn down; exhaustion seeping off him in lazy but prominent waves and as the sign turns green, he dashes forward, his long legs making their way across the street. His jet-black hair bounces slightly with the force of his steps and the uncharacteristically strong wind threatens to blow the strands to the back but there is something in the air that finds resistance as it prods against the strength the man exudes with subtlety; a current twisting in the opposite direction but going unnoticed.

That’s how storms form, he knows.

It is a particularly cold night and when he breathes, the hot air creates a foggy smoke in front of him as it meets its chilled counterpart. 

He knows he looks like he’s running.

Both from someone and to someone.

He takes his hands out of the home of heat that his jacket’s pockets had ad hoc become and stops in his tracks to put them down his black wash jeans. A sleek, silver phone reflects the green lights of the apartment complex opposite the path he is walking.

Miraculously, the phone lights up then. It’s as if he already knew that there was a message on the way, seconds before it was even composed. 

Jaehyun opens the message and his eyes light up for a fraction of a moment, completely ignored by the rest of the world. 

**06200006**

**12:16 AM**

**Doyoung hyung had to leave urgently. I made dinner. Come home, hyung.**

The happiness instantly turns to panic. His hands scramble to hit the call adjacent to the bunny-faced man’s name. His hands fiddle with his coat, his feet impatiently tapping on the concrete sidewalk, all the composure from before long gone, as he waits for Doyoung to pick up. 

Danger lurks in every moment in time and he is scared, has always been. 

“Hyung, I told you not to leave Donghyuck alone!” 

Jaehyun doesn’t waste time on pleasantries. There was a time when he used to. That time had drowned, sinking and disappearing into the depths of the polluted ocean.

The ocean bed has pearls, his seven-year-old self whispers. He wants to explore. 

His present self asks if those pearls formed from the blood and bones of thousands like him turning to sediments, bleached by nature, and obliterated by their fates to become mantle pieces to a sick utopia that didn’t care anymore. It makes complete and grotesque sense in his head.

“I’m sorry, Jae. Taeil hyung is stuck in Gangnam. I have to go get him. You know how dangerous it is, especially at this time of the night.” 

Doyoung’s soft voice is apologetic, airy with fear and Jaehyun understands. He does. He understands having to stay on guard all the time. He has been doing this for so long that he can’t even remember a time when he hasn’t. But he also wants to keep Donghyuck safe. It’s what he has been doing for the past few years. He can’t handle losing him. He has promises to keep. 

“I... I know. They’ve been tailing us for so long, hyung. It’s time for another move. Just... where is Johnny hyung?” 

Jaehyun hears the sharp breath Doyoung takes at the mention of moving even as the horns blare in the background. He’s driving, Jaehyun thinks. Doyoung didn’t leave Donghyuck alone because he wanted to but he left him because Taeil was at a riskier place, and Jaehyun gets it. He also wants to rub Taeil’s head against the pavement for thinking there was a lead in the squalid area where demons(humans) lurk, hungry for power and blood-thirsty because everyone, _everyone_ knows how difficult it is to get in. 

And out. 

He is worried too. Taeil had left in the early hours of the morning. 

But Donghyuck... Donghyuck will always be the first priority for him. No matter what. If he sounds like an asshole for thinking that way, he is.

“Johnny hyung is on his way. He’ll go to your apartment first. Don’t worry about Donghyuck. I activated the security when I left. I’m sorry, Jae. I really am but I...” 

Jaehyun cuts him off because he knows Doyoung like the back of his hand. So he knows that the man would never have left the youngest boy alone if he didn’t genuinely feel the danger in his gut, the apprehension elevating like rockets sent to the sky. Another building seemingly whizzes past and blurs into a corner of his mind meant to keep the unnecessary details of his everyday treks. He’s walking but it feels like he’s running. 

 _Keep running_ , a voice whispers. 

 _It’s in your head, Jaehyun_. He tells himself. 

But that cadence, that tone, it’s much too different to be his. It’s someone he knows. Someone he loves. It’s the last words he ever heard from him. 

 _I will,_ he reassures. 

He doesn’t know if he’s projecting from the memory or if the other person is actually listening to him.

He can’t, remember Jaehyun?

He’s always running. He can’t afford to stop. He doesn’t have the privilege to. 

Not now. Not ever. 

 _Faster, Jaehyun_. He hears. 

His strides are long as he speaks the next words. 

“I’m on my way too, hyung. I just panicked. I fucking hate leaving him alone.” 

Jaehyun assumes that the other is nodding along. There’s a small sniffle and he realizes that Doyoung is crying. He can hear him gasping for breath and it dawns on him that he’s been doing that ever since he picked up the phone. He wonders when his life got so complicated, when his instincts started to focus more on the things being said and learned to ignore the quivering voices and panicked gasps of the people he cared for, the very same people who have been by his side in this fucked up game of cat and mouse his life had become.

It’s fine, he tells himself. At least you noticed now, he thinks. But it isn’t. He makes sure his voice is stable when he utters the next words. He hopes he eases Doyoung’s fear even if for a second. He means what he says next. 

“If you don’t return in an hour, I’m coming for you. Keep the GPS on.” 

His phone protests against how tightly it is held in his hands. Jaehyun doesn’t care. 

Third one in two months, his wallet cries. His hold loosens. 

Johnny will get to Doyoung faster than Jaehyun can ever imagine and he knows he’ll be fine but somewhere in the caverns behind the shut doors of his frozen heart, doubts start to creep and he shakes his head. What if... He forcedly clamps down the urge to complete the question which is sure to leave him feeling empty and walks faster. His legs protest against being given additional work. 

Fingers crossed, he tells himself. They’ll be fine. They have to be. That’s just how things are now. 

He hangs up.

 

***

 

Jaehyun drives much like a man who is running from someone would but this time, he isn’t focused on the “from” part. There’s a boy waiting for him in the comfortable and warm insides of a rundown and fin de siècle apartment that they had been calling home for the past three months. He needs to get to him and see him in the flesh. He needs, with an urge that burns like the embers that swallowed their previous abode, with the wishes of filling an emptiness that has been rooted in him ever since the day they began running. 

The three month anniversary of the apartment is fast approaching but it’s still days away. It’s just a slightly complicated sum of hours but every minute counts in this world where people’s lives shifted at the blink of an eye and it is so cliché of him to say so but he cares and at the same time he doesn’t. 

It’s even, he thinks. Conventional words for an unconventional world.

Nothing in it is special. Unless you considered fear in every pore and survival the sole instinct as special. Then, Jaehyun would have to find you and have a serious talk with you. Fortunately or unfortunately, he doesn’t have time to address the uneventful and grim thoughts of those folks. Also, as far as he knew, he never signed up to be a correction officer. 

He abandons that train of thought at the mountain of angst it invokes. He has to focus. 

His seven-year-old-self who couldn’t sleep properly for weeks after his goldfish died waves at him. His present-self with the ring dagger kept snug inside the sock of his left leg and the Austrian black metal blends, his new and old Glock 19s, hidden under the sock of his right leg and his back pocket, turns away. Merciless, unrelenting. 

No distractions, he mutters to himself in the shady confines of his poor and questionable choice of transportation. His ears ring with the cackle that Ten gave him as a reaction the first time he ever laid eyes on the hideous and ghastly blend of crappy metal. 

It had a working engine and proper seats. That’s all that mattered. 

They didn’t need flashy stuff, anyway. It would be abandoned or destroyed. It was a gruesome ritual of give and take. 

Flashy meant attention. _Unwanted_ attention. 

Jaehyun sighs frustratedly at the way the gear refuses to give under his calloused hands as he attempts to shift from the fourth to the fifth. A new car is going to be on the top of the to-do list for the week. He just wants to get home fast, and he jerks the gear stick in hopes that he wouldn’t pull the thing off. It works and the old piece of metal revs in protest against the torture. 

He checks his phone again to see if Johnny has sent a message and is thoroughly disappointed at the screen, empty save for the time being displayed against the picture of Busan’s waves taken in the dark hours of the night. It is plain and irrelevant and no one would notice the two tiny silhouettes standing to the side unless they really knew what to look for. Even then, it wouldn’t make much of a difference.

He’s the one who took the picture and the moment has a home in his heart forever. 

The people too.

Donghyuck had had red hair then. You can’t see it in the picture; the silhouettes are the size of two dots. 

Jaehyun wishes that he never had to ask him to dye it black. Survival Jaehyun, he finds himself thinking. You did it to protect him. 

Actually, he didn’t do it. He was supposed to. Despite Donghyuck’s reassurances, he hadn’t been able to stop his hands from quivering as he held the cheap black hair dye from the convenience store in his tight grip. Jaehyun, always weak under the onslaught of emotions. The youngest had softly gripped his hands and smiled warmly at him, coaxing the dye out of his hands. 

Doyoung and Ten had arrived about an hour later, and Jaehyun had refused to get up to welcome the duo, knowing that they were called in to help the younger with the dye. He had pretended not to notice their arrival. Doyoung had let out a huff at seeing him.

When the mop of black hair atop Donghyuck’s head came to view, Jaehyun had nodded curtly at them, grabbing the packet of cigarettes from their sad excuse for a coffee table, walking out with a slam of the front door. 

His sole intention was to get away then. Like he hadn’t been doing that since forever. His talent in that field qualified him for an honorary doctorate, honestly. 

The phone pings with a notification as soon as he throws it carelessly on the passenger seat. He keeps his eyes straight on the road as he gropes the seat to make sure there aren’t any vehicles with the potential to be hit by him in the few seconds it would take him to read the text. 

**J.Seo**

**12:36**

**I’m here. He’s safe.**  

Jaehyun declares the text the highlight of his day but doesn’t slow down. Johnny being there is reassuring but the strong urge to get to Donghyuck as fast as he could finds no visible lull, no solace, in the text. 

Also, he knows that Johnny is worried about Doyoung. Maybe, it’s that, his head rationalizes his formless trepidation. The man would want to run the moment he feels anything even remotely off. It’s instinct, not that Johnny would abandon Donghyuck like that ever. 

Jaehyun has no right to ask him to stay and take care of Donghyuck and he realizes that. He has vowed to never do it. He simply allows himself the momentary luxury of a calming breath and presses his foot down harder on the accelerator in hopes of getting to the apartment sooner. 

He pulls the car into the impromptu parking lot behind the apartment complex with an expert turn of the steering wheel and as he slams the stiff brakes, he realizes for the millionth time that the brake isn’t really working all that well. He nearly slams into the lamppost casting a yellowish hue in the parking space. He is just glad that he didn’t die on his way back. 

He gets out of the car and walks away from it before remembering the small bag of sweets he got for Donghyuck. He treks back in a hurry, grabbing the packet none so softly, slamming the door closed with his free hand, not bothering to lock it. Only he and Johnny parked here anyway. The other man’s Kia is beaten down(intentionally so) and the heat from the backlight nearly scalds his hand as he involuntarily brushes against it while walking past the black beast.

He thanks the creator for the day for being one of the rare ones when the elevator worked. He would take a brakeless car in exchange for working elevator days any day of the year. Not that Jaehyun wouldn’t climb seven, seven hundred, seven thousand flights of stairs if it meant keeping the boy upstairs safe. One would be surprised at the kind of things Jaehyun is willing to do for Donghyuck without even blinking once.

 _No conscience when it comes to Donghyuck, Jaehyun_. He is the priority. 

More than all that, he is all you have. 

For now. 

Maybe, for forever.

It should scare him; the way he has twisted the spirit and passions of his entire life and reduced it to this one epicentre, this one petite boy with the warm, sparkling eyes and the bright smile, all uncharacteristic features for this world they were living in yet capable of lighting up his frozen heart nonetheless. 

But you’ve always loved fire more than the light, Jaehyun. His head provides. 

He swallows down memories of a bond that had burned his skin and warmed him to the core. 

The elevator shakes a bit as he gets in but Jaehyun isn’t too worried. He’s used to it. His palms turn clammy as the number seven flashes on the digital screen with the number of damaged LEDs far outweighing the ones that aren’t. 

He skilfully keeps his gaze from straying to the drops of crimson liquid on the tiled floor of the small space. The button eight is slightly bloodstained. He turns his head to the blackish walls of the elevator, and there are two clear, bloody handprints on it. 

He is used to this too. It’s a daily occurrence after all but he doesn’t want to freak Doyoung out any more than he is already when he returns. The man gets paranoid (he has his reasons), and he doesn’t want him to picture them dying in the short and noisy elevator ride he would take with Taeil. 

Are you certain that they’ll return, Jaehyun? The ugliest part of him says wickedly.

He takes out his handkerchief and grimaces at the patches of dried-up brown blood that had soaked it from a week ago. He wipes the wall and the button eight for good measure but stops himself from shoving the soft piece of cloth into the inner pockets of his jacket.

It’s probably unsanitary as hell.

Jaehyun has seen hell, all the different ones. All of them have. After all, they live in one. 

Jaehyun throws the handkerchief into the bin placed adjacent to the elevator door and quickly strides over to his apartment. He knocks with his left hand, two carefully measured taps against the door. 

Johnny will hear, he knows. 

He is pleasantly surprised when Donghyuck nearly rips the door off its hinges as he opens it, smiling with relief and eyes clouded with an attempt to hide his worry. Jaehyun’s heart thuds in his chest. 

Relief. That’s what he feels. He is so damn relieved. He is also not going to ever get used to this feeling that fills him when he returns home to this boy who means too much. He closes the door with a flick of his unoccupied hand as he steps into the apartment. 

Jaehyun’s eyes rake up and down the other’s small frame and he feels disoriented but then Donghyuck pulls him softly into a hug, and Jaehyun loses grip on the bag of sweets which hits the floor with a muted thud. He wraps his arms around the warm body and feels, he _feels_ him breathing. 

Steady and slow; like he has all the time in the world. 

Oh Donghyuck, you don’t, we don’t. A part of him wants to say. 

He flicks the lighter on and burns that thought. 

Suddenly, all the chaos, the pent-up fear, the directionless sensation inside Jaehyun leaves him. He knows they’ll return but he basks in the glory of this moment void of those terrible fumes. He takes a shuddering breath, trying to align his shaky ones with the steady and small puffs of air against his neck. 

The younger boy rubs circles on his back and it reminds him so much of someone else, only his fingers were thinner, his motions more experienced. Jaehyun is certain that Donghyuck had learnt it from him. 

He lets go after a few moments too long. Donghyuck looks straight at him and then at the bag of sweets on the floor, quirking an eyebrow sassily. Jaehyun simply snorts and nods in response. The answering wave of happiness in the iris of the younger boy as he bends and takes it, smiling as he makes his way towards the dining table, makes the effort worthwhile. 

Jaehyun shifts to the side and toes away his shoes, turning to see Johnny stretching out on the dingy recliner, his phone attached to his ear as he mumble-talked to someone. If it was a good day, the other would have gone to town teasing him about his protective tendencies but today is not one of those days. 

The elder solemnly mouths “Ten” at him at the question clear on his face as he settles down in the recliner opposite the one already occupied. People who don’t know the other man would imagine that Johnny looked calm and perfectly fine but Jaehyun knows better. He knows that the way the elder man keeps pushing his long hair back means he is worried about the person on the other side. The way his gaze keeps checking his other phone kept on the coffee table to see if the red dot on the map displayed on the screen is stable means that he is worried about someone else too.

Two people Jaehyun knows mean much more to Johnny than to anyone else. 

“You’re lying.” 

Johnny finally says out loud, his voice strained. There’s no response from the other side. Jaehyun’s heart paces again.

“Ten, you’re in Gangnam. Why are you there?” 

Johnny is calm but Jaehyun sees the cracks in his facade. The elder blinks fast and clenches his teeth. Jaehyun’s fear spreads like wildfire in his sternum. One day, he’ll burn. 

Fire. That’s all there is. 

“That’s my job, asshole.” Johnny grits out. 

He shifts in his seat in frustration. 

Johnny looks puzzled at him as he listens more to what Ten is saying. He sighs and gets up, taking a few steps to Jaehyun. 

“He wants to talk to you,” Johnny says. 

Jaehyun nods, receiving the proffered piece of metal, plastic and glass. Donghyuck settles down on the sofa and pulls Johnny down, the man going pliant under the younger’s insistence. 

“Hyung, it’s Jae.”

The other man is short of breath. He is eerily reminded of the phone call with Doyoung. 

“I’m in Gangnam. Yes, I get it, I’m an idiot and a complete asshole for not telling you guys before I left but I heard that Blue Wraith is here. He recognizes Johnny. I know that the fatass wants to come help Doyoungie and Taeil hyung out but if he comes here, Blue Wraith will know. We can’t have that. Will you make him stay there? Tie him up if that’s what it takes. There are ropes under Hyuck’s bed.” 

There are a hundred questions in Jaehyun’s head but for a second, the human mind listens to instincts and asks him the high priority question, why does he know of the ropes under Hyuck’s bed? Then his head registers what Ten’s plan is and his eyes go wide. 

“But hyung, Gangnam is... Just hold on, we’re co...” He is not given the privilege to complete his words. 

“Jaehyun, I swear to God if you let him come here with his stupid wreck of a car and your old ass, trash-on-four-wheels because you guys wanna play hero, I will castrate you.” He yells, the Thai-tinted Korean coming out more pointed than intended. “We’ll be back soon. I promise.” Ten finishes. His voice turns completely serious, almost as if he is begging as he says the next word. “Please.” 

“Okay, okay.” He breathes in response. “Half an hour more and if I don’t get a call till then, we’re coming.” 

“I always knew you were a good egg. Bring the entire fucking Spanish armada if one of us doesn’t call you in a few minutes. Also, I think you’ll know if something is wrong, you know?” 

Jaehyun does and he looks directly at Johnny as he affirms the fact, the line dropping abruptly. Donghyuck’s fingers entwine with Johnny’s, and Jaehyun feels a smile come on at the younger’s consideration but he doesn’t smile. 

Too much happiness, you know what they say, Jaehyun. What if tomorrow brings danger, or worse, death because you used up your luck quota for the week? 

He pulls at the edges of his lips with bloodied hands and asks them not to curve up. They listen. 

“Doyoung hyung will be fine, hyung.” Jaehyun tries to placate the man. 

Johnny laughs but there’s something weird in it. It reverberates through him and Jaehyun shivers, the hair on his nape standing up. The elder is still holding on to Donghyuck’s hand, both their hands intimidatingly white with how tight the grip is.

He looks straight at him. 

“No, he won’t.” 

Jaehyun wants to flip the table over and yell at the elder. He knows that his hands are capable of destruction of the worst kind. He isn’t scared. Donghyuck wildly gazes back and forth between the duo. 

“What the fuck are you saying?” 

Johnny smiles and it looks borderline insane. Jaehyun has always been scared of this side of Johnny. Unpredictable, unpleasant. His bloodshot eyes are wet, but the elder will never let the tears fall. 

The only people who get to see him break down are Doyoung and Ten. 

“I can feel it. Something is wrong.” 

Jaehyun knows this feeling that Johnny is talking about. He isn’t privy to it anymore. He doesn’t feel another heart syncing up with his anymore. He doesn’t feel another’s fear or happiness anymore. 

That was the price he paid for running. 

“Hyung, we’ll go get them then. I’ll come...” 

Johnny looks at him again and this time the smile is calm. It amazes him how easily the other shifts his demeanour. The elder man looks at Donghyuck and shakes his head to reassure the boy. 

“They’ll come home. Ten promised.”

Maybe they just won’t be at a hundred percent. 

Johnny doesn’t say it, choosing to look for a moment too long at Jaehyun, hoping that he gets what he is trying to not give voice. 

Donghyuck makes a tiny voice at the back of his throat as he leans against Johnny and the elder man smiles sincerely as he lifts his hand to accommodate the welcome warmth. It’s the younger’s way of trying to calm the other down. They’ve all been on the receiving end of his affection. 

The breeze blows into the room in broken, non-rhythmic flutters. Jaehyun doesn’t even move to remove his coat. He doesn’t want to break this motionless tranquillity that has befallen them. 

When Johnny shifts a little, Jaehyun notices his bruised knuckles, littered with scrapes. There is a noticeable cut on his forehead as well. He squints at the deep brown turtleneck underneath the other’s black coat and sure enough, the rate at which he is paling is equally proportionate to the growing wet patch on his torso.

It seems that Donghyuck feels it too because he lifts his head from where it is tucked underneath the elder’s neck and gingerly feels around the wet patch. He sends a betrayed look to Johnny and gets up as if struck by lightning. 

 _"Johnny Seo, you absolute dickhead."_ He signs and Jaehyun snorts. 

The younger man’s gaze turns fierce in the blink of an eye and Jaehyun sees the worry so clearly through the anger. 

Johnny waves it away but Donghyuck smacks his head and marches to the kitchen, returning with their huge first-aid box. Johnny whines loudly, rubbing the back of his head with his bruised hand.

“Say sorry, you brat!”

Johnny says, exasperated and in pain. Jaehyun snickers, enjoying the other’s condition. He had offered to go along with him after all. 

 _”You wish.”_  

Donghyuck isn’t amused when he signs it. 

He tugs at Johnny’s thick coat and lets out a breath in annoyance.

 _”Off.“_  

Johnny looks at Jaehyun but takes his coat off and when he grunts, Donghyuck makes another noise and it is frustration, Jaehyun knows. He’s been given the same look so many times before and he shrugs at the elder man who groans in response, hesitant to let the younger man see his wound no matter the countless times he has stitched them back together. 

He has seen worse, Jaehyun thinks. The look Johnny gives him is a nod in the same direction. Jaehyun understands his hesitation.

It never gets easy to let the fragile and pure-hearted boy see the cruelty of the world. But the truth is that he has already seen too much and no matter how much they try to shield him, they know where this is going. 

Donghyuck, regardless of his exasperation with the taller man, helps the other take his coat and turtleneck off with gentle hands and extreme care anyway. He’s never been capable of staying angry or annoyed at any of them for long.

The next few minutes entail Donghyuck cleaning the obvious knife wound with his surprisingly steady hand, his eyes going extra wide or squinting according to necessity and holding the much bigger man down with a palm placed flat on the top of his chest when he struggles or grits his teeth in pain. Even if he hadn’t stitched the wound back up, Johnny would have healed, much slower of course, but the thought counts a lot and the elder man smiles in gratitude.

Jaehyun gets up and goes to his room as Donghyuck wipes at the other man’s hands with antiseptic. He returns with a t-shirt that Johnny left behind the past weekend, throwing it at the wounded man as he settles down on the couch again. 

It’s not Johnny who glares at him but Donghyuck. His hand is on his hip and Jaehyun mouths an apology at him. His gaze softens. 

A few minutes later, Johnny who had fallen into a minute or so long nap jumps out of his seat and if it wasn’t for Donghyuck getting up and stopping him with his body, then the other would have landed on the floor and ripped his stitches.

“Jae... Doyoung!! OH GOD! DOYOUNG!” 

He chokes out, clutching at his chest, his eyes squeezed shut and Donghyuck smooths down his hair, tears falling from his eyes without his own volition.

Jaehyun knows what’s happening and even through the incoherent curses that the elder man mutters, he gets up and dials Ten’s number.

The Thai man doesn’t pick up and Jaehyun is so ready to run downstairs and race away to the bloody streets of Gangnam. He makes a frustrated noise but he also notices Johnny calming down, getting up on shaky legs with the help of Donghyuck. 

It’s when their eyes meet that Ten picks up.

“He’ll be fine... He got stabbed. We found Taeil hyung. We’re coming there.” 

Jaehyun is about to inform Johnny of the details but then Ten breathes in and out and he pauses. 

“All clear, Jae. There were kids. Fuck! They were just...”

_All clear._

Not a single person survived except them, that’s what Ten means. The Thai man has always hated killing kids and he understands why the other is shaken up. 

“Hyung, just get home. Focus. No distractions, remember?” 

There’s just the sound of breathing and Jaehyun assumes that the other is nodding. He hangs up with a solid affirmation, voice suddenly stable. 

“It’s a stab wound. He’ll be fine.”

Johnny collapses with an audible, relieved sigh against the couch as he hears Jaehyun say it. Donghyuck wipes his cheeks to rid himself of the moisture and relaxes. 

 _"Sync."_  

Johnny smiles at Donghyuck as he signs it. 

“Terrible one.” 

Johnny says.

Donghyuck nods. 

_"I’ll heat up dinner. We’ll eat when they get back."_

The younger’s hands fly through the motions and Jaehyun sends a small smile his way. He walks to the kitchen and then the comforting and tell-tale sounds of utensils and plates being moved around fill the room as the younger sets the table and puts food in the microwave. 

Johnny is looking at the ceiling with his one hand resting on top of where his heart is when Jaehyun steps down from his thought arena. 

“Does it hurt?” 

Johnny shakes his head. 

“I think he’s blocking the pain from me. That idiot.” 

Jaehyun is once again reminded of how much of a kind soul Doyoung is despite all the sass and teasing that he indulges in regularly, well backed by a certain short Thai man. He doesn’t know how Johnny handles the both of them but he would never wish anyone else for him. 

They’re both perfect for him. He thinks fondly. 

It reminds him of something he doesn’t have any more, lost in some realm miles away and he is not sure if tracing the footsteps he has left behind will help him find the one he was forced to leave. His body aches and it feels like it is screaming a particular name but he forces himself to concentrate on the way the hands of the clock are ticking away carelessly.

It isn’t easy.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case you guys missed it, Donghyuck is deaf and mute in this fic. It's an important part of the plot. So I just wanted to put it out there.


	2. Certain bonds, the world responds

“They’re here.” 

Johnny breathes out rushing to the door, Jaehyun and Donghyuck scrambling up and following him. They’re running down the steps when Ten calls again. 

“Can you guys come down?” 

Jaehyun doesn’t get time to let the elder man know of Ten’s request because Johnny breaks out into a full sprint down the stairs. Jaehyun finds himself worrying about the other’s newly stitched wound but he knows what the priority is. He knows that Doyoung and Ten are the only things the elder man is feeling right now. 

Everything else is a hundred, thousand shades of painful black, blurring grey and everything dark. He knows that feeling. 

When they finally catch up with Johnny, the other man is patting Doyoung softly on his cheeks. Ten and Taeil, both bruised and beaten stand near the car, giving the pair a moment. 

“Hey, baby.” 

Jaehyun hears Johnny’s voice mumble. It is soft, almost airy but it’s so full of love. The way Doyoung opens his eyes and lets the corners of his lips curve up even in the state he is in is almost magical. It is almost enough to keep Jaehyun holding onto hope of getting back something that he lost. 

Almost. 

“Hey.” 

Doyoung whispers back and Jaehyun’s heart squeezes in his chest. His lips are blood-stained and Jaehyun wonders how the other is blocking his pain from Johnny. He was never capable of doing it himself. 

It is Donghyuck who claps his hands together and brings them back to reality. 

 _“We have to patch him up.”_  

He gestures with his hand and Johnny turns, nodding and whispering something in Doyoung’s ear, close. So impossibly close that no one else hears what he says, not even a single syllable. 

But when Jaehyun steals a glance at Ten, the petite man smiles. Content. 

He figures it’s one among _their_ million _things_. 

Seeing the long-haired man carry his boyfriend in his arms is a whole different story. Jaehyun has seen Johnny carry a fair share of people; all injured, broken and bent in one way or the other. The way they work and what they do demands it but nothing compares to the way he cradles Doyoung against his chest despite the wound on his torso. 

I’ll help, he wants to say. You’re hurt, he wants to say.

But he doesn’t. 

Not after seeing the way Johnny leans down and kisses his boyfriend’s hair and walks fast but not rushing so as to disturb the man in his arms. Not with the way Johnny’s face tells him that there’s nothing else he prefers doing now than being by Doyoung’s side. There’s nothing that Jaehyun could possibly offer the elder in exchange for the half-conscious man. 

Ten and Taeil look exhausted but Jaehyun knows that they are more mentally so than physically. He watches as Donghyuck assesses the other two with his wide eyes, gesturing at Taeil to stop. The man seems forlorn and lost. Jaehyun sees that a long talk awaits them once they reach upstairs. He holds in the urge to go off on the man for his reckless actions. 

There must have been a pretty solid reason. Reckless and careless are the last things Taeil is. 

Taeil smiles softly at Donghyuck when he prods at the cut on his eyebrow. It must sting. 

 _“Don’t give me that smile, old man.”_ Donghyuck is quick to shut the elder down. 

Jaehyun pats the youngest on his shoulder, a simple “Later” conveyed through the gesture. 

He doesn’t fail to notice the way Taeil’s smile fades away as soon as Donghyuck follows Johnny. Jaehyun doesn’t think this is the right time to have a talk with the elder man so he simply nods at him. 

“Jae...” 

Ten calls out to him as he watches Taeil walk away. 

He hums in response. 

“He probably did it for a solid reason, okay? Don’t go off on him.” 

Jaehyun doesn’t respond to that. He was always incapable of making fake promises even if it meant well in the grand scheme of things. Instead, he hunches in front of him. The limp that the man was trying so hard to hide stuck out like a sore thumb even in the haze that his mind was experiencing. 

Ten hesitates as he winds his arms around his neck. 

“Hyung.” Jaehyun pleads. 

The shorter man mutters an affirmation and jumps on his back, but not without some help from Jaehyun. 

When they get into the elevator, his mind can’t help but think of how they all look wrecked, fucked over by fate but somehow still strong. He stares at the clean button eight with pride. 

Little things, Jaehyun. His mind provides. 

 

***

 

The youngest rushes into his room as soon as Johnny lays Doyoung softly down on the mattress. Donghyuck is a little shaken up at the way the man is unresponsive as he cuts the t-shirt he is wearing. Jaehyun swears on his life that said article of clothing is Johnny’s by the way its sleeves look longer and shoulders, droopier. 

He notices the way Donghyuck keeps dabbing at his forehead with the back of his hand as he rubs at the blood with a cotton ball but he doesn’t know how to phrase things the right way. He has always tried to be the strong one and somewhere along, he had failed at being the one who could comfort others. He chooses to just stare at the way the younger’s hands tremble more and more with every motion. His face, however, is expressionless; a blank canvas. Jaehyun knows that no matter how much he tries, the world had already done enough damage to last the golden-skinned boy a million lifetimes. 

Everyone notices. 

But it is Johnny who responds first. He grabs hold of Donghyuck’s wrist, prompting the youngest to look at the taller man. 

“He’s not responding because he is blocking the pain from me. Don’t worry, Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck intently stares at his lips to make sure he understands every word, shakes his head and takes a visible breath before going back to cleaning the wound. 

There’s something inside him which finds the way Johnny’s hand is still holding onto his boyfriend’s hand as Ten hovers near him, amusing. It is the last thing he should be feeling but he can’t help himself. Their dynamic is different but somehow they make it work and it reinstills his faith in bonds. 

Johnny’s gaze is soft as he sweeps it over Doyoung’s face. Jaehyun silently wonders if he looked the same way when he used to gaze at him. 

He is rudely ripped from his transient reverie by Taeil. 

“I’m gonna go take a shower.” 

Taeil announces, hovering near the threshold. Jaehyun wants so badly to ask him what’s wrong because he knows something is. He finds nothing but emptiness in them and it’s frustrating. 

He’s always wanted answers. He’s angry at the lack of them. There has always been too many questions and not enough answers, and it makes him want to pull out his hair. 

The field is never even and he hates it with a passion. 

The eldest slips away and Jaehyun’s gaze follows him out.

Ten sits next to Donghyuck and pats him gently on his back in an encouraging motion, a small “You’re doing well”. Jaehyun is suddenly reminded of someone else.

That’s where the problem rests. He is tired of just remembering and reminiscing. He misses being able to see him. He misses hearing his voice. He misses how every touch felt like tumbling down the rabbit’s hole in the best way possible, knowing the only place he would end up would be with him. He hates how the very tangible being that spelt immortality to him is an untouchable memory now, far away yet tucked deep into the folds created by the chaos in his mind. 

He wonders if he feels the gaping trench in his heart wherever he is. He wonders if he feels completely drained. He wonders if they’ll ever see each other again.

He wonders if breaking a promise made two years ago is worth running back to a place he is certain the other is no longer at. 

Ethics revolt against love. Promises burn bonds. Death swallows lives. Time fools men. 

He concludes that he’ll keep waiting, like the hundred, thousand times he has done before. Waiting for a sign he doesn’t know the form, nor the existence of. 

When Jaehyun returns to reality, Donghyuck is done sewing up Doyoung’s wound. He is glad to see that Doyoung isn’t stuck in a semi-conscious state anymore, having fallen into a deep sleep. He sees the way Ten’s gaze flicks between Johnny and Doyoung. The man’s plan to slip away from the room is clearly visible in his posture but Johnny is much too quick for his own good. When he grabs hold of Ten’s wrist gently but firmly and raises his eyes to meet the smaller man’s, Jaehyun knows the exact words which will tumble out. 

“Stay.” 

Ten smiles, leaning forward and smoothing a hand down the disastrous and lifeless mess that Johnny’s hair is. 

Jaehyun sneaks behind Donghyuck and taps him on the shoulder, a silent “Let’s give them a moment” quickly exchanged through hasty signs. The youngest nods and shoves the first-aid box inside the drawer of the bed-side table. 

The night is long but so was the day.  

 

***

 

It’s Ten who nudges Jaehyun awake after roughly two hours or so. The sky is still dark outside when he glances at the open window and Jaehyun is pissed. If the other man didn’t have the visibly Donghyucked band-aid – ones with black marker hearts, on his cheekbone, his hand would have automatically sucker punched the life out of him for having wakened him up from the dreamless sleep he was having. He refrains from letting his insensitive mouth run its course. He rubs a hand on his face and sits up on the couch, bones cracking as he stretches. 

He doesn’t know why he is so rudely interrupted from his sleep at such an early hour despite how terrible the night was. For a moment, panic seizes hold of his thoughts. Did something... 

“You didn’t eat dinner, brat.” 

Jaehyun sighs in response. Relieved. Again. Saved. Again. 

It feels like he is evading deadly blows every time relief fills him. He doesn’t know if dodging the small ones will lead to him falling face first into the final killing blow. He really doesn’t know. He doesn’t know if ignorance and uncertainty should sound as sinister as it does.

 

What surprises him however when he turns is Doyoung standing near the kitchen door, Johnny’s strong hand looped around his waist holding him up. The injured man’s smile is a smaller version of the one he is used to but he returns it anyway. 

A part of his brain asks him to stop smiling. It is vicious. Jaehyun’s head throbs in protest, in pain. 

“The Prince is awake.” 

Johnny declares, his smile sincere, relieved much like Jaehyun’s. 

Johnny helps Doyoung settle down on the couch. Jaehyun is glad that the other man is healing fast from a wound that was draining his life away just hours ago. 

“You’re an idiot.” 

Is what he says instead. Doyoung smiles knowingly and it annoys the hell out of him that the elder man knows exactly what he means. 

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

Doyoung states, smiling gratefully at Donghyuck who hands him a plate of jajangmyeon. By the lack of nagging that the injured man is usually responsible for, he figures that the elder is still in pain. He is just glad to see him up and about. 

Jaehyun’s eyes follow Donghyuck and he is certain that the younger didn’t sleep despite having sat right next to him when he slipped into oblivion. The thought is slightly disturbing and greatly worrying. 

They don’t eat much even if Donghyuck’s cooking is certified restaurant quality. They’re all exhausted and on edge about the explosive conversation that is brewing inside. Even Taeil’s sighs don’t really contribute much to the already tense atmosphere. Hell, it might just be working in the exact opposite direction of how they want things to go. 

Donghyuck hesitates to finish dinner, pushing the noodles around on his plate with his fork, intentionally attempting to delay the yelling that will inevitably take place. He knows that “spoon down” usually means “fire now” for his hyungs.

“Donghyuck.”

Ten calls out softly. 

There’s no use in delaying the waves, no matter the repercussions. Let it wash over. 

Donghyuck puts the chipped, yellow ceramic plate down as his gaze meets Jaehyun’s. Ten helps him collect the cutlery. No one moves a finger until they return and settle down. 

Time drags. 

They’re used to its extremely inconvenient and absolutely nonsensical way of moving. They used to complain. They no longer do. 

“Jae, did you find anything?” 

Johnny is the one who begins the conversation. Ten and Doyoung immediately send the two men questioning glances, not knowing that they were kept out of a particular loop. 

Jaehyun shakes his head in a negative. 

“What are you guys talking about? What was he looking for?” 

Taeil asks. Jaehyun doesn’t answer, rubbing a hand over his face again. He’s angry and the elder man is the last person who has the right to ask him that question. 

“Why should we tell you? Did you tell us before you sneaked out at the ass crack of dawn?” 

Taeil sends Jaehyun a look of utter bewilderment. Jaehyun is fully prepared. His armour doesn’t crack easily. 

“Jae, don’t pull that card. I had my reasons. Now tell me.” 

Jaehyun laughs in response. His expression is vile. He doesn’t care. He isn’t here to please anybody. 

“Don’t pull that card?” Jaehyun asks calmly. “ _Don’t pull that card?_ ” He repeats in a thundering voice and it reverberates through the room. Even if it is directed at Taeil, Donghyuck jumps in response as he feels the vibrations along the arm of the recliner with his palms splayed flat on top of them. He looks at Jaehyun pleadingly. He doesn’t relent to the request conveyed through the gaze. 

“You had your reasons? Fuck reasons, hyung! Fuck them! Fuck reasons that lead you to sneak out when we’re asleep. Fuck reasons that lead you to disappear in the middle of the day. Fuck reasons that end up killing all of us.” He pauses, takes a lungful of air. “That day isn’t far away, hyung. You do know that, right?” 

Jaehyun doesn’t tolerate stupidity. Any plan that leads to getting your friends killed was stupid in his books. 

Aggravatingly enough, Taeil doesn’t answer.

“What if something happened to Doyoung hyung? What if Ten hyung didn’t reach you in time and you died? What if Johnny hyung came and the Blue Wraith saw him? What then?” Jaehyun pauses to take a breath. “What were you thinking? What was so fucking important than all our lives combined? Why didn’t you ask one of us to come along? Anyone of us?”

Tears flow freely down the elder man’s face as he listens but his expression doesn’t shift. It feels almost like watching a mannequin cry. A hideous feeling catches hold of his chest. 

“Nothing serious happened, Jae. Even if Johnny came, nothing would have happened. You know that.” Taeil says, voice much too calm and unshaken for Jaehyun to even imagine. 

He is done. He lifts the table and slams it on the wall, creating a dent in the structure, the blend of wood and glass shattering none-so-softly. Ten pulls Donghyuck to the side as Johnny does the same to Doyoung. 

Jaehyun rushes forward to grab Taeil by the collar, rage coursing through his veins. Johnny, Ten and Donghyuck try in vain to help Taeil down. 

“WHAT THE FUCK, YOU BASTARD? I DON’T FUCKING CARE IF THESE THREE ARE IMMORTAL OR NOT! I DON’T! IF THEIR BOND ISN’T STRONG, THEY WILL DIE! YOU KNOW THAT! WHY WOULD YOU EVER..? WERE YOU COUNTING ON THEM TO COME HELP YOU? WHAT THE FUCK..?”

Johnny puts a hand in front of Jaehyun to stop him, Ten pulling him against his chest as he struggles to contain the furious man. The taller man steps forward, the epitome of calm. 

“Did you think that nothing would happen to us just because our bond promises so-called “invincibility”?” Johnny’s hands demonstrate air quotes at the word, a sick smile plastered on his usually pleasant face, “Is that it, hyung?” 

Taeil’s silence is enough for them to draw their answers. 

Doyoung stumbles backwards into the arms of a lost Donghyuck who stands petrified at the conversation happening. 

“Is that all... Is that all we are for you, hyung? A bunch of people whose lives don’t matter?” 

The next stream of words from Jaehyun’s mouth is particularly loathsome. 

“Or was that your plan? Are you still working for them? Is that it? Are we...” Jaehyun chortles deeply, chest heaving, “... Are we just puzzle pieces in your fucked-up game?” 

Taeil’s lips wobble as he collapses on his knees and the group scramble back in horror. 

“No. NO! You mean a lot more than that. I just-Listen to me... I heard-I heard that Taeyong was in Gangnam. I know what Jaehyun is going through. I couldn’t just leave that information without checking. Taeyong made Jaehyun promise to not look for him, not us. My mind wasn’t working straight and I didn’t think that the three of you might come looking for me. I care. I do. I know I’m not going to be there forever with you. I know. I just wanted to try and see if it was him. I wanted to bring him back. That’s all I wanted to do. I didn’t trust my instincts this time. I had a feeling that it wasn’t him but I couldn’t just let the chance pass. I knew something was wrong but I didn’t know it would lead to Doyoung... When I realized that he was out looking for me, it was already too late. I’m sorry.” 

Taeil rests his forehead on the floor and weeps, his body shaking with the intensity. Jaehyun feels tears roll down his cheeks and he feels frozen, suspended in some limbo where one doesn’t feel, doesn’t hurt. 

“Jaehyun, I know I’ve given you no reason to trust me, but I’d rather die before thinking of doing that to you.” 

He is lying. Taeil has given them a million reasons to trust them but somehow that still isn’t enough for Jaehyun. His trust is hard to gain. Has always been. 

Donghyuck walks to the man on the floor and kneels next to him, pulling him and hugging him to his chest, his breathy cries filling the room. Johnny hugs Ten and Doyoung with his long hands, trying his best to convey all the love he has for them, his sole intention being comfort. 

“You could have told one of us, hyung.” 

Doyoung chokes out as he lets Johnny go. 

“How could I tell you when I knew that I might not be coming back?” 

Those words grate against the already jagged edges of Jaehyun’s heart. He painfully learns once again that misconceptions and miscommunications ruin lives, destroy reputations, rip apart relationships. 

He is much too egoistic to apologize but he had made the mistake of arriving at a conclusion much too soon. He knows he has to speak up. He knows he has to ask about him. It is insensitive to not address Taeil but Jaehyun has never been the type to worry about things like that. Some part of him chides him but Jaehyun is deaf to its musings. 

“Did you... Was he-Was it true? Was he- he there?” 

It’s surprising how hard it is to even think about his name, much less say it out loud. His tongue feels stuck in his throat and Jaehyun doesn’t know if he needs the answer to the question he asked.

He’s lying. 

He does. He wants an answer so badly. 

“No,” Taeil says, apologetic, despondent. Jaehyun refuses to pay mind to what the pained syllable means.”He wasn’t, Jae. I’m sorry. It was another boy who ran away from Gyeongju. None of this mess would have happened if someone didn’t rat me out. I shouldn’t have stayed at the bar for so long. I should have known that Taeyong is smarter than that. He wouldn’t put his life on the line like that when he knows how dangerous it is. I was stupid. I’m sorry.”

He isn’t here, Jaehyun. He’s still far away. Somehow that calms him more than knowing he is stuck in some diabolical place like the merciless streets of Gangnam. He hurts but it’s better than knowing he is close and in danger.

“Hyung, I’m...” 

Apology prods at the walls of his throat but its hands don’t turn into claws and so, those words never make it out. He may not trust him fully but a part of him knows that he is honest, a part of him still respects him as a hyung. 

“I know. It’s okay. You were just protecting them. That’s all I’ll ever ask from you. I understand, Jaehyun.” 

Taeil is a Listener. Jaehyun should have considered that part of him before jumping to conclusions. If he knew that something was to pose serious mortal danger to Doyoung, Ten or Johnny, Jaehyun knows that the eldest would have done everything in his power to stop it from happening. The realization leaves a terrible aftertaste in his mouth. Somehow he feels like an apology can never make up for the words that had tumbled out of his mouth while in the throes of fury. 

He doesn’t try. 

“We’ll clean this up. Will you go outside with him and get some fresh air?” 

Ten asks, his voice tired but mouth articulating the syllables properly to ensure that Donghyuck will understand him, even in the almost amber light cast over the room. 

Jaehyun is jolted out of his stupor by gentle hands encasing his wrist in a light grip. 

“Where?” 

He finds himself asking even as the noises of broken glass and wood fill his eardrum. 

 _“Up.”_ He gestures with his index finger. 

Up it is. 

 

***

 

When you are in the presence of a boy who reminds you of everything bright and brilliant, there’s really not much you can do except stare. From the half-hearted peek he had taken at the small alarm-clock near the door, Jaehyun knows that sunrise is still a few hours away. Even then, he feels the vibrancy of the soul of the younger boy leak in colourful smoke-like ripples and embedding itself into the dark ball of angst that he is. He almost wants to run downstairs and strip his mattress of the thick grey blanket and wrap the other in it, just so his light won’t fade away. 

But he is certain that survival is impossible for him without Donghyuck. He needs his light like he needs air to breathe, like the certainty that the blades he carries give him. It’s almost symbiotic in a strange way but Jaehyun is done overthinking. All he knows is that he needs Donghyuck. His purpose is keeping him safe at all costs and that purpose has helped him take precious breaths no matter how much Taeyong’s absence haunts him. If he doesn’t, he would have failed Taeyong. 

Jaehyun almost gasps as he says the name in his thoughts. It feels like a litany he has never allowed himself to talk or think about since the eventful day. It spells out sweet release and agonizing confinement all at the same time. His name is everything he’s lost but not all. 

It’s utter agony. Jaehyun is lying to himself. His throat laughs in mockery, reminding him of the nights he woke up with his name on the tip of his tongue, the tiniest of mangled whispers escaping his mouth, making it bleed worse than tortured screams ever have. 

His hand is still safe within the shorter fingers of Donghyuck. He wonders if he’s draining Donghyuck of his brightness. He doesn’t want to but he can’t help it. 

 _You’re so selfish, Jaehyun_. The mocking voice in his head streams in but he doesn’t pay it any heed. 

They’re going up the stairs to the rooftop. 

For the first time in a long time, Jaehyun thinks of heaven. 

Donghyuck opens the door to the roof just as thoughts of paradise flicker through the dark dungeons of Jaehyun’s mind. It is like seeing a prompter and artist sync up on stage. He likes it. 

Dawn is late to arrive but the elder man follows the boy he is the protector of without qualms. He wonders if Taeyong let them go, knowing that Donghyuck would take care of Jaehyun the same way he knew Jaehyun would do the other. It is a revelation. 

A revelation he doesn’t know what to think about. 

When Donghyuck untangles their fingers, Jaehyun’s heart drops to his stomach. He feels cold. He feels like a boy standing torn as he stares at his little brother from a distance, knowing that the connection they had has faded away. It brings dread of the worst kind. He never wants to feel this way. 

Jaehyun’s hand latches onto Donghyuck’s wrist with thinly veiled desolation. It’s a tight grip this time, much unlike the soothing one that the younger’s was. 

Donghyuck turns to him at the speed of light. His face softens when he sees Jaehyun’s panicked face. 

He uses his free hand to tap twice on the elder’s hand. 

 _I’m here._  

Jaehyun nods. He lets go of his hand calmly. He doesn’t want to burden the delicate shoulders of the younger with the weight of the world. His mind is a mess. He can’t help it. 

The duo stands staring at the view in front of them. It feels like hearing offbeat music. It’s still notes and rhythms capable of the best kind of healing but something is wrong and they know it. Maybe the unsettling feeling stems from knowing that people are dying as they speak. It rises from knowing that people like them are being hunted down, both by people like them and by the others.

 

Trepidation is never easy to overcome. It’ll never be. Especially as long as they realize that the sea of lights created by stunning seafoam greens and bleeding blues are just masquerade parties of mass murders. The regal reds and withering whites are all but an illusion backed by blazing fluorescents to make it seem like the night doesn’t bring blood hungry men to their safe havens. Like it isn’t as bad as the day when everyone is out in the open, as if they aren’t all preys in plain sight. 

Jaehyun has never liked illusions. They’re nothing but tricks. He’s well aware of how armed desperados could flood their apartment complex at any time, of how they could all be just splatters of blood and bone dust on the floor, of how they’re all targets. He hates himself for letting himself rest even if for a while. He wishes he would find it in himself to never stop running. But he’s only human. He’s exhausted. 

He turns his face and looks at Donghyuck, his profile lit up by a plethora of shades. He looks colourful. As if the universe took time to make sure that all the lights, no matter what terrible activity they are apprentices to, fall on his face at the right angle and light him up, just as he is meant to be. It appeases the perturbation. 

 _”I’m sorry.”_  

Jaehyun doesn’t know what Donghyuck is apologizing for. 

“For what?” 

He hopes that the younger can see his mouth properly in the dim light. 

_”If it wasn’t for me, you would have been happy with him. You wouldn’t have had to run away without him. He wouldn’t have...”_

They’ve had this conversation before. A billion times. Jaehyun never gets tired of saying the same answer.

He signs it this time. He puts up a strong face for the younger man and moves his hands around slowly, with certainty. 

“Maybe. Maybe not. Don't draw conclusions so soon. We can’t live our lives on maybes and what ifs. He loves you and he did what he did to protect us. Maybe him staying would have had repercussions we can't fathom. He knew something and I'm sure that if I knew what he did, I would have done the same thing too. It does hurt, Hyuck... more than anyone can ever imagine but I would do it a thousand times again if it means keeping you safe. I know he will too. But don't blame yourself because we still don't know for sure why he left. ” 

He always cries and this time is no different. Jaehyun is prepared when Donghyuck burrows his face into his chest. There’s a vacant spot in his heart but that doesn’t mean that he’ll ever stop looking after Donghyuck. He respects Taeyong’s decision and loves Donghyuck too much to ever dare. 

Maybe Taeyong already knew that Jaehyun would depend on Donghyuck and vice versa. A part of him hurts when he realizes that there’s no one like Donghyuck for Taeyong, wherever he is. He sends a prayer like he always does to some unseen, ruthless trickster upstairs. 

Jaehyun’s arms tighten on their own around the smaller frame of the younger before letting go. 

 _”I miss him.”_  

Jaehyun does too. He says so. 

“Every single day.” 

Donghyuck’s expression seems to fall even more at that so Jaehyun lightly pats him on the shoulder. 

 _”Do you think he’s here in Seoul? Can you feel him at all, hyung?”_  

The younger’s question is desperate and curious. Jaehyun recognizes the feeling but his answers haven’t changed since a particularly cold day in winter. Nothing, _nothing_ has changed since he felt the excruciating pain of Taeyong ripping their bond to shreds with his bare hands and teary face. 

The space in his heart reserved for a thread that bound them together stands starkly bare. Agonizingly so. 

“I don’t know, Donghyuck. It’s the same. Th-There’s nothing left there. It’s just... empty.” 

The kind of unfathomable emptiness that drags you deeper every time you acknowledged its diabolical and terrifying presence. He doesn’t want to sink but he can barely hold on anymore. 

He is not meant to survive without Taeyong. He knows that. Each unseen pang of pain is a testimony to the fact that has been drilled into his brain from when he met the other when he was eleven. Donghyuck can only do so much in helping him deal with the tormenting stabs of utter agony and distress.

That’s just how things are now. His mind chants. 

Reassurance is the last thing it reminds him of.

His hand finds the younger’s smaller ones again in the celebration of death, hidden under the treacherous festival of lights just as his gaze finds home in the starless sky. 

He closes his eyes and for an ephemeral moment, he feels the reel containing treasured images of a familiar set of lips curving up play. It’s enough to keep him going for a bit more.


	3. Polaroids and polarities

The next morning finds Jaehyun waking up on the couch, a certain black-haired boy held close to his chest with his arms wound tight around his torso. He wonders why the both of them didn’t sleep in the younger’s bed when they knew that it was unoccupied. Jaehyun curses at his senseless 4 AM self.

When he traipsed back to the apartment with Donghyuck in the night, he had felt dawn chasing the night with its platter of crimsons and auburns. Sleep had come easily as soon as his head hit the cushion of the couch.

Jaehyun reprimands himself for forgetting one of their unstated maxims: Bed is a luxury and is supposed to be used whenever the chance was available.

He figures that all sorts of decision-making skills had short-circuited with the exhaustion finally taking over.

Running tended to force you to reappraise your priorities and alter them accordingly. Jaehyun inhales deeply at the thought.

Usually, Donghyuck was the one who woke up in the middle of the night and sneaked under his covers. However today, Jaehyun knows for a fact that he is the one who pulled the younger down with him. He apologizes to Donghyuck silently for forcing him to sleep on the couch and prays for their poor necks.

He looks down at the boy tucked under his chin. He can’t see much of Donghyuck except his hand which is folded into a small fist and his messy mop of black hair. His heart feels full. Content, if he may say so. It is, after all, one of the best things to wake up to.

For a second, Jaehyun smiles thinking of how blessed the younger’s Half is, wherever they are. Thinking about the future always puts Jaehyun in a good mood because more than half the time, he doesn’t dare to think they have one.

He is snapped out of his reverie when a hand puts a steaming cup of coffee on the coffee table. He follows the slightly bruised knuckles to a bandaged elbow to the droopy sleeves of Johnny’s old t-shirt, his gaze finally landing on a pale smiling face.

Jaehyun simply gives Doyoung a blank look. He sees the offence forming and the insult coming.

“You’re welcome too, bitch!”

Jaehyun snorts tiredly, before stopping to see if Donghyuck is showing any signs of waking up.

Doyoung’s playful look fades as he notices Jaehyun checking on Donghyuck. He shifts in his seat.

“He didn’t sleep till around eight in the morning, Jae. I woke up when he came to the room to get sleeping pills.”

Doyoung’s words are filled with worry and it immediately latches onto Jaehyun as well.

Worry is contagious.

Dangerously so. His optimism shifts gears and pulls away from the parking lot that is his mind. It annoys him. Why does it have to leave so soon?

“But I didn’t notice when he woke up.”

Doyoung gives him a blank look.

“You must’ve been dead asleep. I think he was crying. He asked me not to get up and I was really drained. I only remember looking at the clock and at him.” Doyoung stops fidgeting with his fingers as he pauses. “I’m worried, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun’s hands tighten around the younger as he hears it. He dreads those words.

Always have. Always will.

What follows is never good and he knows it too.

He also mentally admonishes himself for sleeping so deeply that Donghyuck slipped from his hold and returned without him knowing. They could have gotten themselves killed in his state of utter unresponsiveness. He is grateful to all the men upstairs for having been particularly benevolent last night.

“I’m-I’m worried too, hyung. He’s been acting weird lately. Something is off. I know for sure that something is but I can’t figure it out.”

Doyoung nods understandingly. Jaehyun gets up, carefully lifting Donghyuck’s head with his hand and making sure he is comfortably resting it on the pillow. He gets a good look at the other’s face then. There are dried tear tracks on his cheeks. Worry coils in his gut like a vicious serpent.

He relocates to the single-seater opposite the one Doyoung is sitting on and rubs a hand over his face. He still feels sleepy but he can’t let his body get used to more rest. It will only have detrimental effects on him when they don’t have the privilege to sleep more than two hours again.

“How are you feeling, hyung?”

Doyoung smiles softly.

“Much better.”

Jaehyun is glad. He takes the cup of coffee and takes a measured sip. It’s not like how Taeyong or Donghyuck makes it but it’s made with care and love, and Jaehyun isn’t as much an asshole to ignore the consideration being given to him.

“Where’s John..?”

Doyoung answers before Jaehyun finishes asking.

“Youngh... He went with Taeil hyung to get us brunch. It’s way past 1. We slept in for too long.”

Jaehyun almost snorts at the way Doyoung so casually slips up with Johnny’s real name. No one except Doyoung and Ten gets to call the elder that name. It’s how it always has been.

He is once again mildly annoyed at himself for having slept in for so long with so much activity going around him. He wonders if his senses are getting duller as the days pass by.

“Don’t over think, Jae. You were just tired, okay? Don’t worry about it. Give yourself some leeway. Nothing happened.”

Jaehyun hates how those are the exact words he wants to hear right now. He hates that Doyoung understands them so well. Most important of all, he hates how things like this automatically remind him of Taeyong.

Jaehyun hums half-heartedly in response. Doyoung looks like he wants to say more but he turns his head to look at Donghyuck and shakes his head as if asking himself to not say whatever it is out loud.

Jaehyun isn’t sure if he wants to know. So he doesn’t pry.

“I’m gonna shower. I’m all filthy.”

Jaehyun announces as he gets up. Unsurprisingly enough, Doyoung in true Doyoung style rises from his seat, leans into his personal space and sniffs him.

“Wow, you smell terrible.”He says, adding “I feel sorry for Donghyuck,” as an afterthought.

Jaehyun snorts.

“Me too.”

He agrees because honestly, he smells like shit. He briefly contemplates if Donghyuck’s olfactory senses are malfunctioning because that is how terrible Jaehyun stinks.

Doyoung follows him as he walks to his room. Ten is still in deep sleep on Jaehyun’s bed when he goes in. The man is in a fetal position, his thick black hair spread in a messy halo on the ochre pillow. The bunny-faced man walks to him and runs a hand through the other’s hair as he pushes it back.

Ten groans in response making Doyoung grin devilishly at the tiny, half-asleep man.

Jaehyun opens the closet and grabs a pair of sweatpants, t-shirt and boxers. He silently curses as he realizes that he slept with jeans on. No wonder his thighs feel like they haven’t felt blood circulation for a while.

When he turns, Ten is making grabby hands at Doyoung. The other man’s evil grin transforms into a fond smile as he climbs on the bed and spoons the Thai man.

The sight hurts his eyes.

(Not really.)

He’s happy that they have forged such a great companionship despite Johnny being the only common variable between them. They both love Johnny, obviously, but Doyoung and Ten consider each other precious as well. Their relationship is the only three-way bond Jaehyun has witnessed in the considerable amount of time he has been alive for. He agrees that it is beautiful to see three people share the love that two does, even if it’s not all like that in every sense of a relationship.

He showers with a blank mind. It is calming until it is no more so as the deluge of thoughts stashed away comes wrecking past the walls he built for himself. He lets the scalding water do the job for him. His skin feels raw and clean when he’s done. Somewhere in the corner of his mind, he hears a voice scolding him for nearly burning himself. He listens patiently.

I’m freezing now, hyung.

He whispers back, his eyes empty as he stares at his image in the mirror. If Taeyong was there next to him, Jaehyun can imagine the pale, lanky arms which would pull him close. If he tries hard enough he can feel the way soft, plush lips would kiss his neck, without lust and want, just the warmth of the fire of an intense love exchanged between them. If he closes his eyes and prays to all the heartless deities out there, he may even hear the echo of three pious words which explained their bond flawlessly, immaculately, ripple through him.

But Taeyong isn’t there next to him. The prayers are in vain. He realizes for the umpteenth time that Ifs and maybes never help any of them. Hope is pleasant, he tells himself, but unrealistic and false ones which do nothing except make him feel like the magic carpet under his feet is being unforgivingly ripped away when he realizes their deceptive existence are better ignored, better shoved to the charcoal-shaded corners of his worn-down heart.

Jaehyun inhales and lets the uncertainty tumble down the drain, the water seeping into the small holes in the basin reminding him of the way the day he felt every thread of the precious bond he shared with Taeyong break, one by one, agonizingly slow one moment and windingly fast the other.

It’s like being pushed off a precipitous cliff only to freefall and feel his bones shatter as the cold water floods his mouth and ears.

At least the unbearable fire in his chest lulls for a second.

Then it’s back to burning, a huge conflagration in the limited confines of his chest cavity capable of destroying all that he believes in, all that he loves.

He feels divided. He doesn’t understand why he feels hot and cold at the same time. The poppy tunes of Katy Perry’s classic hit rush past his memory. But he doesn’t feel good.

Anger, Jaehyun thinks, isn’t good for the soulless.

 

***

 

When Jaehyun comes out of the shower, Donghyuck is still asleep. He feels stupid for having let him sleep on the couch. He should have moved him to the bed when he woke up itself. He wonders again if something is significantly wrong with his head.

It’s becoming a pattern of sorts, one that he is sure is turning out to be a matter of concern.

He sees Johnny hovering behind Doyoung as the elder puts the grocery in the refrigerator. Ten smirks at the pair from where he is sitting on the kitchen counter. Taeil is seated in the recliner, staring out the window as he sips tea from his cup. When Jaehyun hurriedly walks to the couch, the elder man turns and looks at him.

“Doyoungie told me he slept late. Is he okay?”

Jaehyun freezes for a second but doesn’t nod. Instead, he weighs his words in the balance of his mind.

Jaehyun has a clue but he doesn’t want to jinx it by voicing it out loud. He pretends like he is ignorant. He knows it is a disaster in the making. Jaehyun might as well write a manual on “How to know something but act like you don’t to save some meagre moments of calm for yourself”.

You’re so selfish, his head says. Pleased, vile. Jaehyun ignores the jab.

“Something’s wrong, hyung. He has been sleeping worse than usual these days.”

Taeil’s gaze flicks to the sleeping boy once and then back to Jaehyun. He puts the cup down softly.

“You’re keeping an eye on him right?”

Jaehyun is offended. Incredibly so but he doesn’t show it. He knows that Taeil means well. He wonders if the other knows something he doesn’t. He files the thought away for later analysis.

“Yeah. Of course.” _That’s the only thing I know._ He doesn’t say it but the look the Listener throws him tells him that it is just a rhetorical question.

Taeil nods pre-emptively. Jaehyun fidgets, nervous. He is still guilty about the night before.

“I’m gonna take him to bed.”

The eldest nods again before offering to help. Jaehyun waves it away like he always. He lifts Donghyuck carefully and notices that he is much lighter than the previous time he picked him up. It’s much too palpable and it’s scary.

Is he doing something wrong? Is he fucking this up?

He subconsciously holds him closer, turning in his path and kicking his room’s door open instead of the younger’s. He doesn’t see four pairs of eyes looking on affectionately.

When he lays the boy down, he sighs softly. Jaehyun realizes that the pill’s effects are wearing down but when he rises up, one of his hands cling to Jaehyun’s index finger.

His eyes fill with water instantly. He feels much too emotionally imbalanced. He doesn’t want to feel like this all the time. It’s draining him and he just wants it to stop. He wants to bury himself under six feet of wet sand and lie there, suffocating himself but feeling pleased with having the last word in the gauntlet that the universe has created solely for him. But he cannot, not when he has this young boy to protect, not when he is certain that someday the boy who gave himself up for him will find him.

In times like this, when thoughts are heavy and the younger’s fingers find peace in Jaehyun’s, he is reminded of how young the other is. How innocent he is despite the sass and wittiness he indulges in. How much he deserves happiness in life. Jaehyun swears to try harder every time something like this happens. The sleeping boy has nothing but love for others and it hurts Jaehyun that they are so cursed; that their life is such an odd and menacing game revolving solely around chances, engine whirrs and gun recoils.

His chest feels tight and he unwillingly pulls his hand away. It feels oddly similar to when Taeyong ripped their bond apart two years ago. It isn’t as intense but it’s terrible all the same. He kneels on the floor next to the bed and loops their fingers together in hopes of finding solace.

When he gets up after a minute or two, filled with contemplation of life, he leans down and pecks the other on the forehead, pushing his hair back.

Breakfast or rather brunch is a slow and uneventful affair. Ten waves away the food saying he’ll eat when Donghyuck wakes up, resulting in Jaehyun staring at the elder for a solid moment. They talk about Doyoung’s wound but they all know that it is healing fast thanks to Johnny’s constant presence. The bond’s workings were definitely beneficial for the trio.

It is Ten who pulls them back to the conversation they never truly finished the night before.

“Yesterday, before we fought, what were you two talking about?”

The smaller man’s index finger points vaguely in the direction of Jaehyun and Johnny. Doyoung sits straight at that, all ears for the explanation.

Jaehyun hesitates but Johnny steps in without reluctance. Between them, the elder was always the level headed one, second only to Taeil.

“Moonbin and Eunwoo went out to get their ammo refill the other day but it was a trap. They were taken. I asked Jaehyun to dig for some information about arms dealers in Gongju. There’s one that deals here and in Gongju. I was hoping that it was the same gang but it’s not. Jinjin asked if one of us could go and help.” Johnny turns his head and looks at the Thai man as he says the next words, “I had to go, Ten.”

Ten’s gaze widens in horror at hearing Johnny’s words. The anger is clear on his face. The fire in his eyes promises disappointment and betrays dread. However, it is not him but Doyoung who speaks up next.

“Is that how you got hurt?”

Johnny nods in acknowledgment, a look on his face well known among the gang as Seo Youngho’s Atrocious Attempts at Aversion.

“Are they okay?”

It is so like Doyoung to be concerned about their friends before scolding his boyfriend. Jaehyun can see that Johnny is proud with the fondness in his eyes as he stares at his Half. They are aware that Johnny is in for a long whooping but they also know that it won’t happen now. Ten’s eyes convey this intense need to dropkick Johnny but he only looks like he is considering it.

Johnny might have been saved by some stray fairy passing by, Jaehyun thinks.

Ten and Doyoung never let the rest of them watch them fight. They did have their couple’s spats but it always emanated more from worry and anxiety for each other than anything else.

“They are. Eunwoo lost a lot of blood. Someone from the gang shot him but his bond with Moonbin has intensified. He healed so fast, guys. It was amazing.”

Jaehyun is incredibly pleased to hear about the pair. When they had to leave Gongju about a year ago, it was Chanyeol hyung who hooked them up with Jinjin and his friends to help them find a place. They were only four then – the youngest Sanha, Jinjin, his Half, MJ and Eunwoo. Jaehyun had clicked immediately with Eunwoo because of some instant connection that came from having someone to care for. Their favourite thing to do when they were free was to plug in the broken X-Box which MJ fixed and watch Sanha and Donghyuck play. Sanha always won but Jaehyun’s heart had always clenched in his chest when the taller maknae stole furtive glances at Donghyuck, letting him win when he felt particularly “merciful”.

Johnny, Doyoung and Ten had arrived a week later in Gongju after cleaning up the mess that Jaehyun had created in the hurry to run away. He had lost his mind after the man who lived next door disclosed their locations. If Jaehyun had arrived home even a few minutes later that day, Donghyuck would have been as good as dead. That sheer thought was worth the bullet he put in his skull.

Jinjin had found another apartment in the same complex for the trio. Taeil had moved out with them too. But when Jaehyun brought up the topic of them moving out of Jinjin’s apartment, Eunwoo had refused vehemently, only sending a quick glance at Sanha and Donghyuck sitting together in front of the TV. He had been extremely grateful to him for noticing how close the maknaes were.

Jaehyun remembers how he had to fight for getting to spend time with Donghyuck. He remembers one night when he had woken up from a nightmare and felt this unexplainable urge to see Donghyuck. He was met with the sight of Donghyuck and Sanha dozing off on the couch. The maknae of Eunwoo’s gang had made him do a round of arm wrestling just to allow him to move Donghyuck from the couch to the bed. He feels a smile come on at the memory.

They found Moonbin and Rocky when they were out one night patrolling after Jinjin received a call from Hongbin hyung tipping them off about two people, one a Fault and another a Watcher. They had known that whoever they were, they were in need of help.

What was strange was how Jaehyun never realized that Eunwoo was a Fault as well. He didn’t have the ability to feel touch. It was a revelation which came to him when they found the two young men, Moonbin putting Eunwoo in a chokehold as their plans were rudely interrupted by Jaehyun and the gang. Jaehyun had never seen Eunwoo cry before and he had punched Moonbin in the face for attacking the ones who came to save them but it was only after Eunwoo threw him a teary-eyed glance that he realized that something wasn’t quite right.

Jaehyun still remembers the way Moonbin had let Eunwoo take his hand and touch his face. There was a kind of happiness that flooded the moment, and only then had Jaehyun realized that Moonbin was Eunwoo’s half. Rocky, the Watcher boy had shed some tears on behalf of the Faults in having succeeded in finding each other.

It still surprises him to no ends when he thinks about their bond. They had formed a very intense connection from the beginning itself. Moonbin cherished Sanha like he was the brother he never had. Jaehyun knows that it made Eunwoo’s choices a lot clearer, made loving Moonbin a lot easier.

Not that it was a hard task at all. It was different things that made bonds deepen and augment after all.

Living in Gongju was tough but having Eunwoo and the gang close had definitely helped them. Jaehyun distinctly remembers that it was when they were staying there that Johnny joked about finally getting to see his eyes without dark circles. It was a tiny detail but it had meant a lot to them. The other boys had given them shelter and helped them out in more ways than one. They had touched their hearts in more ways than one. Jaehyun was always especially glad to see Sanha and Donghyuck together because he knew that Donghyuck never got to experience a proper friendship. Since Sanha was a Listener like Taeil and knew sign language because of his late mother, there were little to no barriers in their communication.

The fact that Donghyuck always sends Jinjin a message addressed to Sanha on the only permanent phone they have every time Jaehyun gives him a new phone number speaks volumes about how much the maknae values their friendship. Jaehyun resists a minuscule smile at the thought.

They had stayed in Gongju for roughly four months, one of their longest stays at a place. Leaving had been particularly hard that time. Even Taeil had shed a tear or two when the inevitable farewell came. Johnny had found leaving the place particularly difficult too. Jaehyun remembers staring at Eunwoo and capturing his face in his mind, a promise of being there for him if he ever needed, conveyed through the gaze.

So when Johnny got the call from Jinjin, Jaehyun was insistent on going to help but being stubborn hadn’t helped. Negotiating with Johnny once he was determined to do something was like talking to a wall. Jaehyun had conceded when he was asked to look for leads on arms dealers. They had decided that they wouldn’t let the others know until they helped Jinjin and the gang.

Safety was always priority. Sometimes not knowing was safer.

“I’m gonna call them up. We should talk to them. They might be anxious now. Letting them know that we are here is important.”

Doyoung says, his hands already finding his phone and scrolling for the others’ phone number. Ten follows the other man as he walked to the kitchen to talk to the gang.

“Let Donghyuck know when he wakes up. He’ll want to talk to Sanha.”

Taeil states calmly. Jaehyun hums in response, reminding himself to call and check on Eunwoo in the night. He isn’t in the right state of mind to console or comfort his friend at the moment. What Eunwoo needs right now is unhesitant words and clear positivity. Jaehyun will not call him just to stutter over half-truths and whole lies about how they’ll be fine no matter what. He also doesn’t want to steal the time that he knows Moonbin will want with Eunwoo. The pain only amplified with the bond. Jaehyun doubts if Moonbin has mastered blocking pain from Eunwoo like Doyoung did the night before. It must definitely not have been an easy or comfortable ride for Moonbin.

“We need to move.”

Taeil announces. His eyebrows are scrunched together and he closes his eyes for a second. Jaehyun suddenly feels a lot off-kilter than he already is. Johnny clasps his fingers together before leaning back, clearly struggling with some thought related to the words of the eldest.

“We need to move fast, don’t we?”

Johnny asks finally, voice even but somehow still conveying the anxiousness. The stress on _fast_ doesn’t go unnoticed.

Taeil nods in confirmation. He lifts his left hand and pinches the bridge of his nose, getting up from the recliner.

It happens so fast. Neither Johnny nor Jaehyun are able to catch the eldest before he hits the ground like dead weight.

His collapse rips a loud shout of “Hyung” from Jaehyun’s throat.

The two men run to the Listener and kneel by his side. Jaehyun lets Johnny lift the other up and follows him as he walks to Donghyuck’s room since said boy was asleep in Jaehyun’s bed.

They’ve seen Taeil collapse a handful of times. It always pisses Jaehyun off because he knows that the other man is aware when he stretches himself beyond his limits. Despite it, Taeil never asks them for help.

He turns the elder’s head with his hands and to his horror, finds a slow trickle of blood from his ears.

“Hyung, he’s bleeding.”

Johnny rushes forward with a wet towel and sits by his side, dabbing at the side of his head. The blood keeps flowing but it slows down noticeably after Jaehyun hands Johnny a bag of frozen peas.

“Eunwoo is fine. They’re actuall...”

Ten stops in his tracks, Doyoung trailing behind him, almost colliding with his back at the sudden halt. The relief on their faces immediately fades as their eyes land on Taeil.

“What’s-what’s going on?”

Jaehyun doesn’t miss a beat.

“He collapsed.”

The pair walks to the bed. Doyoung gently taps Johnny on the shoulder. He obtains the pea bag from him and settles himself near the unconscious man. He holds the bag near the elder’s ears and lets Ten wipe the trickle of blood from his other ear with the wet towel that Jaehyun hands him.

“He’s drained. Let’s just let him sleep.”

Doyoung declares a few minutes after the bleeding stops. He gets up from the bed and pulls the comforter on top of the eldest.

The group agrees with a general sound of affirmation.

 

***

 

When Donghyuck wakes up about an hour later, it is Ten who sits down and patiently signs everything for him. Just minutes later, they video call Sanha on MJ’s phone. Jaehyun lazily glances at the maknae as he signs at his only friend through the multicoloured pixels of a cracked screen. Ten dropped his phone way so many times that none of them paid it any heed anymore.

With the way Donghyuck’s hands tremble in between, Jaehyun understands that he is shaken up. But he is proud of him for trying to at least put on a face for the sake of others. A part of him wishes he’d open up without worries. It’s too much to ask from someone like Donghyuck who thrives solely on making others happy; especially the ones he cares about.

Johnny lies down in Doyoung’s lap on the couch and talks about the gang he faced the day before. Jaehyun tunes out the conversation, randomly getting the urge to smile at the pair but choosing not to for fear of some fucked-up luck hovering around them. He isn’t going to take risks which could possibly sabotage their entire lives. Not even if it’s just a small quirk of the lips.

Ten accompanies Donghyuck to the kitchen after he talks to Sanha. Jaehyun is grateful for the Thai man for waiting for the youngest to wake up to have food. Jaehyun had been lost when they were having brunch, roaming around on some other plane of consciousness as he poked around the food on his plate.

When they return, Donghyuck, the little devil that he is, pushes Ten on top of Johnny and Doyoung, the elder man letting out a timely _OOF_ at the smaller’s weight. Doyoung groans but breaks into a smile when Ten cuddles up to Johnny’s chest and grins up at him. Jaehyun almost wants to get up and retreat his room, feeling like he’s seeing something he shouldn’t be, invading into something he isn’t supposed to.

But then, Johnny gives Donghyuck a poorly hidden thumbs-up. Donghyuck sticks his tongue out at the man as if saying he didn’t do it for him.

 _”Brat.”_ He mouths.

Donghyuck rolls his eyes.

Donghyuck approaches Jaehyun and collapses on top of him, and he promptly forgets his plans to move away from the lovey-dovey trio. He clicks his tongue in annoyance when they can’t find a comfortable position but then Donghyuck hides his face in his neck and turns his body a little, and it’s suddenly perfect.

It feels like he is holding a baby. You are, his mind supplies. He wraps his hands tight around the younger and hopes to God that the other falls asleep again because the dark circles were getting a little too prominent for Jaehyun to just ignore.

He thanks the man upstairs when Donghyuck sighs and goes pliant in his arms.

Planning their next move with an over-sized baby cuddled to your chest is quite a feat. It is incredibly distracting too but Jaehyun has had years of experience doing the same. Donghyuck used to love cuddling with Taeyong. Jaehyun had grown impossibly fond of seeing the two people he loved most in the world all twined around each other like vines but that time had gone in a flurry of two years with a Taeyong-shaped hole in their lives.

Johnny claps his hands together to gain Jaehyun’s attention, knowing the younger’s lost look too well.

“Yah! Stop zoning out.”

Johnny remarks with no heat.

“I’m sorry. What were you saying?”

Johnny takes a visible breath as he leans back on the couch.

“I asked where you want to go next. We’ll move the day after tomorrow. I think Daegu is a safe option. We’ll have Baekhyun hyung and Taehyung close if we need anything too. But there’s been an influx of Faults there. We don’t know if that’s good or bad yet. The only other places that have been relatively calm are Goyang and strangely, Incheon.”

Jaehyun turns his head and shakes it in a clear negative.

“Incheon is _never_ calm.” He states, words stuffed with certainty.

“I know.” In fact, they all know. For good reason too.

“We’ll go to Daegu then. Goyang. The Poker gang still has a strong hold there. It’ll be like stepping into a minefield. Their silence isn’t synonymous with safety. Minwoo and Jihee...” Jaehyun trails off.

Johnny’s face drops at hearing the names. It had been during one of their first few moves since leaving Taeyong behind. They weren’t this smart then and had stumbled directly into the hub of the Poker gang. It was Minwoo who helped them find a place when he realized that they were all Ables. They hadn’t stayed at Goyang for long but those two months were enough and more material for nightmares. It had come to an anti-climactic end when Jihee was found to be telekinetic by the vicious gang.

Minwoo had begged them to move away. The look in his eyes was still a terrible memory for Jaehyun. He had seen the defeat and acceptance of a terrible fate. Even if they received a message from Minwoo’s neighbour about the pair’s murders two days after they left, Jaehyun had asked himself to remember the man for being one of the very few who dared to fall in love with an Able, for being one of the very few who was kind enough to help a bunch of lost Faults and a Listener.

Jaehyun remembers how Johnny had taken the death to heart. But his way of coping was to forget, shove the memory into a vibranium vault never to be forced open again. He figures that the wound is still fresh.

“Daegu it is then.”

Doyoung decides for Johnny, his fingers carding through Ten’s hair, the Thai man half asleep on his lap. Johnny sends the younger a small smile in gratitude for saving him from the conversation.

Jaehyun mulls over the possibility of Taeyong still being in Seoul. He crosses his heart and hopes that he isn’t.

 

***

 

When you are forced to pack up your life so many times, you tend to learn to cherish only the most indispensable things. Jaehyun’s grip tightens on the dusty windowsill at the thought. He realizes that he is going to miss the view from the window, the same one where he and Donghyuck found themselves zoning out while thinking of their next move.

As he stares at the small house behind their apartment complex, he wonders if the little boy who always waves at Donghyuck would miss them. It’s a random thought but Jaehyun knows why his mind is forcing him to think of it. It’s a roundabout way of his conscience to make him aware of how he doesn’t have to wallow in this feeling of farewell because there’s no one they’re saying goodbye to this time. They’re only leaving behind an apartment and a boy who lives eight stories down who may or may not recognize them if he saw them up close.

Jaehyun likes this apartment. It is one of the largest they have ever occupied because of it having a separate living room, kitchen and dining hall. Johnny, Ten and Doyoung lived along with Taeil in an apartment roughly a mile away because they thought that splitting up was safer. Numbers drew attention and that is the last thing they wished.

Run down apartments. Drawn on walls. Elevators that don’t work. That’s how it has always been.

Running isn’t a new concept for Jaehyun. Neither is it like that for the rest of them. Even with Taeyong, they were constantly running but just when they had paused in their tracks, finally preparing for a possible new start, reality had come in the form of cruel and invasive hoodlums. It isn’t a good memory so Jaehyun wills himself to switch tracks.

He doesn’t have to try much because he hears Doyoung’s voice call him loudly from his room.

Jaehyun closes his eyes for a moment and shuffles over to the room. Doyoung is crouching on the floor, his eyebrows clearly distressed. The man looks up when he sees him.

“Did you forget about this?”

It takes a while for Jaehyun to understand what the elder is talking about. He freezes, feeling like his heart has refused to beat for an eventful moment. He doesn’t beg for it to work. Not when he processes what he has forgotten about.

“I...”

Words don’t come easy as his mind comprehends the audacity of the crime he has committed.

Crime, Jaehyun. The forceful voice in his head reminds him callously.

Doyoung worriedly glances at him and gets up with a barely veiled groan, walking to him and snapping his fingers in front of his face.

“It’s okay, Jae.”

No, it’s not, he thinks.

“Jaehyun, it’s okay. It’s just a box.”

It isn’t, he denies vehemently.

It isn’t just a box even if it all it contains are a couple of yellowing Polaroid photos, a broken bracelet and a hideous hot pink hoodie. For Jaehyun, those are souvenirs of high priority; seemingly meaningless bits and pieces he had picked up with Taeyong’s voice in his head asking him to _just fucking run, Jaehyun_.

“Jaehyun!”

Doyoung calls out, voice slightly raised. Jaehyun jolts out of his stupor.

“It isn’t okay, hyung. It’s all I have of him. I’m not supposed to just... just forget about it. What if you didn’t notice it?”

Jaehyun’s breath speeds up as he says it. What if he didn’t notice indeed. There’s a crack in the wall of his memory, and he bleeds vivid red.

Betrayal is bitter. Especially when the culprit is your own head.

Doyoung doesn’t answer him instantly, shifting on his feet as he thought intensely about the words he was going to say.

“Then we would have driven back for it. No matter what. We would have come back”. Doyoung lets out a sigh as he pauses. “But, you’re wrong. This isn’t all you have of him, Jaehyun.” Doyoung takes his hand and pokes a lean finger on his chest right where his heart beats. “This isn’t yours, remember?”

It isn’t, he realizes. His heart has never been his. It’s quite a cheesy interpretation of their love but it’s nothing short of the truth. It doesn’t take him too long to calm himself after it.

Doyoung smiles at him as he sees Jaehyun come back to himself.

“Now, get it. I’m gonna help Donghyuck pack up the last of his things. Ten and Johnny hyung will be here in a few.”

Jaehyun nods.

“Did they talk to the landlady about the front door?” He asks just when Doyoung starts to step away.

“They did. She asked them not to worry about it.”

Jaehyun nods again, moving out of Doyoung’s way to let the other walk away.

Jaehyun remembers a fateful night a week ago when Johnny had to shoot at the door to help a claustrophobic Ten out when the lock refused to give. Johnny, Jaehyun and Taeil had been out looking for a rumoured Fault but Johnny had started feeling some kind of dread make home in his chest cavity. When he confessed to feeling fear and anxiety which wasn’t his own, they had immediately called Ten. He hadn’t picked up his phone and Johnny had damn near lost his mind.

Jaehyun had called Doyoung who was keeping an eye on Donghyuck to see if the elder was fine to confirm that it was indeed the Thai man who needed help. Taeil kept asking them to go faster as if he could hear Ten’s thoughts every time he closed his eyes. Jaehyun had panicked at seeing both his hyungs, one the other’s boyfriend and one a danger detector, incredibly restless and anguished.

When they saw what was wrong, they didn’t exactly wait around for a locksmith, Johnny making an extremely foolish and reckless decision of shooting at the door even if the situation didn’t look as serious from an outsider’s perspective to require such a reaction. Jaehyun had kept his mouth shut though, well aware of how the bond could cloud your senses and decision-making skills no matter the amount of self-control you think you had.

They had found Ten unconscious just as they opened the door. It had been a tough week for the trio. But Ten had tried his best to recover fast. Claustrophobia isn’t easy to overcome but Ten is a solid source of strength, making sure that his vulnerabilities didn’t limit him in what is expected of him to do. That’s why he and Johnny click so well. It is a fact Jaehyun has seen get proven over and over again.

It isn’t just his attribute though. Jaehyun knows that every single one in their small makeshift clique is the same. Donghyuck included. Talking to others about the things that worried them is hard because their sole aim, one they’ve engraved into their heads with shaking hands and stuttering breaths, is to move ahead with the least concerns hovering near them. It isn’t easy or painless but that’s just how life is for them, and they have grown accustomed to it.

It’s a terrible stab from reality but it’s also a definitive and undeniable truth.

One they’ve realized through their experiences, stuck to their conscience like the stains on the walls of a time-warped house.

Jaehyun has lost a lot.

But that hollow in his chest cavity reminds him of the one that hurt the most. It eats at him and he sighs, fingers delicately stroking the black metal bracelet. He closes his eyes and imagines a pale wrist being held out to him, his own hands clasping the accessory on.

Jaehyun doesn’t cry.

He wishes he could.

The flames in his chest burn him inside out.

He smiles.

After all, he’s always loved the fire.


	4. On the run

Daegu has never been particularly terrible to them. It’s one of the very few places that Jaehyun feels free enough to even think about letting his guard down. It’s a safe haven of sorts but they never stay too long there because somewhere in a corner of their minds they are aware of the fact that once upon a time, Incheon had been the same.

They all know how that turned out.

Nevertheless, Daegu is kind of like home. It’s not home in the sense that they hailed from there but there are people there that Jaehyun and the others would give up their lives for in a heartbeat. It helps that the city is not as tainted as the others with its comparatively low numbers of monochrome and lifeless buildings.

Jaehyun stares at the almost empty road in front of him, just a towing truck in his line of vision, Johnny’s car behind him. It makes sense since it’s not a route everyone prefers to use to go to Daegu. They never take a shortcut unless they are absolutely sure that it is safe. It had been one of the things Yuta had taught them before he left. The sun is bright but it’s at that point where it has started to contemplate sinking into the sea.

Jaehyun glances at a sleeping Donghyuck, Doyoung’s fingers rhythmically carding through the younger’s soft, raven-coloured hair. He hadn’t asked why the injured man had filed into his car when Johnny had clearly asked him to come to the other car. He isn’t sure if he is ready to hear the answer but he knows. He always has. He isn’t prepared for the new can of worms that the question will metaphorically invite him to.

Donghyuck stirs in the elder’s hold when they hit a speed bump and Jaehyun freezes in his seat, praying that it doesn’t wake up the younger. Johnny had fixed the brakes for him just before they left but it’s still stiff and creaky. He should call up Jungkook and Taehyung and ask if there are any spare cars. He hopes they do.

Taeil jolts awake in his seat, immediately lifting Jaehyun’s attention off Donghyuck. The other’s breathing is heavy and audible to the occupants of the car except for Donghyuck, his left hand pressing against his chest cavity a clear sign that something is not right or that he had a particularly bad dream.

Jaehyun hopes it is a bad dream.

“Hyung, what’s wrong?”

Jaehyun doesn’t know if his voice trembles.

Taeil slowly opens his eyes and shakes his head.

He needs a second. Jaehyun waits, his hand shifting the gear with ease. He feels Doyoung’s gaze flicking between the two of them, trying to gauge the situation, a hundred scenarios already running through his head.

The Listener lifts his eyes off the moving asphalt and cranes his neck to look at Donghyuck. Doyoung sends panicked glances to Jaehyun.

“He’s... he’s been lying to us.”

Jaehyun’s heart drops to his stomach. A few weeks after the last time he heard that... he lost Taeyong. Jaehyun feels terrified, heart brutally punching against his ribs.

“About... about what?”

Doyoung wheezes out, no longer smoothing down Donghyuck’s hair.

Jaehyun nearly avoids a crash with the truck. Johnny honks behind him in warning as if asking “what the hell are you doing”.

“It’s not my place to tell.”

Jaehyun wants to punch a wall. He doesn’t know whether to be relieved because he can stay in his bubble for some more time or to panic because he doesn’t _know_.

“Hyung...”

Jaehyun lets his voice trail off. He hopes Taeil breaks.

“Jaehyun, it’s...” He can see the struggle on Taeil’s face. “I can’t. I have no right. We’ll keep a close eye on him. He’s been struggling and he won’t tell us until we ask him. It’s... it’s bad.”

The only time that Jaehyun can recall ever being free is when he was seven years old. He smiled at the waves and ran in the sand, the sun beating down on him. He never liked the warmth but he felt bright and when his dad’s hands looped with him on their way back, Jaehyun remembers looking back at the setting sun, skin burnt and a seemingly perpetual smile carved on his face. He remembers feeling like he was invincible, knowing he had the sun above him and the sand below him, like nothing ever mattered as long as it was so.

It’s the complete opposite of what he feels now. He is exhausted. For the past eight years, he has tried and tried to protect the people around him. He expects honesty from them as any normal person would but when these people whom he obviously cares so much about don’t open up to him, all he wants to do is sink into the waves and let himself be washed away from the shore of civilization. His bones are weary, eyes hurting for so long that he no longer registers the pain, brain tired of all the calculations that it has to do with even the most mundane of tasks.

Jaehyun doesn’t blame Taeil or Donghyuck but he’s tired. He’s so damn tired of failing over and over.

“Jaehyun...”

Doyoung’s soft voice calls out. Strangely enough, it reminds him of his mother. Jaehyun shakes his head, face blank.

“It’s fine.”

What’s fine?

Who is he kidding?

Jaehyun sees Taeil stretch out an arm in hesitation in his direction but it never reaches him, the urge dying out in the delusional whispers of overthinking.

Jaehyun sighs.

His mind smiles preposterously. He almost wants to throw up at the sight of it.

Some part of him is secretly relieved.

The less he knows the better, it tells him.

He is certain that it is not how he is supposed to handle things now. He knows that Doyoung wants to ask him to be brave for once in his life but he can’t.

He is weak.

Always has been.

He is selfish.

Always has been.

No one except for a seemingly fragile boy ever understood. Jaehyun will make sure that no one else does but something tells him that everyone already knows.

Weak, Jaehyun. Always so weak in the face of the truth.

Jaehyun exhales deeply. His palms feel sticky as he twists the steering wheel to the right.

Breathe.

Just... Breathe.

 

***

 

Jaehyun sits in the car and stares at Doyoung, Ten and Taeil as they pick up things they need. He has a good view of them from where he has parked the car, waiting for them to get the necessities. The convenience store is relatively deserted, the only occupants being a teenager who seems to have camped in front of the chips rack and a man who squints at his phone as the cashier rings up his stuff. Jaehyun resists shaking his head when Doyoung and Ten start a staring match as they reach the cereal shelf.

His insides are a bit unsettled from Taeil’s warnings so he can’t help but eye the man who was staring at his phone as he looks back at the trio for longer than necessary. Jaehyun holds his breath for a moment. He counts to three and hears a car door slam shut as Johnny walks into the store, a fake smile splitting his face. The man gives Johnny a weird look but he acts like he doesn’t notice it, one of his hands snaking around Ten’s waist as the other yelps a bit before relaxing. Doyoung not-so-subtly stares at the man before looking worriedly at Johnny.

Jaehyun lets out the breath he was holding as the man mumbles something under his breath and walks out the door, a disgusted look on his face, his hands heavy with the bags. Jaehyun fists his hands knowing what exactly the stranger’s problem was.

Jaehyun sees Doyoung’s shoulders slump in relief as the man leaves. Taeil pats the taller quietly on his shoulder before walking to the counter.

Jaehyun sighs in relief at the gesture, grateful for the elder’s perception skills.

The sky is half-dead, a murky blue with sienna and tangerine bleeding in from the sunset waiting restlessly for its turn. Jaehyun drums an uneven rhythm on the steering wheel, eyes searching for nothing in particular, letting the tension ease off for a bit. His gaze finds its way to the reflection of the boy in the back seat. He feels his chest clench but he snaps out of it when Ten knocks on the window. Jaehyun flinches slightly but he rolls down the window anyway.

“Do you want something?”

Jaehyun shakes his head. He knows what he wants but he isn’t prepared for Doyoung’s lectures and driving in peace is a priority. He doesn’t want to worry about shitty brakes and elaborately plan a murder all at the same time.

The short man cocks his head and places his hand on the sill, taunting Jaehyun.

He thinks extra hard trying to keep temptation at bay but decides to fuck it anyway.

“Cigarettes.”

The ends of Ten’s kitten lips curve up as if he expected it. It’s a good thing Jaehyun knows the elder because otherwise the other would be sporting a black eye and a broken nose just for looking like a smug asshole. He can see Johnny speed-walking to the drinks rack to pick up Doyoung’s favourite, the intensity of the bunny-faced man’s glare lessening at the sight of his boyfriend grabbing a huge bottle of mountain dew.

Jaehyun sinks into the seat, watching as the Thai man saunters away. However, he suddenly remembers something else and hurriedly opens the door, following the other.

“Hyung, uh... chocolates.”

Ten turns around and coos at Jaehyun, making him grimace.

Jaehyun swallows his pride and clenches his fist, stomping back to his car, sighing at life. When he catches sight of the boy bundled up in Johnny’s favourite blankets, he swallows down the insults.

Anything for Donghyuck.

Anything.

He almost wants to ask Taeil again about what exactly is wrong. He wants to insist but the urge fades away in the plethora of questions his mind formulates in the next moments.

Excuses.

So many excuses.

The sun goes down. The world feels a little darker.

But he’s used to it.

 

***

 

Jaehyun stares at Donghyuck none-so-subtly as the other boy pokes around in his bowl, shoulders hunched and eyes hidden behind the veil of thick, black hair. He wonders what’s bothering the boy this much that he hasn’t even taken one bite of the dinner they had ordered.

Doyoung’s sighs don’t exactly help the situation and Jaehyun wants to gulp down the sea. His throat is parched but the glass of water looks unappealing. He wants Donghyuck to be okay. He knows he isn’t and it kills him that he doesn’t know, that Donghyuck is hiding things from him.

But he still doesn’t want to know. He’s a hypocrite.

Deep inside, his worst fear builds a castle and hangs chandeliers from its ceiling. Jaehyun’s nails bleed ceaselessly as he tears at the monument being made for his fear of people leaving.

What if Donghyuck is planning to leave him alone?

Jaehyun’s breath shakes. Johnny gives him an unreadable look.

Jaehyun’s foot comes down on the floor creating an erratic beat. He wants to stop fidgeting and focus on his food but it’s hard. He has lost his appetite and when he puts down the fork, it lands a bit more forceful than intended and everyone trains their gazes on him.

Except for Donghyuck.

“I can hear you think, Jaehyun. I will cryofreeze your ass.”

Johnny says it like he means it. He gulps down the noodle soup right after.

“Shouldn’t you be cryofreezing his head?”

Ten replies, voice serious. Johnny and Doyoung shake their head in unison.

It’s a good comeback, Jaehyun thinks but sadly he is not in the mood to praise the other’s wit.

“No fighting at the table, boys,” Taeil says, gaze focusing on Ten and Johnny.

Donghyuck looks up from the bowl, unaware of the interaction happening. When the corners of his lip quirk up, Jaehyun shatters into smithereens, smoke rising from the ashes.

Why is your precious Donghyuck fake-smiling at you, Jaehyun? The smoke whispers teasingly.

Jaehyun shudders.

He doesn’t try to smile back. Donghyuck notices.

Of course, he does.

He makes an attempt to smile better but Jaehyun doesn’t react, choosing to stay blank-faced as his eyes hook onto the way the other is pale, now more than ever, golden glow almost dead.

Donghyuck frowns and Jaehyun notices the oh-so-obvious eye bags, cheeks gaunter than what he is used to.

Realization is like a lake. Stagnant waters, motionless, even if not completely. If you ever drown, the waters won’t wash your body ashore like a river would, and so Jaehyun is left to rot in the hideous feeling that realization brings.

He has been blind all this time.

No, that’s not it.

He saw everything but ignorance is indeed bliss and Jaehyun is guilty of suffocating himself with it. Extremely so.

Jaehyun wants to carve out his heart and present it to the fading boy in front of him. But he can’t.

He wheezes as he breathes in, Doyoung’s head turning in worry towards him. He waves the questions away and half-sprints to the washroom, the sleep-deprived waiter glaring at how he almost shoulder-checked him. He sees Taeil placate Donghyuck, hand holding onto his wrist before he shuts the door behind him.

What he forgets is that shutting one door doesn’t necessarily shut the world out. Cars still whizz past the restaurant, water still drips from the faucet, pans still clank together in the kitchen and he still breathes. He wishes he could do the last one at his own will.

He swears to keep a keen eye on Donghyuck. He isn’t ready to lose another one. His heart cannot take it. It won’t be able to bear the complete emptiness that losing another would bring.

Self-preservation is a man’s first instinct and Jaehyun is only human.

Somewhere inside the chambers of his heart, he hears a deafening cry.

Jaehyun returns to his seat with his head bowed, Donghyuck having shifted seats to sit next to him. He can feel the other’s worried gaze settling on the side of his face. The boy’s hands search around for Jaehyun’s under the table and Jaehyun loops their fingers together as soon as he finds them.

Warm. He’s always so warm.

Jaehyun misses the scalding heat and freezing cold. But for now, he’s content with this innocent warmth.

Donghyuck doesn’t ask. Jaehyun doesn’t tell.

Doyoung takes a piece of meat and puts it in Donghyuck’s bowl, the younger sending a little smile at the elder and finally delving into his food, one hand still clasped firmly around Jaehyun’s sweaty ones.

Jaehyun’s stomach feels full even if he barely ate anything. The state of calm he is pulled back into doesn’t stay for long as he feels someone else’s gaze on him.

Johnny sits a little straighter, hand clenching around his chopsticks before he puts them down, taking a napkin and wiping the corner of his lip after. His eyes turn cold in an instant. Jaehyun doesn’t even have to turn to know that the group of three that just entered the diner aren’t normal customers.

Ten tenses up before sighing, the urge to turn and look reaching insurmountable amounts.

“Don’t look. They’re looking straight at us. We can pay the bill and walk away and they wouldn’t give a fuck. But if we look, it’s over. Ten, I need you to stare at Johnny and kiss him. Jaehyun and Doyoung, groan loudly as if you’re annoyed, okay? Donghyuck, don’t sign anything until we leave. Act like we’re just a bunch of friends hanging out and being annoyed with the couple.”

Taeil plasters a fake smile on his face as he says it, Donghyuck staring at his lips to make sure he doesn’t miss anything.

Johnny blurts out random, calculated things about the food. Doyoung contributes to the conversation as Ten stares lovingly at the taller man. Ten smiles as if completely love-struck, Johnny throwing him flirty looks and when Johnny turns to him with a smirk, he leans in and kisses him, the elder man’s hands cupping his neck possessively as they tilt their heads for a better angle. Jaehyun, Taeil and Doyoung groan in unison as per the plan, Donghyuck cringes before smiling widely, tilting his head to the side like a supportive brother. When they part, Taeil and Doyoung tease them naturally. A few seconds later, the gazes lift from their backs and Jaehyun sighs in relief.

As if it is some sign from the universe to make them get the fuck away as fast as possible, the waiter arrives with the bill just seconds later. Johnny takes out his wallet and puts the money in the holder, closing it after.

They get up together, walking at a normal pace even if the urge to run is too much. Jaehyun feels the trio’s gazes on their backs again when Donghyuck, in accordance with the shitty luck they have, twists his ankle and falls to the ground. One of the men gets up, seemingly to help him but Jaehyun pulls the younger up by locking his arms under his armpits before he reaches them.

The stranger stops in his tracks and looks at them, Doyoung smiling at him in hopes that they would look normal. The man smiles back in a strange manner as if his facial muscles aren’t used to the action. Knowing what he does, Jaehyun is certain that the stranger hasn’t had to face many situations where smiling was required.

The next thing Jaehyun sees is Donghyuck lifting his hands and signing “I’m fine”, the duo still seated at the table standing up suddenly, their chairs collapsing to the floor at the force. They point their guns at them and for a second, everyone freezes. The first man trains his gaze towards Johnny and Jaehyun watches as the other’s face displays the clear signs of recognition.

“Fucking hell, Myungsoo. It’s Johnny!”

His voice booms and Johnny pushes Taeil and Ten who are closest to him outside the door. Jaehyun hears the loud sounds of bullets pierce his eardrum as he holds Donghyuck tighter but time freezes again and the bullets clatter to the ground. He mentally thanks Doyoung’s quick reflexes.

“Over here, fucker!”

He hears an unfamiliar deep voice call out, Korean thick and strange sounding like Ten’s used to be a few years back. Regardless, he’s grateful for the distraction. Jaehyun scrambles outside the diner with Donghyuck as Johnny holds onto the back of Doyoung’s jacket and pulls him out in the time the trio are distracted by the voice.

They sprint to the car as the footsteps thud behind them, something they have grown familiar with. Jaehyun sees a blur next to them as he gets into the car, the door still open and an insistent pressure on the sleeve of his jacket before he blacks out.

 

***

 

Jaehyun regains some sense sometime later. He is lying on the floor, eyes opening to see white tube lights tinted slightly blue placed strategically on the ceiling. He sits up, head spinning and body feeling like it has been ripped through seven dimensions.

It is a familiar feeling. His blood races with adrenaline. It’s been so long.

Oh.

_Oh._

He gets up at record speed and ignores the throbbing in his temple which honestly feels like a drummer having a rave party inside it. He rubs at the bridge of his nose when he feels bile rising up his throat as he takes a step forward.

There was a time two years ago when he was unaffected by it but things had changed a lot since their bond was broken.

“Dude, listen to me. I need you to let me go, okay? I saved your ass.” The voice from before says, like they are attempting to tame a wild animal. If it wasn’t for the peculiar deep tone which was palpable when the man yelled to distract the trio before, Jaehyun wouldn’t have recognized the voice.

“Woah, woah.” The man says, heavy breathing audible. Jaehyun can hear something like confusion winding its way through the levels of it. As if in a last ditch effort, the stranger continues, “I saved the asses of your friends too. I swear they are alive and well. One of them is still lying on the ground so if you let me go, I will take him to my bed, okay? My bed is the best bed ever. Scratch that, it is literal heaven, man. Jungwoo hyung’s bed sucks. It is the bed in which scum of the earth sleeps on. This is a once-in-a-lifetime offer so let me go and you and your friend can sleep on it. Your friend hit his head when we got here. Let me go and I’ll patch him up. Fucking hell, man. COME ON DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK! I expect some gratitude in return...”

Jaehyun walks around his car as the stranger rants on about the pros of letting him go to a silent entity. He understands that whoever this guy is, he just single-handedly saved their lives so he knows that he has to help him out from whoever is threatening him. He finds it a little strange that no response comes from the other side until he finally understands what’s going on.

_Fuck._

Sure enough, he walks past the pillar Johnny’s car is parked next to, to see a blonde-haired, tall man standing with his legs comically wide apart, a knife held to his throat by Donghyuck from behind. The younger boy’s eyes are tinted red and swollen. His hand holds the handle of his knife in a death grip. Jaehyun wonders why the stranger, who is visibly well built and strong, isn’t doing anything to save himself except for running his mouth to a boy who is clearly willing to kill.

Jeahyun rarely sees Donghyuck like this, calm and calculated, like a predator ready to pounce. Every time he does, he pours white paint over the portrait of the golden-skinned boy in his head and starts all over again.

“Dude, help me out here. Sparkles is panicking.” The tall boy shouts out as soon as his gaze land on Jaehyun.

Jaehyun grimaces at the nickname and asks himself why he is being such a sloth today. Perhaps it’s because he knows that Donghyuck wouldn’t kill so easily. His head is extremely uncooperative and categorizes the sight in front of him as low priority but he looks at Donghyuck again and sees the raw panic painting his aura despite his stance telling a different story.

Donghyuck faces him and stares, eyes going wide in comprehension. Jaehyun shakes his head and calmly takes another step forward, opening his arms wide and gesturing with his right hand for Donghyuck to let the guy go.

The knife tumbles to the ground.

The stranger straightens up and rubs at his neck as Jaehyun hugs Donghyuck tight, letting him find safety in the warmth of his chest. He feels the other man’s stare on him as he presses a firm kiss on his soft hair.

“Oh.”

The stranger says.

Jaehyun doesn’t grace that with an answer as Donghyuck pulls away.

_”Do you know him, hyung? When I opened my eyes, he was carrying me and I panicked. He kept talking but I didn’t understand anything since he wasn’t facing me.”_

Jaehyun tries to figure out why Donghyuck didn’t recognize the man before he smacks himself internally for being a complete moron, for forgetting the crucial detail that Donghyuck hadn’t heard the other’s voice.

“Oh.”

The man says again, this time longer as Jaehyun gestures with his hands explaining to Donghyuck about what exactly happened at the diner.

“Fuck me. I didn’t realize that he was...”

The stranger says, genuine guilt colouring his deep voice.

“It’s fine. You didn’t have to but thank you for saving us.”

Jaehyun voices out loud knowing full well that they now owe the man their lives. He has the urge to ask the man where the others are and why he even cared to help them out but before he can, a softer voice echoes through what Jaehyun realizes is, indeed, a garage judging by the three cars parked next to theirs and wheels hanging on the walls. There are tools lying on the floor and a pile of damaged parts on the corner.

“Yukhei, where are you?”

The taller man perks up at the name Jaehyun assumes is his.

“Over here, hyung!”

His voice fills the garage and reverberates. Jaehyun’s ears ring, his temple protesting against the loud sound.

The door which presumably leads to the house opens wide as a man who looks just as tall as Jaehyun himself walks in, his face lighting up with a smile as he lays his gaze on _Yukhei._ It takes the newcomer a second to realize that he’s not alone but instead of a look of suspicion like he expects, Jaehyun receives a wider smile, the other’s eyes literally disappearing into crescents.

His heart scrambles back in horror as Taeyong’s smile fills the reel playing inside him. He misses him so much. He blanches at the sudden onslaught of images of his Half.

“Oh hey! It’s nice to meet you guys. I’m Jungwoo. This is Yukhei. Forgive his lack of manners and don’t panic, okay? You’re safe here.”

Jaehyun tries not to raise his eyebrow at the way Jungwoo waves at them like they are children. He feels someone intruding into his head the longer the man stares at him.

“Stop probing into my head.” You see, common courtesy isn’t your priority when a telepath steps into your head.

Jungwoo’s smile crumples and Jaehyun immediately regrets the tone he used. The guy must be untrained then, he concludes, not that it surprises him. His eyes follow Yukhei as the presumably younger man steps in front of Jungwoo, one hand pushing him behind him, the telepath disappearing behind the other’s much broader frame.

“Rule number 1, Mr Ungrateful Bastard, you never ever talk to Jungwoo hyung like that. I don’t care if you’re God but he’s outta limits. I will not stand by and watch you talk to him like that in front of me.”

Jaehyun feels his eyes go wide but he also feels trust forming deep inside. He has always been fond of the ones who don’t censor their words. Yukhei, Jaehyun’s gut tells him, lacks a filter.

Jaehyun marvels at the sheer possibilities.

“I’m sorry, Jaehyun-ssi.” He’s powerful, Jaehyun thinks at the other’s ability to get his name after just a couple of seconds. ”I’m still... practising. I can’t control it at times. I’m sorry about this giant here.”

Jungwoo’s soft voice compliments his looks. Jaehyun is reminded of his paradox of a Half. A man of contradictions. He forces himself out of the castle he built to keep Taeyong and sprints to reality with his bare feet.

“It’s fine. I’m sorry as well. I just... don’t like it when someone does that.”

Jaehyun facepalms mentally at the weak reasoning. No one likes when their head is invaded by a telepath, moron.

Jungwoo smiles understandingly, passing on the opportunity for a possible snarky remark.

Jaehyun turns to see Donghyuck sending death glares to Yukhei who stands expressionless. When their gazes meet, Yukhei smiles innocently at him as if he didn’t threaten Jaehyun just moments ago.

“Your friends are still unconscious by the way. Bunny face smacked me in the face when I was carrying him to the bed. But don’t worry, man. I forgave him. I’m a good kid. Woowoo hyung taught me manners.”

Jaehyun feels a smile come on at the way Yukhei phrases things. Something tells him that if Donghyuck were to hold a conversation with the other, it would end with the taller man in a chokehold on the floor.

“Sparkles over there looks like he needs some more sleep. You look like you need it too.”

Donghyuck glares at the taller man at the nickname. Jaehyun feels hesitation pile up inside him. They cannot afford to stay, considering the fact that the men in front of him are strangers despite the fact that they saved them without knowing anything about them.

“You don’t want to stay.”

Jungwoo states at seeing hesitation dance across Jaehyun’s face, shifting on his feet, a look of disappointment on his face. Yukhei’s eyebrows scrunch together. Jaehyun feels bad immediately.

“It’s just that... we don’t know you and while I am extremely grateful that you saved us, I have to consult the others before making a decision.” Jaehyun stutters out.

Words are hard. For a second, he wishes someone more eloquent than him had woken up first.

He feels Donghyuck’s scrutinizing gaze on his face. He probably cannot lip read due to his position beside him as he needs a front view to ensure accuracy. Jaehyun signs to him so that he doesn’t feel left out of the conversation.

“I understand, Jaehyun-ssi. But we insist that you take some rest, at least until the others wake up.” Jungwoo says.

Jaehyun knows that it is the most logical decision at the moment but he hesitates anyway, growing sceptical of his thoughts which deem the men in front of him incredibly trustworthy despite being mere acquaintances they just met. Donghyuck places an arm on his shoulder, face solemn as if giving him permission to choose whatever option, promising him that he’ll go along with it. Not that Donghyuck ever rebels against his decisions.

Before Jaehyun gets the chance to think a little more, he feels Jungwoo’s presence in his head again. He tries to phrase the next words in a non-offending manner but he doesn’t have to as he feels the telepath back off telling Jaehyun that it was just an accident.

“I’m sorry,” Jungwoo says before eyeing Donghyuck and sighing. “Jaehyun-ssi, if you would please.”

Jungwoo voices out after a pause, gesturing to the side, eyes wide as he looks at Donghyuck again. His gaze frantically flicks over Donghyuck for a moment longer before he walks away from Yukhei and Donghyuck, waiting for Jaehyun to follow. Jaehyun inwardly panics at the sight of the telepath’s faltering composure.

“Do you know what’s going on with him?”

Jaehyun blanches and shakes his head.

“I don’t. But... don’t tell me.”

Jungwoo looks straight at him with an expression of worry. Empathy must be hard, Jaehyun realizes.

“But you need to know, Jaehyun-ssi. He needs help and he needs rest.”

He says, sternly, voice dropping for the first time since Jaehyun met him.

“I want him to tell me. I don’t want to confront him and make him feel like shit.”

Jungwoo gazes at him helplessly. Jaehyun knows he sounds selfish and maybe he is, for trying to save himself from knowing.

“I understand but he’s... I don’t know how to say this. Please rest here for a while, he needs it too, maybe more than you do and please, talk to him. Ask him. He’s already thinking about telling you. He just needs that little push.”

Jaehyun pales as a hundred million reasons why Donghyuck needs help rushes in his direction. He feels stripped bare in front of the telepath. He is grateful for the fact that the man isn’t pushing him and had enough discretion to make sure Donghyuck didn’t see the conversation. Taeil’s words ring in his head.

He sends a nod in Jungwoo’s direction in acceptance of the hospitality and walks to Donghyuck, gaze drawn immediately to the way Yukhei glances at the youngest.

Jaehyun is about to grab Donghyuck’s hand when Jungwoo steps in front of the youngest.

“Donghyuck, does it hurt?”

Jungwoo asks, voice soft even if he knows that the youngest can’t hear him. The golden-skinned boy throws a look of shock to Jaehyun before looking back at Jungwoo.

Maybe it’s the expression on Jungwoo’s face but Jaehyun watches to his horror as Donghyuck shakes his head slowly in denial.

Why are you lying, Hyuck?

Jaehyun wonders if it’s because he doesn’t want him to know.

Jungwoo responds with what Jaehyun supposes is a sad but comforting smile and peers at Yukhei.

“They will stay, Yukhei. Please show them to your room. I need to go see someone.”

Jungwoo declares. Jaehyun doesn’t try to be subtle as he stares at his watch.

10:47 PM.

Why does Jungwoo need to go out so late?

Yukhei smiles at Jaehyun as if he’s wondering the same thing but walks to the door on the side of the garage with stairs leading to the house anyway. He pauses in his tracks as soon as Jaehyun and Donghyuck turn to follow him.

“Do you need me to come along, hyung? It’s been pretty bad out there.”

It might look like Yukhei just threw the question into the air as if he didn’t really mean to ask but Jaehyun senses the worry in the younger man’s voice and watches as Jungwoo’s eyes soften, a small smile making its way to his lips.

“It’s okay, Xuxi. I’ll be fine. I won’t take long.” Jungwoo promises, voice unimaginably soft.

Yukhei is Chinese, Jaehyun realizes as the soft syllables are voiced by Jungwoo. The thick accent covering up his Korean makes sense to Jaehyun at the realization. He hears an entire story behind this one name and before he drifts away into assumptions, Jaehyun stops himself. The way Jungwoo says it and the way Yukhei reacts to the name feels too intimate for Jaehyun to be hearing and seeing.

He watches Yukhei nod, his shoulders less tense than before. It makes sense for the other man to respond better to what Jaehyun assumes is his real name. Yukhei proceeds to walk up the stairs after a moment.

Jaehyun turns and glances at the telepath.

“Jungwoo-ssi, stay safe.”

Jungwoo smiles widely at Jaehyun, face twisting from worried to positively pleased.

For once, Jaehyun’s head doesn’t yell at him.

 

*** 

 

Jaehyun watches Donghyuck shift his weight nervously from one foot to the other as Yukhei goes to the kitchen to get them water.

He wants to ask how the youngest is feeling but he takes the safe route.

“You okay?”

He doesn’t ask “How are you” because of the chances of Donghyuck answering with the truth not that there’s much of a possibility of that happening. “You okay”, however, automatically assures a positive response.

Jaehyun plays dirty to save himself. A part of him sneers sinisterly.

Donghyuck nods, a small smile lifting the corners of his mouth, the lie clear on his face, unaware of the demons Jaehyun bowed to in order to get those two simple words out.

Jaehyun wonders how long he has been lying to his face. He wonders if Donghyuck ever let himself open up to him about his pain. It’s stupid to think about it now and it’s even stupider to pretend as if Donghyuck never told him things when he knows it isn’t like that.

However, it’s human nature to twist things to the one thing that is relevant at the moment. Someone died? Let’s make it seem like our entire life revolved around them. You love this artist? Let’s make it seem like you’ve never heard music from any other artist in your life. You’re in love? Let’s act like no one else exists. Someone is hiding something from you? Let’s pretend like they’ve never been honest to you even if they bared their heart and soul to you since the day they met you.

Donghyuck is only hiding one thing from Jaehyun and the others. Something the younger realizes would be a huge distraction to the gang. He is aware that it would potentially bring forth an avalanche that would ruin this fake peace, this cage of artificial normalcy that they have constructed with gas bills and month-long leases.

Jaehyun wants to shout out loud that that’s all it is. A fake cage. No matter how spacious it might seem or how long it looks like it would last, cages are meant to be broken or in this case, collapse to the ground and when it does, it would just be him and the gang who are left to pick up the pieces. Jaehyun has survived far too many wrecks but not without his own share of gaping holes and dripping crimson.

He cannot possibly survive another.

Which is why he mentally steels himself and promises that he would confront Donghyuck soon.

 _Soon_ really cannot come fast enough.

If only Taeyong was here. Jaehyun wishes hard, eyes growing misty at the sheer thought. He’s grateful that Donghyuck is staring at the ground now. He doesn’t want to burden the young boy anymore by breaking down in front of him and just like that, Jaehyun fixes the porcelain mask on his face, cracks be damned.

Yukhei had made them wait at the bottom of the stairs in the living room when he went to get water. Jaehyun had assumed that the other’s room was on the first floor. The living room is decorated with random paintings and flower vases all around, the paint, a warm auburn. The navy blue couch clashed terribly with the sienna-spectrum shade. There is a big, flat screen mounted on the wall in front of the couch. There are two game controllers and a remote on the couch, thrown haphazardly, a thin layer of dust covering them as if they haven’t been touched in a while.

Now that Jaehyun takes a look at the living room, it looks like no one has cleaned or even stepped foot in the area for at least a month or so. He frowns, head already supplying a thousand deductions, not every one pretty and perfect.

“I can hear you think from here.”

Yukhei’s voice breaks the dusty silence, Donghyuck turning and facing the boy as he sees Jaehyun tense and do the same.

“Is this your house?” Jaehyun really cannot stress enough on the “your” part.

Yukhei smiles.

“No.”

Jaehyun’s expression shifts within seconds. He feels Donghyuck tense beside him. Yukhei meets their gazes with a threatening one of his own.

“It’s not our house. You know why?” Yukhei takes a step forward. “Because it’s our home.” His glare shifts as he cracks a smile and steps back, eyes twinkling with mischief.

Jaehyun wants to knock the younger’s teeth out. He should probably invest in learning about timings to crack a joke.

But for now, he just shakes his head, patting Donghyuck once to make him loosen up.

“Did you plot my murder in your head? You guys are so fun to deal with. Was I scary?”

Jaehyun admits begrudgingly that the young teleporter does present quite an imposing and intimidating figure when he holds himself straight. He, however, doesn’t allow the other the pleasure of knowing as he turns and walks up the stairs.

“Dude, you don’t even know where my room is.”

Jaehyun sighs in frustration, stepping down again.

“Are you like this all the time?”

Yukhei gives him a shit-eating grin.

Jaehyun watches as Donghyuck sighs much like he did seconds before.

“Ooh, I am ruffling the feathers of Sparkles too!”

The grin gets wider as the teleporter claps his hands together in amusement. Jaehyun can tell that Donghyuck isn’t pleased with the way the boy fists his hands. Jaehyun silently wonders how the resident telepath deals with this 180 something hyperactive kid all on his own.

He changes the subject of conversation in hopes of getting the smug look off of his face.

“Why does it look like this?”

Yukhei looks around curiously for a moment before he understands what Jaehyun is asking about.

“We were not in town for a while. Got back just three days ago actually. We didn’t have time to clean up.” He pauses, eyes going wide as if some huge flashcard is waving inside his head. “Don’t tell me you’re a germaphobe. Please imagine that you are a computer and standby.”

Jaehyun’s head hurts at the other’s randomness. It’s like Yukhei’s brain lacks that part which makes connections between thoughts, choosing just to blurt out the first things on the tip of his tongue.

“It’s fine. Neither of us are germaphobes. Can we just go and see the others?” Jaehyun asks, exhaustion catching up to him which reminds him of the water the other boy had disappeared to procure. When asked about it, the reply he gets makes Donghyuck shake his head in tandem with Jaehyun’s shoulders slumping.

Yukhei smiles smugly and says, “Dude, did you legit think that I took this much time to get a bottle of water? My room was messy. I went to speed-clean. Hospitality and shit, man.” He makes what Jaehyun assumes is vacuuming noises, proceeding to press his hands together in a prayer and bowing to the duo like one would to welcome a tourist. It doesn’t take much time for the elder man to write him off as a lost cause.

The next moment, Yukhei disappears. Seconds later, Yukhei hands Jaehyun the water bottle, nodding seriously like a man who has just finished a top secret and high priority mission. Jaehyun takes two large gulps and hands it to Donghyuck, the younger shaking his head in rejection before giving in to thirst.

Yukhei turns away then and walks in the opposite direction they came in. Jaehyun sees a closed room, Yukhei opening it like a wild man on a food run. He pokes his head inside in complete contradiction to the ruckus he caused opening it.

“Everyone has clothes on. Come on in, boys.”

He tiptoes into the room, his hand doing a lazy gesture for them to follow.

Jaehyun rubs at his temples.

_”What is he even saying?”_

Donghyuck signs, total confusion conspicuous on his countenance.

Jaehyun shrugs, not having the energy to explain what this jumpy and tall ass boy is saying.

Donghyuck nods in understanding.

The curtains are drawn in the room and contrary to what Jaehyun had pictured before, Yukhei hadn’t shoved them into a corner. In fact, Doyoung is lying very close to Johnny on one bed, both of them in deep sleep while Taeil looks like he is dreaming next to Ten on the other bed, his eyeballs rolling under his lids. The room has a heater on too, the four of them warm and comfortable under the periwinkle covers.

Donghyuck squints at Ten and struts forward, bending down to look at the elder’s hand which has a bloody gash on it, nearly fully healed.

_”What happened to him?”_

Donghyuck glances at Yukhei as he signs it.

Jaehyun doesn’t translate as Yukhei shakes his head at him. It’s a clear question so Jaehyun assumes that Yukhei understood.

“I had to drag him to teleport with all of you together. There was no time for me to go back and get you guys. He was the farthest from me so when I dragged him, the handle of the motorcycle next to your cars scratched him. I planned on putting some medicine on it but it had already started healing by the time I put him to bed.”

Donghyuck nods and pulls the covers a little higher before turning away.

“I’ll show you to my room.”

It honestly gives Jaehyun whiplash when Yukhei switches between faces so quickly. It intimidates him a little too.

Yukhei’s unpredictability is daunting.

But something inside him trusts him, and for now, that is enough.

When they enter Yukhei’s room which is two doors past the one the others are resting in, Jaehyun feels a little off-kilter. The walls are navy blue, the ambience a lot darker than the vibe Yukhei gives off. The room is haphazardly clean. It is quite easy to figure out that someone was in a rush to tidy up.

Yukhei smiles sheepishly at them, drawing the duo’s attention to a pile of clothes which the tall boy proceeds to roll into a ball. He tries to shove it into his closet with great difficulty. Jaehyun feels a pull at the sleeves of his jacket just then and he veers to Donghyuck.

Donghyuck points to the wall on their other side with a look of surprise.

What he sees is a planning board of sorts with different coloured strings connecting the pieces of paper stuck to it with pins. Jaehyun’s gaze scans over the board in a hurry to understand what it is about.

“Yukhei, what is... are you looking for someone?”

Yukhei swivels around, chest slightly heaving from the battle with the massive clothes ball and frowns before realization dawns on him. He chuckles at the duo, the resulting sound a mix of his deep, loud and high voices all at the same time.

“Calm down, Dr Watson. I’m not looking for anyone. This,” Yukhei gestures at the board with his long arms, “is just one of Jungwoo hyung’s exercises for me to improve my focus. This one is a murder and heist. I have to find out who did what.”

Jungwoo’s not-so-subtle way of training Yukhei is quite clear to Jaehyun from how used Yukhei seems to have gotten to these “exercises”. He’s a telepath after all, so there must be a good reason why he asked someone like Yukhei to solve crime on boards.

Yukhei turns back to the closet again, torso almost entirely inside it as he presumably looks for something.

_"His handwriting is so neat."_

Donghyuck signs randomly and Jaehyun cannot help but agree with him.

“Jungwoo-ssi looks like he is the type to be tidy in everything. It makes sense.”

Donghyuck shrugs.

“What makes you say that?”

Yukhei asks, handing over two mauve sheets to the duo, eyes curious.

“The handwriting. Donghyuck just said that his handwriting is neat. Jungwoo-ssi gave you the clues, right?”

Yukhei snorts in response.

“Wow, people really don’t get me huh? It’s mine. I wrote the clues down. Hyung shows me the clues only once. I have to remember the clues and start from scratch. It’s sort of like a test.” Yukhei pauses, smile disappearing. “My head... memory to be exact... is under works you see.”

It takes a while for Donghyuck to comprehend the taller boy’s words but when it does, Jaehyun sees worry rise on his face. The way Yukhei purses his lips soon after, before he fixes the default smile on his countenance doesn’t skip Jaehyun’s notice. He was right. There is a story hidden behind this tall, wide-eyed boy.

They’re all Ables.

Of course, there is a story.

Yukhei wrecks the room searching for the remote controller to adjust the heating. Jaehyun watches in amusement as Donghyuck’s gaze follows the other as he walks around the room.

“Aha!” His loud voice booms, as he finds the object of his quest.

“Rest well, Jaehyun-ssi. You too, Sparkles. I’ll come get you when the others wake up. I’ll be in the dining room if you want me.”

Yukhei says, adjusting the heating as he does, proceeding to leave after smiling warmly.

“Yukhei,” He stops in his tracks as Jaehyun calls his name, “Call me hyung.”

It didn’t seem like it was possible but Yukhei’s mouth stretches even wider at the words. Jaehyun surprises himself with his own words but it feels good to trust someone. It’s way too fast but his instincts have never failed him. For once, Jaehyun is glad for saying the right thing.

_”Donghyuck.”_

The golden-skinned boy signs to Jaehyun reminding him that he hadn’t introduced himself to Yukhei before. Jaehyun wants to tell him that the Chinese boy probably already knows his name because of the conversation with Jungwoo in the garage but he doesn’t. Just as he is about to sign, Yukhei clears his throat.

 _”It’s nice to meet you, Donghyuck. But I prefer calling you Sparkles.”_ He signs.

Jaehyun and Donghyuck look at each other at the speed of light. Yukhei’s cackles resound in Jaehyun’s ears even as he closes the door.

Donghyuck sighs. Jaehyun follows right after.

_This boy._


	5. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did someone say double update?? (grins)

Yukhei is sitting at the dining table, head resting on his folded arms, half-awake when he hears someone’s muted footsteps approaching him. It’s been a couple of hours since he showed Jaehyun and Donghyuck to his room.

He wholeheartedly expects to see Jungwoo when he turns but it dawns on him that he never heard the door opening or the lock click. So his sceptical self cannot control the intensity of the glare when he turns back.

Donghyuck withers a little under Yukhei’s scrutinizing gaze. Yukhei scans him over before smiling a little, mind finally comprehending that the tan-skinned boy does not mean any harm.

_”Why are you up so late?”_

Yukhei is a little slow when he signs. He’s slightly rusty from not using sign language for the past few years.

His best friend is resting in a grave under a cherry blossom tree. People don’t need a language to speak to the dead.

Donghyuck shifts on his feet a little. Yukhei pats the chair next to him as he pushes it away from the table. The boy hesitates before sitting on it.

_”I can’t sleep.”_

Yukhei feels bad for the younger. He really does. Judging from Jungwoo’s reaction in the garage and how he asked Yukhei to keep an eye on him when he saw him first, Yukhei knows that something is terribly wrong.

The younger boy’s face is pale in the dim ambient lighting coming from the lamp in the corner. There’s a frown on his face, his eyebrows scrunched together, like his thoughts are at war. Yukhei lets his gaze focus on Donghyuck. He stops when the boy squirms in his seat, seemingly uncomfortable.

_”You’re staring.”_

Yukhei smiles slowly.

_”Well, you’re a pretty thing.”_

Yukhei isn’t lying. Donghyuck is beautiful. Not in the way Jungwoo or that cashier in the grocery store is but he is. It pulls at the strings of his heart a little; he is slightly thrown off guard.

Donghyuck glares at him even in his exhausted state. Yukhei can't help but be amused.

 _”Stop mocking me.”_  Donghyuck’s ability to convey anger through his signs is unparalleled and Yukhei gets a glimpse of it then.

What Yukhei asks next is signed with the utmost sincerity.

_”What makes you think I’m mocking you?”_

He hopes his face conveys the sincerity.

Apparently, it doesn’t.

 _”Your face. It’s...”_  Yukhei watches Donghyuck pause in his signing and take a deep breath as if struggling to find the right words,  _“... stupid.”_

Yukhei doesn’t back down. He’s a competitive ass. Fight him.

 _”Well, that was eloquent.”_  Yukhei snorts even if he knows that Donghyuck cannot hear it.

Donghyuck gives him the middle finger. He snorts again.

_”Now, is that any way to talk to someone who saved your life just a few hours ago, Sparkles?”_

Donghyuck smirks at him, finally letting the expressionless facade break for a moment. Even when he is smirking, his posture screams tension, as if he is being stretched thin in two directions by some unseen, malicious force.

Yukhei, despite all the staring he indulges himself in, still can’t figure why the boy is perpetually tense. He wonders if he is in pain or if it is something else. He is pulled away from that train of thought when Donghyuck signs again.

_”We’re not exactly talking, are we? Joke’s on you.”_

Donghyuck gets up then, moving the chair with his legs as he does so.

Gravity isn’t Donghyuck’s best bitch.

Yukhei sees the fall coming and in the next moment, he’s holding Donghyuck with an arm around his waist.

Teleporting is pretty convenient, indeed.

“Woah, woah. Easy.”

He says, Donghyuck’s eyes focusing on his lips to understand what he is saying even as he sways before finally relaxing against him.

Donghyuck is scarily light against him, eyes focusing and closing intermittently. He finds it hard to believe that this petite boy is the one who held a knife against his neck just a few hours ago, certainty in his veins and intimidation clear in his gaze. He contemplates letting the boy sit on the chair but he is scared that in the time he takes to get water, Donghyuck might fall over.

Yukhei half-hauls, half-carries Donghyuck to the couch, certain that the other would protest despite being weak if he carried him. He takes the fluffiest pillow with his one hand which is not holding Donghyuck and places it on the edge of the couch. When he tries to lower him down to the couch’s level, Donghyuck whines, a little noise from the back of his mouth.

He stills and turns to look at Donghyuck. It’s an awkward position so he lowers him to the couch anyway watching the younger boy slump against the backrest like a wilting flower. The other boy opens his eyes with effort and the next thing he signs messily makes Yukhei chuckle, a part of his heart illogically fond.

_”It’s dirty.”_

Yukhei shakes his head, rolling his eyes a little.

Of course, he is concerned about the cleanliness of the couch.

Of-fucking-course.

_”No, it isn’t. I cleaned up when you guys were sleeping.”_

Donghyuck nods and closes his eyes right after Yukhei finishes signing.

Drops of sweat crawl down Donghyuck’s face and neck into his black and red, long-sleeved t-shirt. Yukhei stares at him for a moment longer and speed-walks to the kitchen to get water for the boy.

Yukhei switches on the main light in the living room before he comes around the couch. Donghyuck is leaning forward on the couch, head lowered to the ground, both his hands under his face. Yukhei sniffs the air out of instinct and immediately kneels in front of the tan-skinned boy.

Dread and anxiety call to him, creeping on the ground he stands on.

He kneels on one knee next to Donghyuck and places the water bottle on the ground. He tries to keep the reluctance away when he softly lifts Donghyuck’s head despite the other’s weak attempts to not let him see his face.

When he does lift it, however, Yukhei can’t help the way his eyes widen in horror.

Blood.

A lot of blood is steadily flowing from his nose, a small puddle already visible on the floor. The smell of iron is thick in the air. Yukhei nearly flinches back but stops himself.

“Sparkles...”

He breathes out, the sight making his heart lurch. Donghyuck doesn’t respond, blood dripping down from the gaps between his fingers into his jeans.

Yukhei contemplates going upstairs to get a towel but foregoes the decision in favour of stripping himself off the plaid shirt he is wearing on top of a t-shirt, coaxing Donghyuck into holding it under his nose. Yukhei takes a deep breath when the boy finally grabs the shirt with trembling hands painted crimson.

Something inside him is shaken. It feels like it is whispering that the boy in front of him doesn't deserve this pain. The terrible feeling pulls and pulls at him, opening old wounds.

Yukhei suddenly finds himself back in that place where he wasn't sure if he could ever save Jungwoo. But he needs a hold on reality so he tries to be positive and reminds himself that he had succeeded even if he had to pay a price for it.

He teleports right after, trying to draw that clear line which can distinguish between the past and the present. He gets some towels from upstairs and returns within a sum of few seconds. When he extends one to Donghyuck, the other takes it from him and places it on the couch, a small patch of red on it.

Yukhei gives him a look as he had been certain that the other would prefer a towel instead of a sweaty shirt.

It is unsanitary, extremely so, now that he thinks about it. Jungwoo would probably smack him in the head but he ignores thoughts about hygiene in favour of watching Donghyuck with keen eyes.

The silence that follows in the next few minutes is nerve-wracking. Yukhei has a lot of questions. He wants to go to Jaehyun and wake him up but something inside him or maybe it’s the look that Yukhei gets when he eyes the direction of the room Jaehyun is resting in, whatever it might be, it stops him from moving away from the boy.

Yukhei watches in horror as deep scarlet cascades from Donghyuck’s left ear the more he looks at him. He hasn’t even registered it. The taller boy doesn’t let himself overthink as he takes a towel from the pile he brought, holding it against Donghyuck’s ear with his right hand.

The boy’s eyes flick to him. Yukhei nods to reassure him that it’s fine.

He can’t help but wonder how long Donghyuck has been suffering like this without letting anyone know. He wonders if he is in constant pain. He wonders if he has figured out what's really happening.

Yukhei hasn’t even known him for a day and he wants to protect him, shield him against anything and everything that threatens Donghyuck’s existence in the slightest of ways. So it does not require rocket science to figure out how Jaehyun or anyone in their gang would react if they came to know. He pales a little at the sheer volume of things that could be potentially wrong. He finally understands why Jungwoo looked so concerned.

Donghyuck slowly moves the shirt away from his face, his nose no longer bleeding. Yukhei moves the cloth in his grip from his ear to see that the bleeding from his ears has stopped as well.

He takes a clean towel and wipes Donghyuck’s chin with it, the boy startlingly still as he lets him. Yukhei’s head tells him that he should have asked for permission first but he doesn’t pay it any heed considering the fact that Donghyuck let him do it anyway.

He doesn't live in the past. Never has. Never will.

”Come on, Sparkles. Let’s go clean you up.”

Yukhei says, holding out his hand just in case Donghyuck needs the support. Donghyuck being the independent boy that he is, ignores the hand being held out and gets up on his own, taking two steps before stumbling. Yukhei is immediately there to help him, already certain that the other wouldn’t make it too far.

His persistence amazes Yukhei. Yukhei would ask him to just let it go but Donghyuck, to him, seems like someone who needs to see and experience things before accepting them so he just keeps his mouth shut.

The younger hesitates a little, stubborn even when his feet are betraying his real condition before he relaxes against Yukhei’s chest.

It’s easier than the previous time to help Donghyuck to the bathroom, probably because the boy doesn’t make any sounds of protest and just lets Yukhei half-carry, half-drag him to the destination.

Donghyuck trots slowly to the sink and stands with his hands firmly holding on to the marble, transferring the portion of his weight which his feet can’t handle to his hands. Yukhei leans back on the wall behind him, still keeping a watchful eye on the boy, not wanting Donghyuck to fall down and crack open his skull.

He also doesn’t want five very pissed off Ables chasing him around till the end of eternity for watching their dongsaeng fall to his death.

No thank you.

When Yukhei snaps himself back to reality, Donghyuck has shifted positions a bit, supporting himself on the counter with one hand instead of two, using his other hand to wash his face. He sways a little before he finds his balance. Yukhei straightens up and waits for the boy to finish rinsing his face.

Donghyuck turns to him after, face not a bloody mess anymore but paler than before. It’s normal and quite sincerely, something Yukhei saw coming. He had lost quite a large amount of blood after all. Yukhei can’t help but wonder about how often this happens and if it is this bad always, because then, even if Donghyuck isn’t on board, Yukhei will be forced to tell Jaehyun the truth.

Blood loss can kill people just as well as a bullet wound or explosion could.

The younger stares at him for a little longer, posture that of someone who has been exhausted for a while. He meets his gaze head on because it seems like he is gauging Yukhei and who he is and he’d be damned if he let his image be that of a man who can’t even stare someone down.

_”Thank you.”_

Donghyuck signs, at last, taking Yukhei by surprise.

He figures that this is as good an opportunity to ask him about the questions that had sprung up in his head in the time he waited. But Donghyuck is more intuitive than Yukhei gave him credit for initially.

_”I know you have questions but your living room looks like a crime scene now.”_

Yukhei can’t argue with logic so he nods, a bit wary as Donghyuck slowly walks outside. He makes sure to stay close to him so that he is there if he collapses again.

Yukhei makes a detour to the kitchen to get a plastic basin and floor cleaner. Donghyuck follows him wordlessly but hey, that's to be expected. It's like the younger is accustomed to a life of silence, even his footsteps muted as he trots behind him, the only thing that alerts Yukhei of his presence being the wavering breathing coming from the boy.

The teleporter bends down to pick up the bloody shirt which Donghyuck dropped on the floor as they reach the living room. Donghyuck's hand grabs his wrist to stop him. It's a frail grip, nothing like the way he held the knife like his life depended on it. Nothing that could actually stop him if he wanted to go ahead but he halts anyway. It takes a second for Yukhei to register why the boy doesn't want him to pick it up.

 _”Sparkles, it's just blood.”_  Yukhei signs, an incredulous expression on his face.

Donghyuck's reluctance is crystal clear in the tired angles and curves of his face.

Yukhei waits for a sign of approval.

He doesn't get it because Donghyuck bends down then, picking up the shirt, slowly shuffling to the bathroom, presumably to clean it. Yukhei doesn't try to stop him. He contemplates following him again but he is certain that Donghyuck needs some space even if all Yukhei can give is a few minutes. He doesn’t let his indecision show on his face.

Yukhei remembers a time when he used to throw up at the sight of blood. It doesn't faze him much now. He dips the sponge in the water and starts cleaning the small puddle of blood on the floor.

He feels like he is wiping Donghyuck away with every motion. It feels terrible.

When Donghyuck returns, he stares at Yukhei before sitting on the other end of the couch. Yukhei doesn't lift his gaze away from where it had settled on the TV mounted on the wall, waiting for the younger boy to initiate the conversation first even if his mind screams at him to talk, not used to such thick silences where danger is the only thing that seems to loom over their heads.

Donghyuck doesn't look as uncomfortable as he had looked when he sat next to him at the dining table. That, in addition, to the fact that he chose to sit on the couch despite the single recliners on either side of the couch gives Yukhei hope.

Yukhei counts that as a win.

_”Since when?”_

The teleporter signs, unable to stop fidgeting at his ignorance. Donghyuck sighs. Yukhei hears the pain in it and he feels a headache come on.

 _”Three months?”_  Donghyuck pauses, looking genuinely unsure.  _”Less than three maybe. It hasn't been very long.”_

A part of Yukhei, despite not knowing anything about Donghyuck feels relieved as he realizes that he hasn't been hurting for very long but then the eerie whispers in his head tell him that three months is long for someone who is constantly trying to hide and run at the same time.

He feels stupid.

 _”Three months is a long time.”_  He signs.

 _”Not that long.”_  Donghyuck is adamant. Yukhei is fighting a losing battle.

Yukhei sighs and leans forward, the side of his torso protesting against the movement.

“Have you considered the possibility that you might be dying as we speak?”

Donghyuck's silence is deafening to Yukhei as he flicks his gaze between the boy's face and hands, waiting for a sign, literally.

_“That's a little dramatic, don't you think?”_

Yukhei feels a little lost. Talking to Donghyuck is like an unstoppable force attempting to battle against an immovable object. It's incredibly frustrating and equally worrying.

_“Dramatic? My best friend was pyrokinetic. He burned to death right in front of me because he was overconfident with his powers. My mom was telekinetic. She died trying to use her power to stop a building from collapsing. I think I’m justified if I am a little dramatic, Sparkles.”_

Yukhei signs it in a matter of fact manner, not wanting Donghyuck to think he is guilt tripping him.

Talking to Donghyuck about Hyunjin and his mom is extremely difficult but Yukhei wants the boy in front of him to know that he just might be underestimating what's going on. Yukhei's first guess about what is happening is not something that he has ever seen resolve on its own. For the second time today, he wants to get Jaehyun, the elder’s sleep be damned.

Donghyuck’s eyes are wide but Yukhei is no stranger to the way they soften a little. He doesn’t want sympathy and he says so.

_”I don’t want you to feel bad for me, Sparkles. I’m trying to make a point here. If the courts here actually worked, I could potentially end up in Guantanamo Bay for being an accomplice to suicide.”_

Yes. Yukhei would stoop to petty humour to get something, anything out of the boy. He feels a wave of calm rise inside him as Donghyuck lets the edges of his lips curve up.

_”But the courts here don’t work.”_

Why is he awake at 3 AM on a Friday night talking to a boy who somehow manages to be the sassiest little shit ever even after bleeding out for some significant minutes and who doesn’t even need his voice to complement his wit?

Why are trashes like Yukhei alive when geniuses like Donghyuck can level people like him to the ground by just blinking?

_”You’re a genius, did you know that?”_

Donghyuck raises an eyebrow at him. Yukhei fails at life, honestly. Where is Woowoo hyung when he needed him?

Yukhei meets the other’s gaze dead on. What brings his hyperactive brain back to the point is the way Donghyuck tenses in pain, eyelids shutting tight, his hands fisting in response immediately as if it is a reflex.

”Sparkles?”

Yukhei calls out, amusement fading as he moves closer to Donghyuck, hand hovering close to Donghyuck’s.

Donghyuck doesn’t look at him. When his breath wavers audibly, Yukhei reaches out and loops his fingers with Donghyuck’s.

Donghyuck gives him a strange look as he does so but doesn’t reject the gesture, body going almost limp against the couch, hand squeezing Yukhei’s with every wave of pain. Yukhei tries to smooth his thumb over the boy’s hands, brain immediately blanking out on him, leaving him with a hurting boy and his panicking self.

A few minutes later, the grip loosens.

Yukhei’s hand protests as the golden-skinned boy’s fingers slip away.

_”Thanks.”_

Yukhei wants him to stop thanking him. He cannot accept gratitude for things like this when he knows that a part of him can do bigger things to help him out. Letting the others know is the number one on that list.

_”You need to talk to your hyung.”_

Donghyuck stares at his hands, nodding after a delayed moment.

Yukhei sighs as he leans back against the couch.

_”Tell him or I will.”_

Donghyuck smiles. Yukhei doesn’t quite understand the reason behind it. He doesn’t understand why Donghyuck looks like he might just trust him.

Yukhei is lost in creating several, baseless hypotheses when he notices the way Donghyuck is trying to stop himself from falling asleep. Just as Yukhei is about to ask him to sleep, Donghyuck signs an apology.

”For what?”

He says it out loud, Donghyuck’s gaze fixating on his lips as soon as he opens his mouth. It sends chills down his spine. He’s not used to cute boys staring at his lips every now and then, okay? Give him a break.

Donghyuck mimics holding a knife and does a slicing motion, looking sheepish. His face is still exhausted but he’s less tense and that coupled with the fact that he’s apologizing for their first meeting brings a smile on the teleporter’s face.

_”Look at you learning manners. Good boy, Sparkles.”_

Donghyuck frowns at him.

_”I’m not a dog.”_

Yukhei snorts.

 _”I’m aware.”_  He signs, stopping for a minute and letting his expression morph into a wider smile.  _”You should go sleep. Goodnight, Sparkles. Your secret is safe with me.”_

Donghyuck gets up then, still a little shaky on his feet but not as concerning as before.

_”When will you sleep?”_

“I am gonna wait up for Jungwoo hyung. In case neither of us is here when the others wake up, let them know that I went to get Jungwoo hyung. Our numbers are there on the refrigerator door.”

Donghyuck nods, distress suddenly painting over his exhausted features. Yukhei is captivated.

Donghyuck shuffles to Yukhei’s room, Yukhei’s stare fixed on his back. He stops a few feet away, turning slowly to face the teleporter. That grabs Yukhei’s attention quickly. He raises an eyebrow in perfect imitation just like Donghyuck did a few minutes ago.

 _”I’m sorry about your friend and your mom.”_  Donghyuck looks straight at Yukhei as he signs it, slowly and carefully, trying to emote the best he can with his hands, making up for what he can’t with that look in his eyes. _”Goodnight.”_

Yukhei has always been proud of himself for being unpredictable, for being able to take people’s impressions about him and turn it around with just one calculated glance but looking at this boy with the tired eyes, this seemingly weak Able with silence as his best friend and a gang of protective hyungs breathing down his shoulder in the best possible way, he realizes that there’s more to the world than just Jungwoo and him.

There’s so much more.

And on that night, when Yukhei gets a text from Jungwoo asking him to go pick him up, he is still thinking about the way Donghyuck’s hands fit with his and the way he held a knife to his throat with the same limb.

That night, Yukhei might have entered his room in the guise of getting a coat. Yukhei might have seen a certain, petite boy curled up against Jaehyun’s chest, the same offending limb folded into a fist.

Yukhei might have squealed a bit internally.

Yukhei might have let thoughts of Donghyuck plague him on his way to get Jungwoo.

Yukhei might also have thought of the best way to break Donghyuck’s situation to Jaehyun but he might have stopped because he valued Donghyuck’s trust more than the truth.

Donghyuck’s smile when he threatened him saying that he’ll tell Jaehyun replays in his head.

Lesser beings like Wong Yukhei really do not deserve to even breathe the same air as Donghyuck, do they?

Somewhere from between the atoms of the universe, Yukhei hears a sound of confirmation.

 

***

 

Jaehyun wakes up with a gasp, images of a wayward, scarlet-shaded dream making his stomach churn. He immediately lies back down as he comprehends the presence of a certain boy’s head on his chest. He tries his best to stabilize his breathing but it’s a lost cause as Donghyuck groans involuntarily.

It’s a little noise from the back of his throat but it makes Jaehyun stop completely.

He really doesn’t want the other boy to wake up, especially because he knows how little sleep he has been getting for the past few months. He tries breathing consciously but when Donghyuck tilts his head up and stares at him with groggy eyes, he breaks down.

Donghyuck taps on his chest twice to get Jaehyun’s breathing to stabilize but it doesn’t work as his vision swims from the impact of the dream. Jaehyun feels the other boy grope around for his hands, looping their fingers together when he finds them.

He loosens and tightens his grip on Jaehyun’s hand as he inhales and exhales, pleading for him to follow with his red-rimmed eyes.

Jaehyun, breathe in. Breathe out. He tells himself.

It doesn’t take too long for him to snap out of it. Donghyuck still doesn’t move away from him, resting his head on his chest, eyes closed but hands relaxing and tightening with Jaehyun’s now regulated breathing.

Jaehyun sits up, wiping a hand over his face. Donghyuck gets up too, hair messy and face swollen, paler than he had been yesterday, the look in his eyes speaking of a kind of exhaustion that stemmed from more than just group teleportation.

 _”Bad dream?”_  Donghyuck signs.

Nightmare, Jaehyun wants to say but he stops himself, nodding instead.

_”About what?”_

Jaehyun faces Donghyuck, letting his gaze skim over the other’s features. The thick, midnight blue curtains are drawn so sunlight doesn’t leak into the room. Even then, the dull, yellowish light coming from the bedside lamp is enough for Jaehyun to see his face clearly.

_”You. Him.”_

Jaehyun doesn’t elaborate, every blink replaying pictures of a faceless knife slicing every vein in Taeyong’s wrist, the other’s body tied to a table, screams tearing his vocal cords beyond repair. He doesn’t talk about how Donghyuck comes sprinting into the room only for another man to grab him and pierce something through his stomach. He blinks and Donghyuck is spitting blood on the ground, one hand covering the wound on his stomach and the other bloody one reaching out for a screaming Taeyong.

He blinks again and he’s back to reality, Donghyuck’s eyebrows knitted together in worry as he stares at Jaehyun with a look that hollers concern. Jaehyun lets a small smile spread on his face. He pokes the other between his eyebrows to get him to stop frowning.

Jaehyun gets up and walks to the bathroom, taking a deep breath as he closes the door. He finishes his business and washes his hands.

When he stares at his reflection in the mirror, he sees disdain of some kind. His mouth tastes bitter. He simply shakes his head and walks out, letting Donghyuck know that he’s done.

When Donghyuck is done freshening up, the pair shuffles out of Yukhei’s room.

Jaehyun halts when his eyes land on the digital clock on the wall in the living room.

9:37 AM.

It had been a while since Jaehyun or the gang had slept so well in a stranger’s place. It amazes him that they had felt comfortable enough to even close their eyes, much less sleep for hours.

Something tells him that Donghyuck hadn’t slept very well even if he was right next to him when he woke up.

There’s not much time to dwell on that as he turns his head to see Johnny and Taeil sitting in the chairs next to the dining table, Doyoung poking around in the kitchen with Jungwoo.

Donghyuck gives him a puzzled look.

Jaehyun clears his throat making everyone stop what they were doing and turn to face him.

“Oh, Jaehyun-ssi, you’re awake.”

Jungwoo says, face slightly swollen from exhaustion but smile just as bright as it was yesterday.

“Jungwoo, just call him hyung.”

Jaehyun throws an offending look at Johnny who yawns at him right after. Jungwoo looks like a confused puppy and that is when what Johnny said dawns on him.

“Hold up. He’s younger than me?”

Johnny nods absent-mindedly as if saying he has no fucks left to be given.

Jaehyun doesn’t understand how they’re all so fine and dandy with just chilling in some stranger’s dining room and kitchen like this. Jungwoo decides to do him an uninvited favour.

“Jaehy... I mean... Hyung, we’re not exactly strangers.”

No shit, Sherlock.

Jaehyun throws the telepath a glare for poking around on his head but he doesn’t mean any heat behind it. Jungwoo cowers under his gaze.

“But how?”

Doyoung snorts from where he is whisking something in a bowl.

“Taeil hyung helped Jungwoo a few years back. Remember that one time he and Johnny hyung had to go to Mokpo to help two Ables out? Baekhyun hyung called them, remember? It was Jungwoo and Yukhei.”

Jaehyun scrambles through his memories before he finds it. He does remember. It was three years ago. When Taeyong was still here. He remembers Baekhyun’s panicked call asking some of them to get to Mokpo as soon as possible to help someone out. Johnny and Taeil hadn’t even blinked an eye, leaving in the middle of the night, understandably distressed yet wanting to help in every way they could. He remembers Taeil looking especially worried for days after their return.

Jaehyun hadn’t been as close to Taeil then so he hadn’t asked why.

He wonders why Jungwoo hadn’t told them about this when he talked to them yesterday but the more he thinks about it, the more it made sense to him.

Jaehyun probably would have knocked them out and ran away with the gang.

Trust is hard to gain. It was a good call on the telepath’s part.

He nods and settles down on a chair, pulling one out for Donghyuck too which the other refuses as he walks to the kitchen. He watches as the youngest lifts the bowl which Doyoung was working on and sniffs it, seemingly satisfied with whatever is in it.

“Where’s Ten hyung?”

Jaehyun asks, noticing the man’s absence.

“He’s taking a shower,” Johnny says, sparing him a thoughtful glance before resuming tapping on the dining table in that way he does when he’s worried or nervous about something.

Jaehyun doesn’t push, knowing that the other is trying to come down from some mind palace he had created with whatever events had conspired yesterday. All Johnny really needs, Jaehyun realizes, is a trench coat to become the next Sherlock Holmes.

He already has two Watsons to support and rebuke his arguments when all’s said and done anyway.

A few minutes later, Jungwoo puts a plate of sliced up fruits on the table, followed by plates of toast and pancakes. Donghyuck positions a jug of coffee and juice in front of Jaehyun, settling down next to him, eyes slightly brighter than when he woke up.

Food never did fail in improving Donghyuck’s mood. That hasn’t changed even after all these years.

He takes a sip of freshly brewed coffee from the medicine yellow ceramic mug.

Jaehyun feels someone smack him on the back of his head effectively making his lip hit the rim of the mug. He twists around with a murderous look, lip throbbing in pain, only to get flicked on his forehead by Ten.

Johnny and Taeil snort from their seats opposite him. Ten smiles angelically at him and rounds the table to sit next to Doyoung.

Ten feeds Johnny a slice of apple, leaning past Doyoung. The man pouts at Johnny then, batting his eyelashes, making the elder swallow half of the slice, feeding the half-bitten piece to Doyoung.

Doyoung pokes his tongue out at Ten, a smug smile taking residence on his face, making the Thai-man glare at him.

Children. He’s friends with children.

Jaehyun catches Donghyuck looking around the table, stretching his neck out none-so-subtly to look in the living room and dining room as if in search of someone.

“Yukhei is sleeping, Donghyuck. He... He’s tired.” Jungwoo says, a knowing look on his sleep-rumpled face.

Jaehyun doesn’t miss the way worry creeps on Donghyuck’s face at Jungwoo’s words. He also doesn’t miss the way everyone seems to notice the same thing he did.

Interesting.

“He could have teleported just us. Did he have to be extra and teleport our cars too?”

Johnny asks. Jaehyun finds the question relevant since he had wondered about the same thing the day before.

“It’s Yukhei, hyung. Extra is his middle name.”

Jungwoo explains, smile fond but there’s something in his eyes that is veiled by the smile. Jaehyun has seen too many fake smiles to not recognize one when he sees it.

Taeil clears his throat, putting the juice glass on the table.

“He needs to stop pushing himself. His body won’t take it for long. Teleporting yourself is one thing. Teleporting 5 people other than yourself is another. But teleporting shitton of metal is an entirely different story.” The Listener states, never one to shy away from pointing out things that need to be noticed.

Jaehyun feels Donghyuck stare at Taeil, as if measuring his words for what it’s worth. Taeil’s words displace some things inside Jaehyun, like organizing a room in a seemingly constant state of disarray, only to realize that there was only one thing which had been the source of the messy feeling. He shifts in his seat, waiting for the Listener to deliver that one-hit blow which will essentially put everything in perspective for him.

Taeil has always been unforgiving in matters of truth and memory.

“Do you remember Yeosu, Jaehyun?”

There it is.

Even if he expects it, Jaehyun cannot help the way his eyes go wide at the mention of the place. They had been on the run from a local rebel force. He remembers teleporting all of them and Taeyong along with their cars. He remembers the two-week-long coma he had landed himself in, having teleported a chunk of the street they were in along with all the gang and their cars due to a fatal miscalculation.

It was a terrible time for all of them, not knowing whether he would ever wake up. Taeyong had never left his side. Donghyuck had cried for days.

Recovery was extremely difficult. The more he thinks about how awful it was, the greater the urge to check on Yukhei becomes.

“Hyung, I need to check on him.”

Jaehyun declares, pushing away the chair with the back of his knees as he gets up to speed-walk to the boy’s room.

Jungwoo gets up to follow.

“No, you stay here.” Jaehyun hopes that he conveys how much Jungwoo is unwelcome to this conversation. Fuck courtesy.

The telepath promptly sits down. Jaehyun knows that Jungwoo is aware of the consequences. He also knows that having him, a teleporter who has been through hell actually acknowledge the telepath’s worries must look like a huge, neon flag waving right in front of his face.

Jungwoo’s face falls. Donghyuck squirms in his seat as if feeling divided about whether to follow or not. Jaehyun acts like he doesn’t see it.

When Jaehyun knocks on Yukhei’s door, the door swings inward. Jaehyun sees Yukhei pull his shirt down in a hurry. His posture screams something that Jaehyun has experienced a million times before and so, he doesn’t beat around the bush.

Yukhei’s fake ass smile makes him want to smack the boy for playing this foolish game of pretend when his life is at stake.

Jaehyun isn’t even being dramatic.

“Are you bruised?”

Yukhei’s smile falls at the words. Jaehyun tries to keep the anger out of his voice.

“A bit.” He admits, resigned. “Hyung, how do you know?”

Jaehyun shakes his head and successfully ignores the fact that Yukhei just called him “hyung”.

Of course, he doesn’t know. Jaehyun hadn’t told him after all.

“I am a teleporter too, you brat. Of course, I know.”

He resists the urge to go back and correct the tense.

Yukhei gawks a little, shock dawning on his face. His mouth opens as if he is about to say something but he shuts it the next moment, choosing to stare at the ground.

“Did you bleed? Nose? Ears?”

Yukhei snaps his head up at that, something inside Jaehyun saying that there’s a reason behind it other than just him. He feels unsettled at the thought.

“I had a nosebleed after we reached here. It’s fine, man. It happens when I push too hard.”

Jaehyun feels anger course through his veins at the sheer ease at which Yukhei says it, the younger’s left hand involuntarily pressing against his torso. Jaehyun knows what’s up.

“Don’t man me, Yukhei. Do you even realize the extent of damage you are doing to yourself? Fucking hell, I didn’t even register the fact that you teleported with five people and two cars.” Jaehyun huffs out, eyes closing as he lets his chest heave in the aftermath of the angry rant.

He’s guilty of being absent-minded the day before. He should have asked if the boy was feeling unwell when they were talking. He should have paid more attention. He shouldn’t have gotten carried away.

Jaehyun hates himself for all the “should have’s” sprouting inside his brain.

But he brushes it off. He hasn’t loved himself for a long time after all.

He forces his mind to return to the point he was making before self-hatred oh-so-rudely intervened.

“We aren’t... Our bodies aren’t made for this, Yukhei.”

Yukhei stares at him with wide eyes, as if he has trouble comprehending why Jaehyun would be so worried. Jaehyun himself cannot figure out why but it seems like his heart has taken this giant under its wing and put him under the “must protect” faction.

“I know and I’m sorry, hyung,” Yukhei says, looking genuinely sorry but his face steels itself right after. “But I’m not sorry for helping any of you. I would have done it even if I didn’t know any of you.”

Jaehyun shakes his head at the strength of those words. He wonders if Yukhei even realizes the weight of the promise he is making.

A part of him whispers that this is the part where Taeyong would hug Yukhei.

But Taeyong isn’t here and Jaehyun isn’t him.

He settles for a grateful look.

“I know.” He mutters out.

Yukhei looks at him for a moment, weighing his words before he says them.

“Hyung, if you are a teleporter, why didn’t you help them?”

Jaehyun stares at the boy, not knowing whether to praise him for figuring things out so soon or to ask him to shut up so that Jaehyun can go back to his shell and pretend like shit didn’t go down two years ago.

“Because I can’t do it anymore,” he grunts out instead.

Jaehyun really can’t. The bond had taken more than just Taeyong from him.

“Come and eat breakfast.” Jaehyun interrupts, an attempt at diverting the conversation off course when Yukhei is about to say something else.

“Hyung, I’m...”

“I’m sorry for yelling.” Jaehyun cuts Yukhei off again, walking out without sparing another look at the younger teleporter, leaving him dumbfounded in Jungwoo’s room.

Jaehyun doesn’t bother with breakfast, choosing to just lie in Yukhei’s bed, staring at the lines framed on the wall facing the bed, its background a soft lime green.

_Try, try again. Then your courage should appear, For if you will persevere, You will conquer, never fear._

Johnny opens the door to the room and enters, no permission asked. He meets Jaehyun’s eyes and sighs, like he’s tired, done with seeing Jaehyun like this, half-alive, grieving someone who’s not dead yet.

“I’ve told you this before. It’s not the end of the world.”

But it is. At least for Jaehyun, it is.

“Jae, we have bigger things to worry about. Taeyong didn’t lose everything he ever loved to have you mope around like this.”

Johnny Seo, a man who provides no preamble, does no dodging. A man of truth, a keeper of time, an apprentice of righteousness.

Which is why he has always been and will continue to be the one who knew exactly what to say to rile Jaehyun up.

Jaehyun gets up, facing a tired but determined Johnny.

“But I didn’t ask for this, hyung. I didn’t ask him to rip us apart like this. I didn’t ask him to put himself in danger.”

The elder man grips the doorknob tighter; Jaehyun can hear the sound of cracks being formed on the metal glob. He releases it after a tense moment.

“Would you rather have Donghyuck dead?” Johnny would have been a great lawyer, Jaehyun finds himself thinking absent-mindedly. He sure does get to the point real fast.

Jaehyun turns his face to look at the quote again, shaking his head, shoulders slumping. Two particular words stand out to him.

“You know my answer.”

Johnny nods, eyes softening.

“Then man up and come down. We need to talk.”

 

***

 

Doyoung nods at him, an acknowledgement of his presence as Jaehyun settles down next to Johnny on the couch. Yukhei gives him a look from where he is sitting on the ground, leaning against the couch next to Jungwoo’s legs.

Jungwoo claps his hands together just as Jaehyun notices the fact that they’ve all changed into different clothes. His skinny jeans from the day before cling uncomfortably to his legs. He doesn’t get much time to think about it.

“So, we have a problem.”

Jungwoo says, voice solemn. Jaehyun sees Yukhei roll his eyes at him.

The telepath glares at the boy seated on the floor. Jaehyun would have considered laughing if the sheer tension suspended in the air was not so conspicuous.

“Blue Wraith is looking for me.” Johnny pauses. “Again.” He adds as an afterthought.

Johnny is looking at Donghyuck for some reason Jaehyun can’t figure out. He feels Ten and Doyoung tense from where they are seated on the double-seater opposite the main couch.

“Were those men at the diner his?” Ten asks, eyes clear steel.

Johnny nods.

“But that is not the problem,” Jungwoo says, turning towards Donghyuck, the younger’s gaze wavering the longer he met the telepath’s eyes. Jungwoo looks at Yukhei right after.

Jaehyun feels like he is being forced to breathe oxygen which has been saturated with secrets. He hates the feeling with a passion.

Fire calls out to him, asking him if Jaehyun needs its help. It takes a lot of control but Jaehyun pours water over the flames. Taeil’s hand lands on his thigh for barely a moment and Jaehyun is no longer fighting the blazing inferno.

“You can come in, hyung,” Jungwoo says, making Jaehyun’s eyebrow furrow in confusion.

Who can come in?

Jungwoo eyes the front door then, two silhouettes of almost the same height appearing as the door swings open, the sun shining too brightly for Jaehyun to see their faces clearly.

Telepathy sure does a lot of favours.

When they walk inside, Jaehyun immediately freezes before getting up, Johnny’s death grip on his shoulder being the only thing keeping him from running towards one of the visitors and socking him in the face.

Jung Daehyun.

Jaehyun struggles for a second more before he breaks free, doing just what he said he would. Said newcomer spits blood on the ground, wiping at their mouth with the back of their hand, not retaliating.

Youngjae winces, feeling the same pain even if he isn’t the recipient of Jaehyun’s cross punch. Jaehyun mentally apologizes to Daehyun’s Half.

“Oh, Jaehyunnie, you’re just as feisty as usual.”

Daehyun looks around the room, smiling with bloody teeth before he runs his tongue over it, revealing perfectly straight, white teeth.

Jaehyun is about to throw another punch but Johnny catches hold of him from the back. He steps on the other’s foot, making the other wince in pain, catching him off guard. He swings his fist at the man in front of him again but Daehyun is much too fast for him, seizing Jaehyun’s hand and twisting his arms around, putting him in a chokehold from the back much like Donghyuck had done to Yukhei before, the knife being the only missing element now.

“Let it go, Jaehyun,” Daehyun grunts out, the effort audible in his voice.

Jaehyun watches the entire gang stand and stare, not knowing how to respond.

“Daehyun, we were not invited for a fight.”

Youngjae says, one of his hands crawling around his Half’s bicep in a placating manner.

“Invited?” Jaehyun snorts, animosity as evident as ever, even with a strong forearm successfully choking the life out of him.

“Daehyun,” Youngjae says again and the grip loosens.

Jaehyun’s vision spins for a bit from the momentary lack of oxygen but then he feels Taeil’s hands on his shoulder.

“Jungwoo asked for their help, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun doesn’t understand. He really doesn’t.

How are they all so okay with this? With Daehyun and Youngjae?

“What the fuck do we need their help for? What they did two years ago wasn’t enough help?”

Jaehyun sneers, Johnny’s grip tightening back again on his bicep. He’s certain that there’ll be bruises the day after.

“Stop acting like a petulant child for once in your life, Jaehyun. Hear us out.”

Johnny says, looking at Donghyuck again.

Is Johnny hinting that their problem is somehow related to Donghyuck?

“I don’t want to. He lied to us. He kept information from us. He knew but he never told us where Taeyong was taken to. If he was hurt. If he was able to escape. This bastard knew,” Jaehyun points an incriminating finger at Daehyun, voice rising in decibel, “He could have helped us find him but he didn’t. Give me one fucking reason why I should listen to him.”

Jaehyun sees Donghyuck proceed to walk to him but Yukhei grabs him by the wrist, holding him back. Donghyuck sends a look of betrayal towards the teleporter but the taller boy doesn’t look at him, his gaze flicking between the duo standing at the door and Jaehyun.

“One reason? Oh, I have one, dear cousin.” Daehyun says, almost spitting the words out in anger, Youngjae’s grip still anchoring him. “Donghyuck’s dying, you selfish dick.”

Jaehyun hears loud gasps coming from Doyoung and Ten. Taeil stares at Jungwoo with his eyes wide.

No one knew. Except for Jungwoo.

Of course.

Why didn’t he see this coming?

Jaehyun’s strength is moribund. The labyrinth of worries finally locks him in. He freezes in Johnny’s hold, not fully registering it even when he lets his grip loosen.

Moratorium has been declared in Jaehyun’s world. It’s already in ruins but the last chandelier swings from the ceiling and Jaehyun watches as each wire snaps one by one.

“Daehyun...”

Youngjae calls out softly, trying to pacify Jaehyun’s cousin.

“No, he needs to know.” Daehyun’s voice cracks then, all the bravado and charisma from before fading into nothingness. “If Jungwoo didn’t come and see us, we would have never known, Youngjae. This asshole would never have known.”

Jaehyun tilts his head to the side, the world toppling in one direction before his vision straightens itself out.

“What do you mean,” his voice cracks, “dying?”

Jaehyun asks. He’s trying his best to not look at Donghyuck but he can’t help it.

The boy Jaehyun gave everything up for stands frozen.

Yukhei has tears in his eyes but his hand is still gripping Donghyuck’s wrist.

“Let’s... let’s sit down, hyung.”

Jungwoo says, strangely being one among the four who still look hopeful.

“He’s a Fault, Jae.”

Daehyun says, hands folded in front of him as he states something that Jaehyun has known since forever about the boy in question.

The nickname makes his heart weak but he won’t fall for it. Not after what he did.

A seven-year-old Jaehyun runs at a younger version of Daehyun, screaming “Hyung” in front of a house that was burned to the ground a few years later. A sixteen-year-old Jaehyun rides around on a motorcycle, Daehyun’s laughs echoing in his ears, telling him “you told me you knew how to ride, dickhead ”.

Past-Jaehyun asks present-Jaehyun to forgive Daehyun.

To forgive his cousin who had always been a brother to him.

Until that one eventful day where all Jaehyun was left with was a boy with red hair and some souvenirs of the man he shared every breath, every feeling,  _everything_  with.

Jaehyun was never that generous.

And Jaehyun hasn’t changed much.

“I know that. We’ve always known that he’s a Fault.” He says.

Jaehyun looks at Doyoung for reassurance, the man nodding in approval. For what, Jaehyun doesn’t know. Doyoung’s lip wobbles before he purses it tightly.

“You don’t get it, do you?”

Daehyun asks, strangely calm. Jaehyun knows better.

There is something in his eyes, a look Jaehyun remembers seeing when he picked him up from his house, his parents scrambling to their car, Daehyun’s hand firmly holding Jaehyun’s.

Jaehyun remembers how their house was swallowed by the flames, moments later, little Jaehyun peeking at his home from the rear windshield, vision swimming with tears.

He realizes that the calm facade Daehyun has put on only means that Jaehyun’s world is about to catch fire.

“How old were you when you met Taeyong, Jaehyun?”

Youngjae asks, surprising Jaehyun since he had expected his cousin to talk. Youngjae’s hands are incredibly steady as he loops Daehyun’s fingers with his.

“Eleven.”

Jaehyun croaks, not missing a beat, voice wrecked from the little tussle, initial surprise gone with the wind. He doesn’t want to make this conversation any longer than it has to be.

“Johnny?”

The taller man scrunches his eyebrows at Youngjae before he finally understands what he is getting at.

“I met Ten when I was nine. Doyoung when I was twelve.”

Jaehyun finds these riddles that Youngjae puts forward so flawlessly, so calculatedly, hard to stomach.

“You were all so young when you met your Half. I met Dae when he was ten. All of us... we’ve never known a life without them. Not really. Donghyuck is turning nineteen, Jaehyun. He’s a Fault. You can figure out the rest of it yourself.”

Jaehyun stares at everyone. He feels like an indecisive travesty, void of thoughts, void of the ability to think.

Jungwoo and the newly arrived pair wait for the rest of the gang to connect the dots. Taeil sighs, slumping against the soft cushion as the pieces finally click together.

Daehyun runs a hand over his face, lip still busted from the punch, eyeing Jaehyun with sympathy right after.

“The concept of a Fault is complicated.” Daehyun pauses, looking down at Youngjae’s fingers entwined with his, wistfully. Jaehyun doesn’t have to read his mind to know what he is thinking. “We’re no strangers to that, are we?” He pauses again,”But there’s a side to it that we don’t see often. Just like faults manifest at a different age for different people, there’s a time limit for a Fault to meet their Half, unlike other Ables. Like a window that nature offers. Most of us get lucky.”

Daehyun hesitates. It’s unfamiliar, never before seen. Jaehyun wonders if something had happened to his cousin in the two years that he stayed away.

“Some don’t.”

Jungwoo adds what Daehyun couldn’t bring himself to utter, completely derailing Jaehyun’s thought process.

Jaehyun feels out of breath at the revelation. Everything made so much sense now.

It is Yukhei who straightens up, one hand still encircling Donghyuck’s tan wrist and gives voice to what the others have discerned already.

“So he needs to find his Half or he’ll die?”

Daehyun and Jungwoo nod from their respective places. Jaehyun notices the way Yukhei lets the other’s wrist go, a veneer befalling his face.

“He has already started to experience the side effects. That’s what Taeil saw in the car.”

Youngjae states, regarding Taeil and subtly nodding at the Listener. Unlike Jaehyun, Taeil doesn’t even flinch at the intrusion in his mind.

Telepaths know no boundaries. It’s a universal truth.

Jaehyun’s mind is all over the place. All he wants is to just sink underwater and gather himself but they’ve got no time.

Who is he kidding? They’ve never had time.

The healer. The traitor. The ally. The enemy.

“Donghyuck...”

Jaehyun calls out in a whisper for the first time since they sat down together.

The youngest flinches visibly, Jaehyun can tell that he regrets looking at his face, that he wishes that he was looking somewhere else, just so he could avoid confrontation for a moment or two more.

Jaehyun watches Yukhei drag his attention back from the pits of hell that it had ventured down into, rising to his full height as Donghyuck gets up from his seat.

Jaehyun gets up too. He has postponed this for so long. Perhaps too long.

His knees wobble a bit as he closes the distance between him and Donghyuck. He feels Ten grab his hand but he flicks it away with one hand.

_”What side effects, Hyuck?”_

Donghyuck shakes his head. A clear denial. He isn’t going to tell him.

 _”Donghyuck, don’t do this to me. Please. Tell me what’s happening. You’ve kept me in the dark for so long.”_  He pleads.

Donghyuck takes a step backwards as Jaehyun takes a step towards him. The youngest stumbles against Yukhei, the teleporter stepping to the side, not wanting to get in between the duo even if he feels quite divided.

He’s dying, Jaehyun. He hears inside, his inner voice sombre.

Jaehyun lets the tears fall then. He lets a hysterical laugh escape him as he stares at Donghyuck.

Donghyuck heaves a deep breath.

Then, he signs.

About the nosebleeds, the pain, the headaches, the sleeplessness, everything.

Ever experienced someone narrating about how a world dies using their hands?

Jaehyun has.

He had prepared himself for it but that doesn’t mean that the revelation hurts any less.

Death hovers behind them, especially Donghyuck, wielding his axe and eyeing an hourglass in which sand seeps at an uncontrollably swift pace.

They’ve all been so stupid, so focused on running that they hadn’t looked at this boy who was beside them, running as fast as he could even if knew that something was wrong with him. Donghyuck has been hiding his wounds, this agony for so long, holding his arms wide open for all of them as he dealt with all of it on his own.

Jaehyun asks himself if he did something to make Donghyuck feel like he couldn’t tell him. Like, he couldn’t depend on him. His mind stays deaf to his cruel but honest musings.

Taeyong would be disappointed, Jaehyun. It says, finally. It’s not an answer to his question but it is a response nonetheless.

He has good reason to be, Jaehyun yells back at his mind, for once seeking peace, seeking silence.

Gossamer threads that Jaehyun had wrapped around Donghyuck hoping they would be enough, splinter.

Jaehyun cannot do anything but watch.

_”I’m sorry, hyung.”_

Donghyuck’s fingers sloppily sign.

Jaehyun’s heart pounds in fear.

Donghyuck never signs like this. Why now?

He doesn’t want to see him in pain. He can’t handle it. He’d rather die. He’d rather have Taeyong break their bond a million times.

This, he realizes, is why Donghyuck never told him.

The facade of unshakeable strength Jaehyun put up had failed miserably in front of the one person it should have worked with.

And if Jaehyun did not know, it was for good reason.

Donghyuck was not trying to save himself, he was trying to keep Jaehyun from falling apart.

Donghyuck sways on his feet then. Jaehyun’s reflexes don’t react, limbs tied down by osmium, so he watches Yukhei’s hands catch him. Jaehyun wipes his eyes with the back of his hands, frozen otherwise, watching Doyoung and Ten get up in panic and move away to make space for Donghyuck.

There’s uproar, one stemming from distress.

_”I’m fine.”_

Donghyuck signs weakly, leaning back on the couch. Johnny huffs and looks at the ceiling in frustration.

Jaehyun observes Doyoung’s hands shake as he stares wide-eyed at Donghyuck, one of his hands entwined tightly with Ten’s who is trying hard to maintain a straight face.

Jaehyun ruminates on what to do, feeling angry and disappointed, most of all, betrayed, but then Taeil turns away with fat tears rolling down his face and Jaehyun stumbles back as if pushed by some unseen force.

The Listener breaking down is the last straw.

Jaehyun sees the same panic he feels inside, palpable on Yukhei’s face, on everyone’s face.

Three months, Jaehyun catches Yukhei say. He doesn’t ask how he knows.

He hears someone call his name. It doesn’t register as fast as it used to. Some other voice calls again. Jaehyun’s gaze is still transfixed on Donghyuck.

He feels someone shake him back to reality.

“Get your head straight, Jaehyun. This isn’t even the worst you’ll see.”

Daehyun tells him, uncharacteristically calm again but straight to the point, reminiscent of the way he used to be two years ago, aware of what exactly will force Jaehyun into action.

“Teleportation must have accelerated the process. He was already weak to begin with.”

Jungwoo divulges, throwing a regretful look to Yukhei who stills as the words process.

Yukhei turns to Jaehyun, face veiled with guilt.

“Hyung, I didn’t mean to..”

Jaehyun doesn’t let him finish.

“I know. None of us meant to do this. It’s not your fault.”

Jaehyun attempts to pull himself together, remembering the promise he made to Donghyuck a thousand times over.

He can cry later. He can break down later.

Priorities, Jaehyun. Choose your priorities.

A vault closes in Jaehyun’s head and he slumps against its door.

Luck really isn’t on their side. The fact that revelation came like this seconds after Donghyuck told him the truth is proof enough.

“Jaehyun, we need... we need to get him to a hospital.”

Jungwoo stutters out suddenly.

“Why?” Jaehyun asks, genuinely confused even if he noticed that Donghyuck is somehow even paler than he was minutes ago.

Daehyun huffs indignantly.

“Wanna do the honours yourself, Donghyuck?”

Donghyuck withdraws into himself as he watches Daehyun’s lips form the question.

Jaehyun turns to him.

Strangely enough, it is Yukhei who answers for him.

“Sparkles had a nosebleed in the morning. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but he asked me not to.”

Youngjae raises a dark eyebrow at Yukhei at the nickname, throwing Jaehyun a look that says “Are you seeing this or is it just me?”

Donghyuck glares at Yukhei with whatever energy he can muster. It would have been hilarious, seeing Yukhei shrink at the younger’s glare but with the state they are in, it just feels like something to pity-laugh at.

“He had one two days ago too. I accidentally caught a glimpse of it when we talked in the garage yesterday. That’s why I wanted you to ask him.”

Jungwoo explains, eyes fixed on Donghyuck.

Jaehyun peers at Donghyuck with his eyebrows scrunched, lips pursed.

_”Anything else I should know?”_

He knows he sounds disappointed but he really is and he wants Donghyuck to know. He has kept this from him for so long. He has the right to be distressed.

He let him down.

Donghyuck gives him a sad look, shaking his head.

“What we need to do is to start looking for his Half. I don’t get why we need to get him to a hospital.” Jaehyun says, thoughts muddled, too many nights and days blurring into one, busy creating one big picture from any and every stray memory that has a connection.

Jaehyun is not fond of the attention they will draw if they do brave themselves up to visit a doctor. Not to mention how hard it would be to get someone like Donghyuck, an Able, a doctor who would keep his mouth shut while not attempting to slice his throat or call their enemies on them.

People like them do not go to hospitals to be saved.

They go there if they have a death wish.

The Ables they know, Yixing and Yuta, are away in their home countries. They are the only ones with healing as their major ability among their allies.

It’s like all the roads are closing in on them.

Why do things seem so terrible and awfully timed?

“Oh, Jaehyun. Moon Jongup is still alive and breathing.”

Jaehyun narrows his gaze at Daehyun’s mocking voice.

Telepaths and their lack of sense of privacy.

However, he cannot help but wonder how he ever forgot the existence of someone so important. But the more he dwells on it, the more the regret slithers its way inside him.

Jongup had always been on Daehyun’s side. It was only natural for him to leave with Daehyun and Youngjae.

Perhaps, a part of Jaehyun has learnt to repress the memories of a hyung who healed him for half of his lifetime, making roses bloom at will for little Jaehyun, surprising him with fragile dandelions when he visited.

You want to see him, don’t you? Jaehyun hears his young-self ask, voice soft.

Daehyun’s eyes are sincere as he says the next words.

“If a part of you still trusts us, still trusts him, come with us. Jongup can help. You know that, don’t you, Jaehyun?”

It’s a genuine offer.

They would leave if he rejects. This, Jaehyun is familiar with.

Daehyun has always been a man of his words.

That had been the problem two years ago too. Taeyong had made Daehyun promise.

No matter how angry Jaehyun is with his cousin, a part of him is still aware that Daehyun was simply bound by his words, that his ethics would never have let him betray Taeyong like that even if it meant losing Jaehyun’s trust forever.

Jaehyun knows his answer. He hesitates even then, throwing a look to Johnny and Taeil, letting them decide for him.

The silence stretches on for what seems like an eternity.

Youngjae decides for all of them, ever the instinctual one.

“Come here, you.”

He says, husky voice thick with emotion as he pulls Donghyuck close, smoothing the younger’s hair with his hands. Jaehyun’s heart aches at the way Donghyuck makes himself small to fit in better in the telepath’s hold. Daehyun coos at the pair before wrapping his strong arms around the hugging pair, looking so much like a family that Jaehyun’s thoughts falter.

The others had never questioned when he decided to cut off all ties with his cousin and his friends, despite being the only ones they trusted with their lives. Looking back now, Jaehyun realizes how much of a coward he has been.

He had put the blame on his brothers who were simply keeping a promise and kept away from them so long. Yet, here they were, running to them with their shields extended to them, their hands ready to hold them up if need be, unbothered with all the words Jaehyun had spat at them the last time they saw each other.

He apologizes mentally. Neither Youngjae nor Daehyun shows any signs that they heard. Jaehyun is glad. Maybe for once in their lives, they had decided to give Jaehyun a break.

“Guys, full offence intended but you need to stop acting like this is a sitcom. I yawned twice.”

Smiles fill the room, Johnny and Daehyun snorting at Yukhei’s words.

The joke is ill-timed but it is well intentioned and that’s all that matters.

Jaehyun catches Donghyuck slip up and smile at Yukhei, almost seeming grateful.

But when Yukhei turns to him, a glare replaces the smile.

A tendril of disappointment crawls around his heart.

Yet, hope, somehow, still thrives in Jaehyun’s soul.

Maybe what they have been looking for has been here the whole time.

Maybe, they might not have to look too far.

“Jaehyun, don’t.”

Daehyun says, as the others leave to get changed, ultimately deciding to go with the visitors. Jaehyun catches the way Yukhei follows Donghyuck, hands awkwardly hovering in the air as if he is hesitant to touch.

“Why not?”

Jaehyun questions, heart pounding dangerously.

“Because you already know that what you’re thinking is not gonna happen. No amount of hoping is gonna change that.”

Strike one.

Player invalid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a long chapter but I hope you enjoyed.
> 
> The quote framed on Yukhei's wall is actually a poem called Try, try again by William Edward Hickson.
> 
> Yes, to the million asks I got in my cc, this is a hyuckhei fic too. 
> 
> Watch out for the markhyuck though!


	6. Found

The world races, slows and races again on an infinite loop as Jaehyun follows Daehyun’s car, wading through the peak morning rush. Jaehyun steals a glance at Donghyuck who rests his head against the tinted window, eyes blank as he stares at the busy street.

Jaehyun snaps out of his reverie when Yukhei honks loudly. He shifts the gear and rolls down the window, putting his middle finger out for the world to see.

Donghyuck snorts from his seat.

_”I raised you well, hyung.”_

He signs. Jaehyun doesn’t respond, fondly glancing at the younger’s thin smile before fixing his gaze back on the road.

For a moment, it’s like the voices in his head, worried, angry, disappointed, and betrayed; all of them stop.

But it’s only a moment.

Then it’s back to them talking all at once, raising their levels higher like men fighting to win over each other until the walls close in on him.

Jaehyun pulls into the driveway, his heart in his throat and a strange feeling taking up home in his chest. His throat is parched, memory foggy for a long moment before the flood rushes in.

Donghyuck’s palms are sweaty when he places his hand over Jaehyun’s on the gear shift.

Jaehyun promises a conversation with his eyes and gets out of the car.

Two familiar motorcycles, still well-maintained welcome him in all their metal glory.

Jaehyun knows what that means.

Daehyun doesn’t bother ringing the doorbell, it’s his home, after all, walking straight inside, knowing that the others will follow.

Donghyuck’s hands are entwined with Jaehyun’s, a source of courage for the both of them.

Youngjae makes a detour to the kitchen, winking at Donghyuck as he does so. Jaehyun can hear the drone of a very dear voice speaking to someone. Johnny flicks his eyes in the direction Youngjae takes, remorse dragging his gaze down soon after as the voice registers.

Jaehyun is to blame. He had forced them away. All of them.

He was not the only one who suffered. They all had.

Daehyun knocks on the door at the end of the hallway. Jaehyun knows that they never knock. It’s just Daehyun’s way of letting the other man know that he has visitors.

They were always cautious.

Jaehyun is pleased to know that tradition continued.

That some things never change.

“Jongup-ah.”

Daehyun calls out when there is no response.

“Yah, you brat, Moon Fucking Jongup, come out!!”

He yells after a moment of silence, patience wearing thin. They hear a groan from inside.

“Bitch, what the fuck? Can’t you just go and bother Youngjae, you..”

Jongup swings the door open, hair sticking up in a hundred directions, the mesh pattern of his sheets imprinted on his left cheek. His eyes widen, words trailing off at the sight in front of him.

Jaehyun watches as Jongup scans his gaze over them.

Daehyun smiles smugly at the healer.

“I promised I’d bring them back one day, didn’t I?”

Jongup tears up then, eyes still wide in shock. His lips tremble as he takes another step forward, hands cupping Donghyuck’s, a sob tearing out of his throat as he hugged the boy.

Jongup smiles wetly at Taeil as he lets Donghyuck go. The Listener stumbles forward, hesitating.

“Moon Taeil, you deserve a kick in the ass,” Jongup says, voice suddenly serious before the facade breaks, “but I missed you too much to hurt you. It’s your lucky day.” Taeil almost melts against his cousin as if for the few moments they hug, the weight of the world is off his shoulders.

Jaehyun hears Yukhei snort, Jungwoo and Doyoung’s teary glares making him shut up.

Jaehyun isn’t prepared to face all of them so soon. He doesn’t want to talk. He doesn’t want them to forgive him. He doesn’t deserve it.

“Stop thinking,” is all Jongup whispers out before he hugs Jaehyun, arms going around him with practised ease. Jaehyun sighs in relief, his breath rattling with emotion. He inhales shakily, a small smile making its way to his face.

Jongup still smelled like jasmine and lilac.

Jongup makes his way around the group, hugging everyone. Even Ten who had stayed tearless, trying to stay strong for all of them, breaks down as Jongup’s arms go around him.

Comfort. Jongup is still synonymous with it.

He invites them all inside, room as tidy as ever, his OCD tendencies clear.

It reminds him of Taeyong. He wonders if Jongup misses him.

“So, not that I’m complaining but why are you here?”

Daehyun facepalms. Yukhei snorts again from where he is sitting atop the table. Jaehyun wonders if he lacks a reaction filter.

“We need you to do a check on Donghyuck.”

Doyoung says, face puffy from the crying.

Jongup raises an eyebrow curiously before he makes a sound of understanding.

“Is that why Jungwoo came over yesterday in the middle of the night?”

The question is directed at Daehyun who nods.

“I should have known that it was something bad when I saw him. I didn’t even think that far. I had a job in the city so I’m sorry that I couldn’t stay and hear you out.”

Jongup’s face is grim as he apologizes.

“So will you?” Jaehyun asks, addressing the mounting concern in his chest, not bothering with anything but what is necessary, especially so, at the moment.

“Why would you even bother asking, Jaehyun-ah?” He looks hurt as he vocalizes the question, voice particularly soft as he tacks on his name.

Why indeed.

Jongup turns in his bed and folds his legs under him, gesturing for Donghyuck to do the same. He takes his wrist in his hands and closes his eyes for a moment.

“Blood loss,” Jongup says, after a taut moment, eyes still closed. “Slower healing.” His eyebrows furrow.

“His abilities are unstable. It’s like it’s trying to tear itself apart.... while attempting to level up and present at the same time.”

Jongup mumbles out in the end, opening his eyes to look at Donghyuck before closing them again. Jongup’s hands glow red, then green, breaths becoming a little heavier the more he holds onto them.

The healer’s eyes open. And then, Donghyuck slumps against him, eyes rolling to the back of his head.

Jaehyun, Yukhei, Johnny and Daehyun take a step forward in alarm.

“It’s okay. He’s weaker than I thought he was. You need to find his Half soon.” Jongup pauses, getting up and manoeuvring Donghyuck so that he can rest comfortably on the bed.

“He also needs blood. His circulatory system is not responding to my healing.”

“His blood group is AB, hyung. It’s a rare group as it is. Where are we going to find someone who’ll be willing to donate blood? Especially for someone like him.”

It is Daehyun who smiles at Johnny, it’s nothing big, just a small upward curve of his lips.

To Jaehyun, it feels like hope in a graveyard.

“Youngjae is AB, Johnny. Don’t worry.”

Jaehyun’s pounding heart slows down. He can almost taste relief on the tip of his tongue.

The room is thick with tension as Jongup sets up a saline IV, piercing a needle into the younger’s vein.

Daehyun leaves the room then, speed walking outside and returning with Youngjae in tow.

“Hyung, you’re okay with this?”

Doyoung asks, worrying his lip.

Youngjae turns to him with a confused look, hands stilling where he was trying to roll up the sleeves of his shirt.

“Why would I not be?”

Doyoung doesn’t respond for a long moment.

“We’ve stayed away for so long so I thought...”

Youngjae face turns to stone.

“That I’ll leave him to die when I can help? Leave this boy whom I have seen grow up in front of my eyes? Two years, Twenty years, it means nothing, Doyoung. It means nothing when his life is at stake.”

Certainty rings in Youngjae’s voice. It reassures Jaehyun.

Jongup herds them out the door soon after mumbling about how he needs air to breathe and that the tension in the room was messing with his inner Zen.

Then, it’s sitting down in the living room, waiting, watching time tick past, slower than a snail.

It’s painfully frustrating. Yukhei starts fidgeting, squirming in his seat every now and then and it hasn’t even been  _twe_ _nty minutes._  Goddamn it!

“Yukhei.”

Jaehyun says, hoping to distract the teleporter. The tall boy stops.

It’s another minute later and Yukhei’s knee goes up and down, foot tapping some tribal anthem.

Jaehyun doesn’t bother with him again, choosing to walk to where he assumes the kitchen is.

What he doesn’t expect to see is Bang Yongguk sipping coffee, seated at the small dining table in the kitchen, not a muscle moving on his face as his intense gaze meets Jaehyun’s. He puts the mug down and does a two finger salute.

“Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun is still frozen at the threshold.

How do you talk to a person when the last thing you said to them was something that would have broken any man?

Jaehyun’s memory is crystal clear. His ears ring with the exact words he had uttered coldly, out of anger, out of the pain of a newly shattered bond.

_“He chose death over you. You deserve this pain. You deserve every terrible thing that happened to you.”_

He had said, Yongguk not flinching once, just walking away with Daehyun and Youngjae, shoulders stiff.

“I’m...”

“No.”

Yongguk rejects the apology before it is voiced out, like a child killed in the womb but there’s no malice in his rejection.

They always did forgive him too fast.

“You meant it. That day. Whatever you said, you meant it.”

Jaehyun doesn’t deny it. He had wanted to hurt Yongguk. For playing along with Daehyun and Youngjae. For supporting Taeyong’s plan. He had wanted the other to hurt as much as he was hurting.

“I’m...” He doesn’t complete the words. It will sound hollow to the other’s ears. It will just end up as another rejected apology.

“Donghyuck is not doing well.”

Jaehyun says instead. He looks around for a glass. Yongguk gets up, opening a drawer, taking a glass out and filling it to the brim with water from the purifier.

“I know. Jungwoo told us.” He hands the glass to Jaehyun.

Jaehyun sips at the water. He doesn’t know why it tastes bitter.

“Why didn’t you come...” He trails off.

Yongguk lets out a humourless chuckle, deep voice resonating in the kitchen.

“Wasn’t sure if you would have liked it.”

Jaehyun knows it’s a jab. Man, does it hurt.

“They came anyway.”

Jaehyun says, hands clammy the more he felt Yongguk’s intense gaze on him.

“They do not understand boundaries. They care too much.”

“You don’t?” Jaehyun asks immediately.

“Do I?”

Yongguk sips the coffee again.

“He’s dying, hyung.”

Jaehyun breathes, voice splintering just like his heart is as full realization sinks in. He wishes he never said it out loud like that, for him, for the entire world to hear.

“He is.”

Yongguk confirms his fears. It’s the truth after all.

“But you’re not planning on letting him go like that, are you?”

Jaehyun doesn’t need to think about it to answer that question.

“No.”

Yongguk smiles.

“Good.” He looks out the window after he says it. “You need to work fast, Jaehyun. The clock is ticking.”

Jaehyun nods even if the warning is clear in the words. He hears the unsaid truth and it’s daunting.

Yongguk takes a deep breath.

“I shouldn’t be telling you this but... it’s been too long. Taeyong didn’t leave because HOAX attacked. He didn’t leave just so he could distract the others from finding you guys.”

Is truth subjective?

After two years of believing in something so blindly, two years of forcing yourself to trust in a truth which you only assumed because that’s all you could do, this is the question Jaehyun is left with.

It takes something inside Jaehyun and carves unintelligible shapes onto it, pointless facts, useless certainties that has dictated Jaehyun’s thoughts for the past two years, making him create another persona for the world to see because a part of him died there as their apartment complex burned down in front of his eyes, Taeyong’s voice in his head asking him to forgive him, to keep running, to never stop, to never be found by them, to not look for him, to promise that he wouldn’t, to keep Donghyuck safe.

Keep Donghyuck safe.

It all came down to that, didn’t it?

“He left to look for someone, Jaehyun. Have faith.”

Jaehyun insides twist in confusion.

Look for whom?

“You need to look out for everyone. The days won’t be as easy as it used to be and you’ll need to run faster than ever.”

Yongguk says, eyes still fixed at some sight outside the window. Jaehyun follows his line of vision.

There are deep red roses in full bloom right outside the window. The thorns are huge but the flowers are too. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that they’re Jongup’s doing.

“Vive la revolution, Jaehyun.”

Yongguk says, sliding away from the kitchen, putting the mug in the sink, not giving an opportunity for Jaehyun to question further.

Jaehyun could just ask Yongguk what he meant by that but he doesn’t. Maybe, ignorance is a privilege. He turns to place the half empty glass on the counter, his vision focussing on a picture stuck to the refrigerator door of all six of them.

They were only four now.

They all have lost something in this world that judges you by your abilities and treats you like you are abominations if you can read minds, run faster or sense more than the others.

Yongguk has lost someone forever.

Jaehyun hasn’t.

Maybe that’s the part he should be focussing on. Maybe that should become his hope.

He sits down at the kitchen table, staring out the window, leaning back in the chair.

_Roses are red. Violets are blue. Will I ever be able to save you?_

 

***

 

Youngjae shuffles in slowly to the kitchen, Daehyun close behind. The other man is visibly exhausted from the blood transfusion.

“Is he awake yet?”

Jaehyun asks from where he sits. Daehyun shakes his head.

Jaehyun goes back to staring out the window. He should probably go to Donghyuck but he needs some time.

In his peripheral vision, he sees Daehyun’s hand go around Youngjae’s waist as the other wobbles dangerously on his feet.

“Let go, Youngjae. Don’t block it from me.” Daehyun whispers.

Youngjae’s eyes are closed as he finally does just that, letting his Half support his weight.

Daehyun and Youngjae.

They are not two pieces of a puzzle that click together and make the picture perfect. They’re so much more than that.

To Jaehyun, they’re the exact same piece, a singular entity.

Jaehyun doesn’t remember a time when his younger-self wasn’t envious of their bond. The envy he felt, however, stemmed from this uncertainty of not knowing if he and his half could ever be as tightly wound as them, so much that no one could ever tell them apart.

And with Taeyong by his side, Jaehyun had finally felt like they stood a chance.

If Daehyun and Youngjae were like mirror images of each other, if they had learned to melt against each other, Jaehyun thought that he and Taeyong were unique in the sense that they were a million different shades, Jaehyun the grey spectrum and Taeyong, the colours.

It sounds good in his head but it tasted better when he curled his tongue and tasted Taeyong’s mouth, mapping out every word ever said only to melt at the breathy and soft whisper of a determined confession which tumbled out of the elder’s mouth with sweet, sweet certainty.

And nothing, not even Youngjae and Daehyun’s bond, would ever overshadow the love they shared.

Even if all that is left is memories, Jaehyun’s heart still beats for Taeyong just like he knows that somewhere, in some corner of the world, the other’s heart yearns for him.

Which is why he  _needs_  to stay strong.

Taeyong trusted him with Donghyuck and here he is, running away from his responsibilities like the complete coward that he is.

“You’re not a coward, Jaehyun. You’re just... human.”

It’s a reminder. Youngjae’s voice is gentle and when Jaehyun looks up at the pair, he knows he means it.

“Thank you,” Jaehyun says, a few minutes later when the duo leaves the kitchen after pouring some juice for both of them. Daehyun and Youngjae look back at him in sync.

“For helping us. For helping him.”

Daehyun smirks at him, kitten lips curving slowly.

“Oh my dear cousin, it’s good to know that you’ve learned manners since I saw you last time but you don’t need to thank us for it. We’re family.”

Was that forgiveness? Jaehyun had hated them for two long years, daily, passionately. He had sworn that he would never forgive them but he had always known that he would break. With what Yongguk said ringing in his head, he doesn’t hesitate to say the words he should have said instead of punching the daylights out of his cousin.

“I’m sorry about what I said last time. I’m sorry I punched you. I know your hands are tied. I was a complete clusterfuck back then.”

Daehyun nods at him understandingly.

“You’re still a complete clusterfuck but that’s okay. Maybe one day, you’ll no longer be.”

He says with determination.

Jaehyun frowns, puzzled.

“How do you know? How do you know if I’ll ever be okay?”

Daehyun smiles smugly.

“You’re my brother, Jaehyun-ah. Of course, I know.”

“A part of me still hates you. But there’s no point.” Jaehyun confesses honestly.

Daehyun’s face remains indifferent.

“Sometimes we do pointless things. We can’t help it.”

Jaehyun stares at them for a frozen moment, speechless, frustrated at the mercy they’re showing him despite him acting like an entitled brat, despite telling them straight to their faces that he hated them.

He turns away from them, and maybe his eyes are playing tricks on him but the roses are a little brighter.

It’s a couple of hours later when Johnny comes in to let him know that Donghyuck is awake. He thinks of thanking the elder man for not interrupting his time alone till then but he keeps silent, getting up, back stiff from sitting in the same position for so long.

When Jaehyun opens the door, Donghyuck is heatedly signing with Yukhei who is sitting on the bed. The youngest boy is tired as is visible from his posture but his face is bright. It takes a while for Donghyuck to notice Jaehyun’s presence.

Jaehyun can’t help but wonder what could have been.

“I’ll catch you later, Sparkles,” Yukhei says as he gets up from the bed, having followed Donghyuck’s line of sight.

Donghyuck proceeds to sign something, hands frozen in the air, but decides otherwise.

Yukhei nods at Jaehyun as he walks out of the room. Jaehyun stops him with a hand on his shoulder.

“Did the others see him yet?”

“Yeah. They all did.”

Donghyuck looks at him with a soft look on his face. Jaehyun pauses at the foot of the bed but Donghyuck pats on the mattress where Yukhei was sitting just minutes ago.

Jaehyun plops down on the mattress, eyes straying to the empty blood bag before settling on Donghyuck once again.

“How are you feeling?”

Donghyuck’s face breaks out into a wide smile.

_”Never been better.”_

Jaehyun snorts.

“Right.”

_”Are you questioning my ability to tell how I’m feeling?”_

Jaehyun fakes a shudder.

“How could you doubt me and suggest such heresy, sweet brother o’ mine?”

Donghyuck preens at the nickname, smiling so wide it makes Jaehyun’s heartache. He yawns then.

“Go back to sleep.”

_”On one condition. Will you sing me to sleep?”_

It had been a while since Jaehyun had sung for Donghyuck. They don’t exactly get the time to, you see. Hell, some nights they can’t even sleep properly, much less sing a lullaby.

But today is different. Things are different. They’re safe, even though the other details could have been better.

Jaehyun nods in agreement. Donghyuck pushes him down with his hands, almost manhandling Jaehyun to the bed, and he lets him. The younger boy proceeds to wiggle inside his arm to rest his head against his chest, one hand splayed flat against it.

Jaehyun’s voice is rusty but it’s not like he’s trained anyway. All Donghyuck knows is the vibrations of his voice. Nothing else matters.

The more he sings, the more he can’t help his emotions from getting the better of himself. He looks down at Donghyuck who has fallen asleep, his hand clutching a fistful of Jaehyun’s t-shirt, hair splayed messily.

He closes his eyes as he sings the last few lines, remembering that the last time he sang it had been two years ago, a black metal bracelet clasping on a pale wrist, euphoric tears dripping from Taeyong’s eyes ceaselessly.

_So whenever you ask me again_

_How I feel_

_Please remember_

_My answer is you_

_If I go back a long way_

_I’ll still be the same._

_We’ll be alright_

_I want to try again_

_We’ll be alright_

_Please try again_

We’ll be alright, hyung. Please find me again. He thinks, eyes opening to land on Donghyuck closed lids, long lashes resting against his cheeks.

Then, it’s back to reality, momentary calm all gone, fear clogging his windpipe again.

Because he and Taeyong might still have a shot but Donghyuck only has one.

 

***

 

_A dream painted red._

_All of them. Soaked._

_From head to toe._

_Donghyuck in an all-white tuxedo._

_A boat._

_A river of blood._

_Red._

_Red everywhere._

_Jaehyun does what he does best._

_He runs._

_Then he stops._

_He turns._

_Their fingers point at him._

 

***

 

Jaehyun wakes up gasping for air, his heart pounding so hard that his chest aches with its force. He should have seen this coming.

Donghyuck twists around on his chest and frowns in his sleep. Jaehyun uses the time to get off the bed, almost collapsing on the floor from how weak he feels.

He walks out of the room in a hurry, feet being ever so uncooperative by not supporting his weight as firmly as it used to.

Then he lets go, letting his back hit the wall, sobbing into his hands because Donghyuck is dying and if Jaehyun doesn’t find his Half soon, these moments just might be his last. He cannot bear the brunt of this responsibility.

Not alone. Not with the entire world’s support.

Because no matter how strong they are together, no matter how fast they’ll try to be, the truth still rings, time still slides from his hands and it feels like, this time it will steal someone else from the palm of his hands.

The fact that Donghyuck has kept this from him for so long might have saved Jaehyun the feelings of hopelessness and anxiety till now, but now not only does he know, he is also short of time.

There’s a dreary darkness clutching onto the back of Jaehyun’s head and he doesn’t want to fall into its fathomless existence but this is all that is left.

It is better than failing Donghyuck.

He sobs harder, hands pulling fistfuls of his hair, deep desolation running in his veins, calling him out for every single thing he has ever done wrong, telling him that it’s all his fault.

The worst part is that he knows. He knows it’s his fault.

Breathing is suddenly even harder and he hiccups, hitting at his chest with one fist just to get one more puff of air, just one more because goddamn it, he wants to make it through the night and find Donghyuck’s Half. He can’t leave like this, with so many uncertainties and insecurities.

He hears a soft voice call out his name. He doesn’t stop hitting his chest because his vision is swimming from the tears and his lungs are protesting from the lack of air.

Jaehyun feels hands on both sides of his head, firm but not tight and then, his vision is clearing and he chokes, finally, finally taking a much-needed puff of air.

Jungwoo pulls away, tears running down his face as Jaehyun slumps back against the wall, face red and a bruise forming on his chest where he was hitting it.

Jaehyun hears Jungwoo’s sniffles as his own sobs still continue. He rubs a hand over his face and tries with all his might to stop crying but there are too many tears left inside him.

“Hyung...” Jungwoo softly whispers, putting his arms around Jaehyun, rubbing small circles on his back to distract him. Jaehyun doesn’t hug back for a long time.

He only does when Jungwoo says, “It’s okay. Let it out, hyung. Just let it out,” his voice coming out airy and clogged with emotion.

“I’m gonna fail him again. There’s so... so little time, Jungwoo. He’s gonna die and all I’ll be able to do is watch. I can’t...”

Jungwoo’s expression crumbles.

“Hyung, I know that it looks like there’s nothing to hold on to but there is. If you give up so fast, we don’t stand a chance. Please.”

He pleads and pulls away from Jaehyun. The sobs die down then.

Jaehyun shakes his head.

“We don’t stand a chance now.”

The telepath shakes his head.

“We do. Just keep your eyes open. This,” he gestures between them, “me, you, all the others. We’re all here for him and we’re not ordinary, hyung. We’ll find his Half if it’s the last thing we do.”

Determination shines in Jungwoo’s words. It’s way past midnight and Jaehyun is breaking into smithereens but Jungwoo’s words force him to rethink.

They’re Ables.

If  _they_  can’t find one person, who can?

Jungwoo smiles reassuringly at him, presumably from reading Jaehyun’s shift in thoughts.

Everything is not magically fixed but once in a while, a reminder of how strong they are together and how advantageous that is, is much appreciated.

He remembers how his mind forced him to believe that powers don’t mean anything when time is running out low but that’s when everything clicks in place.

“Jungwoo, time.”

Jungwoo tilts his head to the side, not understanding what Jaehyun is trying to say.

“We are short on time.”

“I know, hyung but it’ll be okay. I promise.”

“No. We’re short on time but we’ll be able to get more time if we find a Looper.”

Jungwoo looks at him with wide eyes, the plan finally dawning on him.

“So that if we don’t find his Half soon, we’ll have the option to loop time?”

Jaehyun nods hurriedly, thoughts racing miles a minute.

“That’s... wow! That’s an amazing plan, hyung. We’ll ask around. Finding a Looper is not gonna be as hard as finding his Half.”

Jungwoo’s smile is contagious and soon, Jaehyun is smiling too, albeit not as wide or as happy as the telepath knowing that it’s not a permanent solution. However, it’s a step in the right direction and sometimes, that’s all that matters.

He wipes the tears away from his face as he gets up.

One step, one too many. Jaehyun thinks.

It’s funny how the tables turn so fast.

 

***

 

When they leave the next day, Youngjae and Daehyun are visibly down. Jaehyun understands that they want to accompany and help them too but Jongup had already informed him in the morning during breakfast that they had a lead on Himchan’s death. Jaehyun couldn’t possibly consider letting them tag along when their only shot at getting closure was at stake.

“Don’t be a stranger, brat.”

Youngjae says, patting him roughly on the shoulder.

“I won’t.”

He leans in to hug him and Jaehyun feels like breathing gets easier as he does so, comfort oozing from the elder man in ripples.

“Daehyun is an idiot and will continue to be but please don’t join the family business,” Youngjae whispers against Jaehyun’s ear before he lets him go.

Jaehyun knows what the elder means. It’s just the Youngjae-way of phrasing things.

Daehyun hesitates before he hugs him. He doesn’t relax either and it’s awkward. He has heard stories of how people meet each other right where they left off, years later and clearly, Jaehyun and his cousin are exceptions.

“Don’t let this,” Daehyun knocks on Jaehyun’s forehead, “get in the way of things. Minds are dangerous, Jaehyun.”

It’s a warning to stay cautious, to not believe everything the head says and coming from a telepath it means so much but factoring in that he is his cousin, it means even more.

Yongguk doesn’t hug anyone except Johnny. It is understandable since the elder had always had a soft spot for Johnny considering the similarities in their backgrounds. Yongguk stays still, simply shaking hands with everyone, ruffling Donghyuck’s hair when it is his turn.

Jongup, however, is an entirely different story. One moment he is smiling at them, eyes curving to thin lines and the next moment, Ten and Doyoung are tackling him in a hug and then, he is breaking down in front of the house, scolding them for not letting him “live for once”, Taeil growing misty-eyed at the sight.

He is the only one who tells Jaehyun what he needs to hear, “You’re by his side. He’ll be fine.”

Jaehyun chokes on a breath but smiles anyway.

Maybe he lingers a little more than necessary even as he gets into the car, eyes still staring at his cousin.

Give me something. Something about Taeyong. Anything will do, he pleads with his face, the window still rolled down.

Daehyun shakes his head, gaze dropping to the ground with guilt.

We can’t win every day.

Jaehyun closes his eyes and starts the car, the engine revving like the raging ocean.

Yukhei finally stops honking.

When Jaehyun looks to the side, feeling Donghyuck’s side-glances on him, there is a bouquet of bright, sunshine yellow dandelions on the dashboard.

He doesn’t have to think too much about what it means.

Jongup is a sneaky bastard.

 

***

 

Coming back to the house Jungwoo and Yukhei share is easier, the road pleasantly calm, visibly less crowded since it’s so early in the morning.

Daehyun had woken them up at fucking five in the morning after all.

Jaehyun’s gaze strays to Donghyuck and the dandelions every so often, some intentional but mostly unintentional.

Taeil stays silent during the entirety of the ride. He is habitually less talkative but this is the first time in years that Taeil doesn’t even bother scolding Jaehyun when he speeds on the mostly empty road whenever he feels like it. It is not a bad call by the Listener for once since driving has always been a sort of stress-reliever for Jaehyun and with the silence; he is finally able to put his thoughts in order.

Not that the conversation with Jungwoo didn’t put things in perspective for him but a good, long silence never hurt anybody.

Donghyuck is visibly tired but Jaehyun catches him smiling at a child who waves at him from inside a car when they stop at a traffic light.

Jaehyun is flooring a corner when he feels Donghyuck grow stiff in his seat, but he doesn’t slow down. The younger is scared of speed, Jaehyun knows, but he has never in his life asked him to slow down.

They are running. Of course, there is no time to slow down.

And Jaehyun is so proud of Donghyuck for being the way he is, for realizing how much they really can’t afford to stop.

Jaehyun remembers when Taeyong used to yell at him to go slow, a much younger Donghyuck panicking in the seat, but never once showing a sign asking him to stop.

Jaehyun brakes in front of Jungwoo and Yukhei’s house, waiting for them to pull in first so that the garage can be opened.

When they finally arrive, Jaehyun leans against the seat and takes a deep breath.

“You have a plan.”

Taeil states, ever so observant, having gotten down first and now standing outside the car, one hand venturing deep into his pocket.

Jaehyun suddenly remembers that it’s only Jungwoo who has been made aware of said plan since he was the only one there when he was having a breakdown at 1 in the night. He shakes his head firmly in approval and gets out, asking his head to keep up.

Donghyuck stays seated inside so Jaehyun goes to the other side of the car and ruffles his hair, the younger groaning while glaring.

 _”Get down.”_  He signs when the younger doesn’t make a move to get out of the car.

Donghyuck gestures for Jaehyun to wait a moment, sighing tiredly.

When he does get down, his legs give out under him and he would have face-planted on the floor, had Jaehyun not been there to hold him up, arms always at the ready for the younger boy. It’s incredibly scary to think that the time they are going to borrow would need to be borrowed fast.

A part of Jaehyun is essentially seething but anger never won anything for anyone and he has bigger problems to deal with; a life to save.

After they’ve all freshened up, all of them looking absolutely wrecked from the lingering exhaustion, it’s time for a discussion again to decide on their game plan. Jaehyun doesn’t beat around the bush, choosing to be upfront about the strategy.

“Finding a Looper is gonna be hard.”

Taeil says, the voice of reason.

“Not as hard as finding Donghyuck’s Half.”

Doyoung retorts, not willing to kill the hope that has bloomed now that they have just as efficient a backup plan as they needed.

“We need to actively start looking for both actually. Better safe than sorry.”

Johnny says, rolling the Rubik’s cube in his hand. He is nervous, Jaehyun can tell. The speed with which he moves the cube’s squares in place is inhuman but no one can expect anything else from a speedster.

Donghyuck gestures for Johnny to throw him the cube. He doesn’t even hesitate before throwing the cube across to him, putting his hand inside his pocket to get a smaller but different cube.

A mirror cube.

“So, the question is, does anyone know any Loopers?”

Ten puts forward the question as if he already knows the answer.

It’s not that hard to figure out when no one answers.

Jungwoo flicks nervous glances at Yukhei who looks tense in his seat, face impassive. Jaehyun doesn’t know how an expressive person like Yukhei becomes so hard to read sometimes.

“I knew one...” Jungwoo pauses, clearing his throat, sucking in a breath as if in preparation to say the next words.

“But he was stabbed to death after he worked along with HOAX. Serves him right.”

Yukhei’s voice is monotone, like a part of him is switched off; as if he is reading things from a page he doesn’t know he has written.

“Yukhei!” Jungwoo springs up in the chair and calls out, more hurt than angry.

Yukhei doesn’t react for second before he turns his head slowly to look at the telepath.

“Sit down, hyung. How long are you gonna love a man who is dead? Especially someone who didn’t think twice before he ratted you out?”

Jungwoo sits down. He is red in the face and Jaehyun sees the tears form, obviously hurt by Yukhei’s words.

The room is silent for a few minutes. Jaehyun sees the regret bloom on Yukhei’s face like a wildflower.

“I knew one but he is dead.”

Jungwoo says, picking the conversation off from where he left it, like nothing happened even if his eyes are still shining with unshed tears.

Yukhei opens his mouth and closes it.

“Alive Loopers, anyone?”

Ten asks, looking around.

_”Didn’t Yuta hyung know one?”_

Donghyuck asks when they end up staring at each other for a long tense moment.

“She’s dead, Donghyuck. There was a raid in the area she lived and she didn’t make it out alive.”

Johnny replies.

Donghyuck flinches slightly as the words register. Jaehyun knows that it’s because he had met her once. They had stayed at her apartment for a day when they had to split up.

Yukhei sits a little straighter on the floor.

“I know someone who might know a Looper if you’re willing to take a chance.” The end is phrased like a question. Jungwoo looks at the teleporter, confusion on his face as he tries to figure out who Yukhei is talking about.

“Hyung, Chenle.”

Yukhei says, a small smile on his face.

“He’s not a Looper but there’s this guy he knows called Jeno. He is in a triple bond with two Loopers, if I’m right.”

Taeil is the one who speaks up next, in awe.

“A double Looper bond? Wow!”

Yukhei nods, unsure.

“It’s worth a shot but this Che--,”Johnny struggles with the name, “—this boy you’re talking about, is he worth trusting?”

“Yeah! He saved me from a raid once. I was injured and he knew I would slow him down but he still helped. We’ve been in touch since then.” Yukhei says.

It’s probably Doyoung’s mom instincts that kick in when he asks, “So this boy stays alone? Or does he have people for backup? It’s not safe for people like us to be alone.”

“He stays with Jeno and his bond mates and this other boy called Jisung. I’m not sure if there’s anyone else with them.”

Doyoung nods, apparently satisfied.

_”How did you get hurt?”_

Donghyuck signs, everyone in the room turning to him with wide eyes.

Yukhei smirks and Jaehyun sees the cogs turning in Donghyuck’s head saying “Shouldn’t have asked that!”

Yukhei’s smirk shifts to a shit-eating grin as he tilts his head at Donghyuck in an attempt to look cute. Donghyuck isn’t amused.

“Awww, Sparkles, are you possibly worried about me?” Yukhei coos with his deep voice and had Jaehyun not gotten used to the way Johnny goes bipolar on them sometimes, he would probably be shocked.

_”Watch it.”_

Has Jaehyun ever talked about how he feels like he is Donghyuck’s father? Well, if he hasn’t, you know now, and he’s a very proud one at that.

Yukhei clutches his heart dramatically.

“You hurt me but since you asked so nicely, I’ll let you know. Some guys ruffled my feathers in a club in the area. I had some business there and I was new to the area so I didn’t know where to teleport to. Long story short, I got hurt and I ran and he found me.”

Donghyuck looks satisfied at the explanation but Jaehyun hears and sees much more in the way Jungwoo pretty much freezes in his seat despite being angry at Yukhei.

Stories. So many stories.

“Where does he live? Is there any way to contact this boy?”

Yukhei scratches his head in response.

“I know a couple of his safe houses but he hasn’t given me a number so we’re gonna have to go in blind.”

Jaehyun stares at him for a second, waiting for him to snort and say “Gotcha!” or something equally plausible.

“Wait, you’re serious.”

Doyoung thinks out loud.

“Unfortunately.”

“This is gonna become a wild goose chase. Damn it!”

Johnny exclaims, voice loud. He runs a hand through his hair in frustration, Ten’s hand finding residence on his shoulder, cube forgotten on the coffee table.

“It’s the only plan we have now,” Taeil states, eyes closed as he leans back on the couch, looking too calm for someone who just realized that they’re going to have to keep running, faster than they were already.

“When do we leave?”

Jaehyun asks, prepared to leave then and there.

“Evening.”

Taeil declares, hands pinching the bridge of his nose, but still calm.

Quiet approval resounds in the hallway, the clouds clearing outside, the light streaming into the room.

Yukhei makes a sound of wonder. Jaehyun turns to him.

“What?”

Jaehyun asks.

Yukhei points at Donghyuck who is sitting with his eyes closed, mimicking Taeil, the light falling on his face in just the right way, his skin brighter and healthier looking than the day before.

“He’s really sparkling,” Yukhei says.

Jaehyun groans and for a moment he wants to tell the taller boy again that Donghyuck has a Half, someone he is destined to be with, someone he will love like no other. He faces Yukhei whose gaze is still hooked on Donghyuck and opens his mouth to tell him exactly that but then Yukhei smiles, and he stops himself from blurting out the things the other already knows.

Let it be, he thinks.

Let him be, for a little more.

 

***

 

Then, it begins.

Hours and hours of knocking on every Able’s door with no clue as to who might be the one they are looking for, of more frustration than actual solution, of crying in bathrooms and fake smiling in cars, of dying inside and living outside.

The days that follow are nothing like they envisaged. If they thought that hearing about the things Donghyuck hid away was hard, seeing them happen right in front of them is almost unbearable.

Yukhei used to be the only one who could handle it the first couple of times, the others staying frozen in their spots, unable to decide on whether to start sobbing or to help. But in the course of three weeks, they have all learnt.

It was a necessity.

Donghyuck became visibly weaker, so much that some days even breathing was hard for him but he never complained.

They met a few Healers on the way, two of them healing what they could but there was no sign of a Looper or a Fault whom they were looking for.

The run they were on seemed hopeless.

Jaehyun sighs, putting away the black bracelet, now fixed, on the table and stands with his hand rooted on the windowsill, heart growing heavier at the onslaught of hopelessness.

“Maybe we need God, Jaehyun.”

Taeil’s face doesn’t betray his thoughts. Jaehyun is looking at an empty field.

“Like he is waiting to help us.”

Jaehyun can’t help the mocking tone in his words, the corner of his lips lifting viciously.

_You were born like this because God never wanted you._

He has heard it far too many times to ever forget. His dad always called him special because of his powers but the things the others said is still carved on the insides of what remains of his heart.

It doesn’t help to carry wounds of your past in the back of your mind but for Jaehyun, it is extremely necessary. It gives him the power to move forward, to never stop; a reminder of how cruel the world was and still is, no mercy shown even to a crying seven-year-old who teleported for the first time at a playground, going home tucked close to his father’s chest, crying from the stones thrown at him, at the names he was called, unaware of why he was a cute kid the day before and a monster the other.

Maybe they need God. Jaehyun’s face twists into a sick smile again.

The same God who never wanted him?

The same God who watched all that happen and didn’t do shit?

The same God who stood by as Donghyuck’s parents abandoned him outside an orphanage when he was four years old because he calmed down his mom’s breakdown with his powers?

The same God who still watches and yet does nothing when thousands of people like them are hunted down every day like monsters, forever damned to a life of running, with no home, with no privilege to feel even the slightest of mercy?

That same God?

“I know what you’re thinking.”

Taeil says, placating, as if Jaehyun is a child that is throwing a tantrum.

“Of course you do.”

He says, the wooden frame under his hands burning from his secondary ability, one that he has left even after Taeyong’s stunt.

“We’ll have to pay if you set the hotel on fire,” Taeil states, unbothered with the fumes rising from the burnt wood.

“I’ve been hearing hymns all day, Jaehyun. There’s a church three miles away from here. Maybe it’s a sign. Maybe praying is all that’s left to be done now.”

Jaehyun doesn’t respond for a minute or so.

“It’s your pick. We leave tomorrow evening anyway. The church is on the way. Stop by if you feel like it.”

It might sound like there’s a choice in Taeil’s words but you don’t know him like Jaehyun does. He knows exactly what the Listener expects him to do. Taeil is aware of what Jaehyun’s pick is going to be as well.

Day chases night like a predator does a prey.

Jaehyun can’t help wonder if time has a grudge.

 

***

 

Jaehyun puts the car in reverse, parking it in the spot allotted for visitors just opposite the huge structure with stained, yellowing glass and awe-invoking polished stones. He gets out of the car, waiting for Donghyuck and Taeil to join.

“We’re gonna stay here. You guys go ahead.”

Ten says. It sounds more like “I’m gonna sit my atheist ass right here while you go and do your thing.”

No one can blame Ables for not believing in Gods when part of the blame they get is because of the same, so-called omnipotent entity.

It isn’t like Jaehyun believes in God either but Taeil has had this vision for a reason and he would be damned if he let that go because his nonexistent religious views got in the way.

At this point, everything is fair game.

Every possibility is one worth looking over.

Donghyuck puts a hand on his shoulder.

_”The giant is not gonna come?”_

He turns to look at Yukhei’s car inside of which Jungwoo sits with a dazed look in the passenger seat, Yukhei leaning over and poking around in the dashboard. The telepath is staring at the back of Johnny’s car, clearly zoning out.

“You coming?”

He asks, even though he has a feeling that he already knows the answer.

“Got it!!”

Yukhei shouts then, emerging with a pair of air pods, said item looking hilariously tiny in his gargantuan hands.

Jaehyun repeats the question at the head tilt he gets from Yukhei, understanding that Jungwoo is lost in wonderland, incapable of responding to him.

“No thanks, man. God and I haven’t been talking since forever. Barging into an ex’s house like that? Blasphemy!”

He gags after it, tongue lolling out like a dog, tilting his head to the side, eyes rolling to the back, trying to imitate a dead person.

Taeil snorts, turning away making Jaehyun shake his head at Yukhei and do the same.

Standing at the entrance, Jaehyun can already smell the thick, relaxing aroma of incense and scented candles. The interior is ornate, the ceiling so far away from the ground that it creates an illusion of space, making the place seem larger than it is already.

On either side of the trio, there are rows and rows of polished wooden pews, arranged in straight lines. The altar is only a small spot from the extreme back; the chancel on which it stands built with tiles the shade of snow. Jaehyun doesn’t walk to the front, taking up place in the third last row, not wanting to get too close to God, in all the ways that it can be interpreted.

There are barely any people in the church and the few who are, have seated themselves in the extreme front. Jaehyun sighs in relief.

The moments that follow are, albeit tremendously hard for Jaehyun to admit, undeniably the most peaceful he has felt in a long time even if the overpowering incense scent permeating the air irritates the hell out of his sensitive nose.

The mood completely shifts, however, as Jaehyun sees a priest walking towards them, face revealing poorly-hidden animosity. He puts a hand on Taeil’s thigh to make him open his eyes.

Taeil eyes the priest but doesn’t move.

Donghyuck sits as taut as a pulled bowstring as the priest finally reaches them.

“You have five minutes. Get out before I call the authorities.”

Donghyuck gets up in anger but Taeil stops him with a hand.

Jaehyun regrets putting on the leather jacket. It must have been a dead giveaway. Who wears “rebel clothes” to church?

“Is that what is written in the Holy Bible, Father?”

Jaehyun asks, his gaze unwavering, mouth running off again on its own tangent.

“Don’t test my patience, young man. I could easily ask anyone to report you and you will never see the light of day again. There is no place for the cursed in His holy ground.”

It’s a threat, a very strong one. Taeil glares at the priest.

“We’ll leave,” Taeil tells the priest, pulling Jaehyun and Donghyuck and walking towards the entrance.

But the Listener stops just as they pass the threshold, turning back with a smile.

“You said there’s no place for the cursed in His holy ground, then why are you still here? The merciless ones are also destined to be damned, aren’t they?”

Jaehyun and Donghyuck smirk at the words, watching the priest seethe in anger.

Churches are advised to ignore Ables after all.

Donghyuck is literally jumping in excitement despite being intensely exhausted in the last couple of days as they walk out of the church. He takes a look around and as if satisfied with what he finds, he puts an arm around Taeil’s shoulders and tickles him with the other, making the elder giggle rather loudly.

Jaehyun can’t help the smile on his face. Maybe the vision had meant nothing but that one-liner from Taeil is the highlight of his day.

_”Why are you so perfect, hyung? Like, did you see the priest’s face? He looked like he got served. He’ll never forget that one time a tiny man looked at him in the face and called him a dick.”_

Donghyuck walks backwards, facing Taeil and Jaehyun, sounds resembling giggling tumbling from his mouth.

 _”I didn’t call him a dick, you brat.”_  Taeil signs, a grin on his face, contrary to his words.

_”The art of interpretation, hyung.”_

Donghyuck signs, walking a little faster to avoid being caught by Taeil.

Jaehyun and Taeil are far too behind when there’s a loud horn, a huge truck approaching the road.

They don’t notice that Donghyuck has been walking backwards again, straight to the road.

Jaehyun looks at the truck and blinks, eyes widening, turning to look at Donghyuck, yelling at him and the younger tilts his head, the remnants of a smile still lingering on his face, watching him attentively as Jaehyun runs to him.

The truck rushes past, honking loudly, sounds of doors slamming shut filling Jaehyun’s ears. His hands still stay suspended in the air, outstretched for Donghyuck to grab on to.

His legs give up on him and he drops to his knees.

He doesn’t know how many people are yelling for Donghyuck.

There’s a sound of a strong wind next to him coupled along with crackling.

Then, a man dressed in all black appears with his arm around Donghyuck’s waist, both their hair wind-tousled.

An Able, Jaehyun realizes. A teleporter to be specific.

And he just saved Donghyuck’s life.

Donghyuck is fine.

He gets up in a hurry, too many emotions hitting him at once.

“Donghyuck! You scared me. You could have died, you idiot.”

He yells, seeing Doyoung and the others run across the road from the corner of his eye.

The new-comer winces at the volume but doesn’t let Donghyuck go, the younger looking particularly winded, pressed close to the teleporter’s body like that.

He extends a hand to Jaehyun with confidence but there’s a longing visible in the set of his eyes.

“I’m Mark.”

He says, relaxing his hold on Donghyuck as he introduces himself.

Jaehyun opens his mouth to promise him his life in return for saving Donghyuck but the boy, apparently, isn’t done as he smiles.

“And you’re Jaehyun hyung.”

Jaehyun doesn’t remember ever meeting this boy before. He looks to Donghyuck, but the boy firmly shakes his head in denial.

Doyoung pulls Donghyuck to the side gently; eyes full of concern but Jaehyun cannot drag his gaze away from Mark even as he hears the whispers from the gang.

“How do you know me?”

Mark smiles again. Johnny and Yukhei hover behind Mark, unsure if he has bad intentions or not even if he just saved Donghyuck.

Jaehyun feels Taeil gasp beside him and sees Johnny’s deep brown eyes widen in shock, fixed on something behind Jaehyun.

“Jaehyunnie, it’s been a long time.”

A voice says, teary and cracking, but somehow still managing to sound euphoric.

Jaehyun whips around like he has just heard a ghost.

There, dressed in a familiar grey sweater, looking like he is standing smack dab in the centre of the church’s entrance, parallel to the altar where the all-knowing man rests from where Jaehyun is standing, is the God of Jaehyun’s fate.

His Half. His everything.

Taeyong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (CUE EVIL GUFFAWS)
> 
> PS : If you caught that lyric reference from Wake Me Up by BAP, you are the real MVP.


	7. A Reunion, Some Bonding and a Brawl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long-ass chapter!!! I hope you guys enjoy!!! Happy reading!

Jaehyun feels like his insides burn with the kind of inferno which is capable of demolishing cities, taking lives of the old and the young, the kind that kills greenery, leaving nothing but blackened wood. It spreads quickly and he blinks once at Taeyong. His palms heat up, painless, his pyrokinetic veins reacting to the only man whose heartbeat syncs with his. He simply stares at the love of his life and blinks twice, ears half-listening to Ten mouthing something to Donghyuck. He flicks his gaze to Johnny whose jaw is pursed, eyes intense.

There are tears rolling down Taeyong’s smooth cheeks, a bruise near his lip and a cut next to his eyebrow. Jaehyun’s gaze rakes over the other’s form, noticing the purple knuckles, heart aching in a distant way, wishing to feel the pain as if it is his, like they used to two years ago. Taeyong looks like he always does, sharp and soft all at the same time.

“Jaehyunnie...”

Taeyong’s voice is soft, almost a whisper. The others keep silent. It’s like the silence amplifies the whisper into a scream and Jaehyun can’t hold on anymore.

They must be creating a scene, a group of Ables standing together in front of a church and having a stare-down but Jaehyun can’t focus, thoughts flitting between a broken bracelet, gentle morning kisses, a sense of dread and bare hands ripping at a bond created solely with love.

He freezes, wanting to do something but not knowing what, mind finally registering how the man he has loved and will continue to love stands here in front of him, waiting for Jaehyun’s arms to welcome him back.

But Jaehyun isn’t ready. He needs a moment.

He whips around and crosses the road, sprinting to his car. He hurriedly gets in but in the time he takes fumbling with the keys, Johnny speeds to his car and gets in the passenger seat.

Jaehyun wants to ask him to leave him alone but what he also wants is to flee as soon as possible so that he can clear his head.

“Go on.”

Johnny’s face gives away nothing but Jaehyun doesn’t care. He doesn’t turn back to look at Taeyong as he pulls away from the parking space. The rear view mirror, however, does the job for him, Taeyong’s tear-streaked gaze reflecting on it, Mark’s hand on the other’s shoulder.

He drives around for about an hour, maybe more, finally pulling over at an abandoned garage they used to visit. Johnny stays completely silent, not moving an inch, not that Jaehyun would have noticed even if he did.

There are three cars, all three in a state of complete ruin in front of the garage. There are climbers and creepers covering the yellowing glass windows. The name board has faded into just a plain surface, brownish around the edges and caked with dirt and rust.

The mechanic was like them, an Able. He helped them with anything and everything whenever they were in town. One such visit had Jaehyun and Johnny pushing the door open to see the dreaded message displayed on a digital board on the wall.

**THREAT ELIMINATED: ABLE: ELECTROKINESIS: HOAX**

Not just a message to tell them that he was dead but also a warning that they _knew_.

Jaehyun returns to the present but doesn’t get out of the car, neither does he pull the key out of the ignition. Johnny turns to him after a few minutes have passed, leaning over and twisting the key, the engine finally dying down.

“Are they going to go back to...”

“Jungwoo’s house. I told them to,” Johnny interrupts.

Jaehyun nods, letting out a heavy exhale.

“Jaehyun, you’re burning the steering.”

Jaehyun response is delayed but he pulls his hands away from the steering wheel, his senses finally aware of the pungent smell of burnt leather. His hands shake but the pain is only a blur.

It’ll heal, he decides. Johnny frowns at him.

“He’s back, hyung.”

Jaehyun’s chokes on those words, a sob escaping his mouth. Johnny stares at the dilapidated building in front of them, staying unresponsive, letting Jaehyun cry for the few minutes that follow.

“He is.” He agrees, after several moments too long.

“I don’t know how to... I’m so angry and disappointed but God all I wanna do is just pull him close and tell him I love him but I...”

“Then why don’t you do that? You’ve killed yourself every day thinking about him, so why don’t you just let the pain end here? He’ll answer all your questions, Jaehyun. Give him a chance.”

Johnny’s being rational but Jaehyun has hurt so much and even though Taeyong can solve it all, he wants to run away a little more, when just a few hours ago, his earnest wishes were to get him back.

“He didn’t give me a chance, hyung. He had a hundred choices in front of him but he still chose to leave me alone.”

Johnny sighs, a mixture of disappointment and a tiny bit of anger. Jaehyun is used to it.

“How do you know he had a hundred choices? What if the only choice he had was leaving you behind?”

Jaehyun punches the steering wheel in a sudden burst of anger before he bends over, forehead resting on it, tears running their course.

They have had the same conversation a million times before. The elder has always tried to show him the logical side of it, to make him see or at least try to understand what Taeyong’s situation could have been when he did what he did but Jaehyun refuses to understand, pretends like he doesn’t get it even when he does.

Forgiveness is something Jaehyun doesn’t give away so easily, yet with Taeyong it’s as easy as letting the rain wash over him or letting the waves take away the sand under his feet.

Should forgiving him be this easy?

 A part of him adamantly asks; the part that has taken the beatings for the man inside him who was left shattered after Taeyong left.

Jaehyun doesn’t realize he has voiced his thoughts out loud until Johnny responds.

“It should be. You weren’t the only one who suffered,” the long-haired man pauses, “He did too.”

That’s answer enough.

Or Jaehyun declares it enough because his insides scream for Taeyong and he isn’t one to let anger keep himself away from the man who was made for him. 

When Johnny puts the car in reverse and pulls away after a small argument about Jaehyun’s burned hand, things are a little less hazy, a gigantic improvement from how it has been since a two-year-long forever.

Jaehyun feels the elder man’s hand squeeze his shoulder.

He closes his eyes for momentary darkness, opening them only for bright sunlight to pierce into them, light filling the crevices of his heart shrouded in misery.

The fire burns but it no longer eats at him. It’s warm and Jaehyun knows exactly why it is so.

After all, he’s always loved fire more than the light.

 

***

 

Yukhei watches Jungwoo unlock the door with the key, posture tense and breaths inconsistent. He fumbles for the millionth time and Yukhei steps forward, placing his hand on the other’s and coaxes the cold piece of metal from him.

When they step inside the house, Jungwoo walks to the kitchen and plops on the chair adjacent to the dining table. They had collectively taken a decision to split up so as to not draw too much attention after Jaehyun stormed away, Johnny leaving with him.

Yukhei frowns at the telepath. He proceeds to sit down opposite the elder and looks at him for another moment.

“Hyung,” Yukhei calls out but when there’s no response he extends his hand and places it on top of Jungwoo’s looped ones. The elder looks up with tears in his eyes.

Yukhei is taken aback.

“Hyung, what’s wrong?”

Jungwoo shakes his head and opens his mouth to say something but Yukhei sees the struggle on his face and he grips the other’s hand tighter.

“Tell me what’s wrong. Please,” he begs earnestly.

“There was so much going on. I was so overwhelmed. Everyone was thinking miles a minute... Donghyuck could have died... and Jaehyun hyung loves Taeyong hyung so much and... I... I didn’t wanna read their thoughts but everyone was thinking too much and I felt everything and it just hit me so hard. I’m glad Taeyong hyung came back. It’s... they... all of them... they love each other so much and I just...”

Yukhei smiles at the other, feeling his heart warm. How can a person be so lovely, crying at seeing the bond between other people?

“They do. I’m glad Taeyong hyung came back too.” Yukhei is certain that those aren’t the right words but his mouth has always failed him in crucial situations. So it doesn’t come as a surprise when he feels a little at a loss for words and when he drags his gaze away from their hands, Jungwoo is staring at him with a little worry and a lot of love.

“You know I love you, right?” he pauses, choking out another sob, voice wrecked, probably having figured out Yukhei’s inner musings, “That I might have met you just a year ago but I love you like I do a little brother? That I’m so grateful for what you did to help me? That I’ll die for you if need be?” He pauses, eyes full with so much fondness that Yukhei nods immediately because he knows how much Jungwoo needs him to agree, to get reassurance that he’s doing a good job at taking care of him.

“I’ll never be able to give you what you lost, Xuxi, but I’ll do all that I can because I love you and I’m sorry that I don’t say that enough.” Jungwoo’s voice cracks pitifully, a sob escaping him making Yukhei squeeze their hands together.

Yukhei feels tears sting the back of his eyes the more he watches Jungwoo freely sobbing in front of him. If they had to go back in time, Yukhei would do it a million times all over again for the telepath in front of him.

“I love you too, hyung,” he breathes out, trying his best to convey all the love he has for the elder. Words are hard but he needs Jungwoo to know and if voicing it out loud is the only way, then he will.

Jungwoo smiles at him, knowing how hard it is for Yukhei to be vocal about his real feelings. The elder’s face is still shiny as he gets up from his seat and he goes to the kitchen right after, wiping the tears away. Yukhei stares at the ceiling, thoughts racing, imagining the explosion bound to happen as soon as the gang arrives.

Yukhei sighs as he hears cars pulling up on the driveway. He straightens up, tapping twice on the table before pulling himself up to his full height. As much as he hated it, there were things to be sorted out and a lot of clarifications were in order.

Doyoung and Ten look incredibly tense, the taller’s eyes suspiciously red but face impassive. Donghyuck sticks with Taeil, the Listener looking incredibly relieved, stealing glances at Taeyong and the other teleporter, Mark, every few seconds.

Jungwoo inhales deeply and smiles at them, lips stretching so wide that Yukhei winces.

“Why don’t you guys sit down?”

Jungwoo’s voice is so fake cheery that Yukhei throws him a weird look but it seems like the right thing to do to break through the wall of silence because what follows is a painfully hilarious scene of the gang gesturing at each other and going to sit on a seat only to see the others heading in the same direction. There is a faded wave of contemplating hums and non-committal noises. Yukhei would be rolling on the floor laughing if not for the existence of societal conventions and proper manners.

Not that he followed them all the time because hey, he’s a rebel and when he says fuck the system, he means fuck the system.

“Did Johnny hyung call yet?”

Jungwoo asks, the question directed at Doyoung and Ten. They shake their heads in a negative.

Yukhei draws his gaze away to look at Donghyuck who is sitting between Doyoung and Taeil, his blank gaze fixed on his fingers. Yukhei looks around and catches Mark sneaking glances at the boy, curiosity and adoration clear in his wide eyes.

He looks like a dumb idiot.

Yukhei writes the other off immediately. Mark chooses to rip his gaze away from Donghyuck then, looking at Yukhei with soft eyes first, a remainder of the look he was giving the tan-skinned boy, before an intensity and what seems to be an attempt to intimidate Yukhei takes over.

Interesting.

Yukhei smirks at the other, watching the other teleporter’s right-hand clench in a fist. Yukhei almost snorts at the palpable hostility. Mark doesn’t look amused but that’s okay because Yukhei isn’t either.

Donghyuck snaps out of his reverie and smiles at Yukhei, throwing him off guard. He follows it up with a hesitant look towards Mark who promptly gives the other a deer in the headlights look. Yukhei chokes down the snort, making Mark turn to him again, his expression conveying that he isn’t impressed.

Yukhei turns his attention away from the scene, staring at Jungwoo’s bookshelf on the wall, a thin layer of dust covering it. He indulges in staring at the ceiling when no one moves to either attempt a conversation or take the initiative to show the others around.

Taeyong squirms in his seat and raises his head up, opening his mouth, closing it and opening it again. He faces Jungwoo and Yukhei with a tiny curve of his lips dipped in gratitude.

“I’m Taeyong... and this is Mark. Thank you for letting us stay here.”

He is incredibly polite, at least he sounds so, his voice a dead giveaway to how sincere he is. Yukhei observes the petite man a little more and something about him screams pain, both a giver and a taker. It’s amusing but Yukhei has enough sense to know that the reason why the gang is so silent now and how their dynamics have changed over the years is all because of the absence of this one man.

Things are awkward, the air stuffed with a million complaints, apologies, explanations, and just about everything that is humanly possible to build up when someone just goes ahead and leaves for two long years. But even without Jaehyun and Johnny with them, without clarifications being provided, Yukhei can see the way the man evens things out, a perfect empath, an upholder of sense, sensibility and sensitivity.

“Please don’t mention it. We’re glad to. I’m Jungwoo. This is Yukhei.” Jungwoo gestures at Yukhei as he says it and a small, warm smile is directed at him.

Yukhei’s head spins for a second before he reciprocates with a wider smile of his own. It’s like he has seen something like this, known someone like him before. Jungwoo looks at him suddenly but Yukhei shakes his head in a subtle manner, waving away the worry in the telepath’s mind.

“You’re tiny,” Yukhei blurts out, making Ten glare at the side of his head, Taeyong looking at him with wide eyes that bellow surprise.

Jungwoo sighs in defeat when Taeyong snaps his head to look at him. Yukhei feels Ten’s glare lessen in intensity not that he cares(maybe he does). Donghyuck’s lips curve up into a smile and Yukhei shrugs.

“Is that supposed to be relevant?” Mark asks, on behalf of Taeyong and okay, he doesn’t like this guy.

“Perhaps,” Yukhei drawls, “Is your presence supposed to be relevant?” He asks, sitting up straight in his seat from the noodle-like situation he was in. Mark frowns at him, gritting his teeth.

“Listen, you prick,” Mark starts, basically thrumming with anger and maybe, Yukhei is enjoying this a little too much.

“Calm your tits, Patrick,” Yukhei drawls again, trying his best to sound unamused.

Jungwoo coughs, Yukhei turning to him to be met with a pleading look. Yukhei shrugs again and turns his head. Donghyuck’s smile has faded away, a frown replacing it and perhaps, a little annoyance.

What’s new?

“I’m not Patrick, you fu-“

“Boys.”

Doyoung’s voice interrupts Mark, the other teleporter backing down without completing his words.

“I’m sorry for calling you tiny, Taeyong-ssi. I thought you’d be taller, for some reason.” Yukhei explains, scratching his head, praising himself inside for acting like a civil person.

Taeyong shakes his head, waving away the apology. His gaze flits around the room and Yukhei can see that both the newcomers are incredibly wiped out from the constant travelling. Even Mark, despite acting like a feral cat, looks like he’ll collapse any moment but just as Yukhei is about to suggest some rest, Taeyong manoeuvres the conversation to an unexpected territory.

“It’s okay but if you don’t mind, can you tell me about your... uh... abilities?”

Taeyong, Yukhei realizes, despite looking like a mild-mannered man is shockingly straight to the point. Whenever you meet a fellow Able, this question is supposed to be the obvious follow-up but Yukhei rarely asks anyone about their abilities. Not that he doesn’t want to know because it’s the only time he feels normal. Nonetheless, Yukhei appreciates Taeyong’s need for transparency.

“I’m a telepath. My secondary ability is electrokinesis.” Jungwoo answers, slowly but surely warming up to the strangers.

“I’m a teleporter,” Yukhei says when Taeyong looks at him with a look of expectation.

“Mark here is a teleporter too!” Taeyong exclaims, making Yukhei quirk an eyebrow at him because bro, he knows because he swooped in like a knight in shining armour right when Yukhei was about to teleport. Taeyong continues, “He can do a fair bit of healing too. I used to be a telepath but since... since the bond broke, my secondary ability is covering for me. I’m atmokinetic but I can do temperature manipulation too.”

Longing fills the room from the petite man and Yukhei gets it. Maybe not completely but he does. He is not a Fault and he doesn’t know much about bonds. He doesn’t understand how people can trust and love someone so much that they reach a point where even their feelings intertwine.

It’s intense, he thinks but looking at Taeyong and the rest of the gang, the most Halves he has seen at once, he comes to a conclusion.

Maybe it’s not that bad to love someone so intimately that your heart beats sync with theirs. Yukhei’s eyes find Donghyuck but he flicks his gaze away at lightning speed.

Donghyuck isn’t Yukhei’s, he knows. Donghyuck flits his gaze to Mark who scratches his neck, ears tipped red and Yukhei realizes that he will never be. There isn’t the slightest chance that he can even acknowledge the feeling that has taken over his chest now that Mark is here.

He isn’t an idiot.

He knows exactly who Mark is to Donghyuck. Taeyong hasn’t told them the story yet but it is entirely unnecessary at this point because his instincts tell him the tale and that’s more than enough.

Maybe it hurts a little. Maybe a little too much.

Jungwoo throws him a look of sympathy, hand squeezing his thigh. Yukhei musters up a smile for him, internal conflicts pushed aside. The telepath looks like he wants to say something but he doesn’t dare vocalize it in the presence of the others.

Ten stretches like a cat and rises to his feet, Doyoung’s attention drawn to the door suddenly and just like Yukhei predicts, a car pulls up outside.

Mark and Taeyong look at each other, squeezing their hands together before the other teleporter loosens his hold on the elder. Taeyong inhales loudly.

“The truth, Taeyong.” Taeil smoothes down Donghyuck’s hair once as he says it before he directs his face to peer at Taeyong. “He’ll need the truth. Everything there is to it.”

Taeyong nods hesitantly, looking at Donghyuck with a look of dejection, the tan-skinned boy ducking his head to watch the floor instead.

He won’t talk to Taeyong unless they, as in Jaehyun and Taeyong talk it out, Yukhei realizes belatedly. The more he thinks about it, the more he understands.

Johnny opens the door, pausing there, sending a small reassuring smile to Taeyong before he twists his head to the side.

Jaehyun’s steps are slow but they echo a kind of conviction and it is more than enough for Yukhei to know what his decision is, not that he thought Jaehyun was, no offence intended, strong enough to choose to leave Taeyong even when the elder had done that to him.

Taeyong takes a step forward, Ten stopping him with a hand on his wrist when Johnny shakes his head at one of his Halves, still hovering near the door even as he shuts it as if scared that Jaehyun just might run away again.  The petite telepath looks down at Ten’s hand on his wrist, warm tears cascading down.

Jaehyun doesn’t look at Taeyong, staring at the floor for a whole minute, Yukhei counts, before he raises his head up, eyes red and swollen. Yukhei sees the way his palms are raw like he burned himself but he dare not say anything because burns are secondary at this moment.

“I want to talk to you. But only if you tell me everything and promise to not leave me like I’m that easy to abandon-,” Jaehyun pauses to take a breath, “because I can’t take it and I would die now than lose you again.”

Yukhei feels a ball of sadness lodge in his throat because those are probably the only things Jaehyun is scared of in his life and putting it out there like that, accusing the love of his life but also pleading him to not do it again, in a room filled with people, is the ultimate act of love. Perhaps the only one that counts and if he were Jaehyun, his choice of words would have been different but this is perfect.

This is Jaehyun forgiving Taeyong. It’s how it should start again. Their second chance.

Taeyong nods quickly, unbothered about the tears, smiling wetly.  Jaehyun’s expression crumbles and in the second it takes for Yukhei to blink, they both meet each other in a tight hug.

It’s so intimate, the way they hug each other. There’s desperation, a whole lot of love, regrets and a messed up conundrum of emotions being conveyed in the single show of affection and Yukhei wants to drag his gaze away, feeling like an intruder but not finding it in himself to actually do so. It’s kind of unconventional too because Jaehyun is much taller than Taeyong, yet he leans down to fit his face in the crook of the elder’s neck, burned hands around the man like a wall of protection. Taeyong’s thin fingers find home in Jaehyun’s hair, petting it softly.

Taeil smiles proudly at the pair, eyes shining with unshed tears. Doyoung and Ten cry silently, watching Jaehyun and Taeyong with so much affection that Yukhei feels his eyes immediately being dragged to Jungwoo who wipes his face multiple times, trying to stop himself from crying. It’s a lost cause, Yukhei knows because the other is probably hearing every thought inside their heads and it must be overwhelming.

Donghyuck and Mark don’t cry at all which comes as a surprise to Yukhei because he expected both of them to just burst into tears the moment the pair reunited. He probably shouldn’t have made a conclusion so fast when he doesn’t know much about the both of them.

So maybe even thinking about them as “both of them” stings a little but Yukhei decides to roll with it. He might as well get used to it if he’s going to be bombarded with it everywhere from now on.

The pair separates eventually and Yukhei looks at Johnny who beams so widely at him that he frowns. Johnny shrugs and it comes as an afterthought, but this is probably the first time that Yukhei has ever seen the speedster smile so wide.

The occasion calls for it though, so he understands.

It’s the end of an era of pain, of feeling lost, of trying to keep a promise that literally meant that they were waiting for Godot, of not knowing if Taeyong would ever make it back to Jaehyun, of two years consisting of waking up and hoping desperately for him to be breathing. The gang’s happiness is warranted, well-deserved in fact because even if he has known them for a measly number of weeks, Yukhei has seen their souls, glanced at their hearts only to be surprised with the purity they uphold.

Jaehyun pulls Taeyong softly by the wrist to the room, the elder following willingly.

There’s a lot to talk about, after all.

The gang needs an explanation, a big one, but they let them go, knowing who comes first.

“So that was anticlimactic,” Yukhei says.

“It was a long time coming,” Doyoung explains, voice still coming out a little airy from the crying. Ten pats at his back and Yukhei catches Johnny smiling again, this time with pride from where he seats himself on the ground.

It’s an interesting dynamic. Doyoung and Ten are not a thing which is common in triple bonds because there is usually only one person who links to the other two, Johnny being the common variable in theirs. Yukhei has never seen someone in a triple bond or interacted with any so it amuses him a bit too much.

“We’ll let them talk it out now.” Johnny yawns right after.

Mark sits down timidly and clears his throat when he feels Ten’s attention zoom on him.

“So, Mark, is it?” Ten asks, voice teasing. Mark squirms.

Perhaps, Yukhei loves the way Ten is intimidating without doing much. Or maybe it’s just satisfaction rising from the fact that Mark seems to be uncomfortable under the other’s scrutinizing gaze.

Perhaps he knows the exact reason of the two.

“Uh... Yeah.”

Yukhei feels a grin stretch his face. Donghyuck flicks his gaze between him and Mark.

This’ll be fun, Yukhei thinks.

Donghyuck glares at him as if warning him to not go with whatever plan he is formulating.

I’m sorry, Sparkles, Yukhei thinks and claps his hands together.

 

***

 

Jaehyun tries to keep his hands from trembling as he grips Taeyong’s thin wrist, the other following willingly to the room. When they finally reach the room, Jaehyun shuts the door and presses his forehead against the shiny wooden barrier, loosening his grip on his Half.

“Jaehyunnie...” Taeyong’s voice is an airy mumble.

Jaehyun doesn’t turn for another second. His whole body aches, sweat dripping down his face, veins feeling like they are on fire. He knows that Taeyong is feeling it all too but breathing is so hard when their bodies are fighting against a broken bond. His heart is pounding in his chest cavity and everything hurts.

Taeyong. Taeyong. Taeyong.

It’s all he can hear, all he wants to hear.

Jaehyun turns and pulls the man to his chest, Taeyong gasping in shock before he relaxes.

“Don’t hate me, Jaehyunnie.”

How can Jaehyun ever hate the man he is meant to be with? How can he ever hold even an ounce of grudge against someone whose name is the only thing he is sure he will remember even when he has forgotten everything? How can Taeyong ever imagine a world where Jaehyun hates him when he will die a million times over before he does?

“How... I can’t... I love you. I love you. I love you, hyung.” Jaehyun breathes out, tears soaking his neck as Taeyong shakes in the enclosure of his arms, a protection against the world.

“But you ran away when you saw me.” Taeyong presses his lips against Jaehyun’s sweaty neck as he speaks and it doesn’t burn as much anymore, relief coursing through all of him.

“It’s because I needed a moment, a moment to find myself again because I lost myself when you left.”

Jaehyun says and it’s true. Taeyong doesn’t step away, choosing to tighten his arms around him.

“I won’t leave again, you know that right?”

It’s a promise and Jaehyun feels it in his bones.

This time Jaehyun pulls away from Taeyong, hands still on his waist and leans in, foreheads touching, Taeyong’s large, red-streaked eyes staring up at him and he nods, the movement drawing a small smile from the other.

“Tell me everything.”

Jaehyun says, wiping Taeyong’s tears, his hands already healing. Taeyong nods before his gaze focus on something else.

“What happened?” Taeyong asks, alarmed at the sight of the other’s burned hands. Jaehyun shakes his head.

“I couldn’t control it in the car, our abilities are reacting to each other’s presence. It’ll be fine,” Jaehyun stops and entwines their fingers together, Taeyong’s hands freezing cold in Jaehyun’s warm ones, “See, you’re cold but it’s fine. We’ll be fine.”

They sit facing each other on the bed, the mattress dipping under their weight.

“They wanted him. They still do.”

There are a million people Taeyong might be alluding to but Jaehyun, somehow, knows exactly who Taeyong is talking about.

“He’s a child,” Jaehyun protests.

“They don’t care, Jaehyun. They really don’t. They’ll rip him apart the moment they get him.”

Fear stands out crystal clear in Taeyong’s tired face.

“You left... you left because of him.”  It’s terrifying how stupid Jaehyun has been all this time. He knew that HOAX was involved but everything else was drowned out. He has considered a million possibilities but he never read into the last words Taeyong said.

Taeyong nods, eyes softening at the realization that Jaehyun was ignorant.

“Remember how I had to go visit Yongguk hyung a week before I left?”

Jaehyun nods, remembering how he had been with Johnny and the others, on a rescue attempt to save an Able couple from confinement by Mask, only Taeil staying back after getting injured in a fight two days prior.

“We helped a bunch of kids get out from a HOAX facility. Daehyun hyung got shot and we had to slow down. We hid while the surviving ones went to get their Blocker guns. We were outnumbered. I had to split up with Yongguk hyung to see if there was a way out while Daehyun hyung waited for Youngjae hyung to get back after dropping the kids off. We were at the entrance when I saw that their records room was open. I got curious and rifled through the files to see their plans in the locality.”

Taeyong looks at the ceiling then, his hands clutching Jaehyun’s tightly.

“Hyung?” Jaehyun’s call goes unheard. He repeats it again and Taeyong’s dazed eyes focus on him.

“They had a restricted access file along with some others on the administrator computer’s table. I looked through it and it was a file on psychometrics. There were only 17, all dead, no, _eliminated,”_ Taeyong spits out the word with so much venom Jaehyun flinches, “and there were two profiles with no photos attached, simply some parameters and certain details. One of them was Donghyuck’s, I was so sure. It cited a death in the orphanage Hyuck was at but since it wasn’t an officially approved care home, they couldn’t get any information about him.”

“Are you sure that they meant him? What about the other psychometric?” Jaehyun doesn’t like where this is going but he cannot complain because the universe has never given him much reason to like how their lives work.

“They didn’t have any information on the other kid except their birth year. They didn’t even know the kid’s gender. I was doubtful at first but I clicked on the next page and they had a document with pictures of us, suspecting that one of us was psychometric. I knew that it was only a matter of days before they caught us.”

“Hyung, you could have told us. This is insane. It was a death run, do you understand that?” Jaehyun asks, hands pulling away from Taeyong’s to run through his hair, the ache in his body amplifying at the lack of contact with his Half. Taeyong gives him a sad smile and takes Jaehyun’s other hand, a knowing look on his face.

“It was but I had a good reason.”

Jaehyun pulls his hand away again.

“What kind of reason would justify you breaking our bond like that when you could have talked to me, or just, fuck, just anyone and found a solution? We could have left together, hyung. ”

Jaehyun gets up from the bed with barely veiled frustration, Taeyong wincing as he feels the effects from the contact deprivation.

“I’m sorry, Jaehyun but hear me out. I promised to tell you everything, didn’t I? So let me.”

Jaehyun wipes a hand over his face and sits back down, facing away from Taeyong. The elder man sighs in defeat.

“Yongguk hyung had a vision when he touched the file. My mind was open to any and every thought in the facility since I didn’t want anyone sneaking up on us and I saw exactly what he did; a future where Donghyuck suffers from not finding his Half. I saw everything, his nose bleeds, sleeplessness, hiding and crying in random bathrooms, but I also saw Mark and I knew what to do.”

Jaehyun lets out a breath then, the scattered pieces of a puzzle, more complex than any Jaehyun had hypothesized in his head, finally coming together.

“You made yourself the target.” He states, voice monotonous.

“I did. I had to. I had to leave and I knew that if I was ever caught, they would be able to trace you from the bond. We escaped that night without much damage except for Daehyun hyung’s wounds. Yongguk hyung asked me to talk to you but I knew you wouldn’t let me go. So I waited. I knew they’d come for him. I deleted all records of my life which was on paper and digital media, everything from government databases, schools, medicine prescriptions, every single thing.”

Jaehyun shakes his head, closing his eyes for a moment and then opening them up to process the new onslaught of information.

“Why do a complete wipeout when you were running away anyway?”

Taeyong looks at the window and then at the quote framed on the wall, eyes lingering on the words before his gaze returns to Jaehyun.

“They hadn’t started profiling us so we still had a shot and if I did a complete wipeout and ran away, they would think that I’m psychometric, the one they’re looking for, since that’s the only conclusion they would make considering the way they work. My government profiles say I’m a telepath and doing a wipe was the only way I could make sure that we still had a shot.”

Jaehyun wonders how terrible Taeyong must have felt in those days. Jaehyun had been miles away but he had felt the tempest swirling up inside Taeyong and he was so stupid, chalking it all up as being stress from the fight at the facility, of Daehyun getting hurt, of having killed people and the guilty conscience that came with it no matter how many times they did it before but he was so wrong. He was so goddamn wrong on so many levels.

“You could have taken Taeil hyung away with you, kept him as backup, why didn’t you, hyung?”

Jaehyun’s questions are never ending but he needs it all out of his chest. He can’t help the accusatory tone in his voice.

Taeyong’s response is quick.

“Death in numbers, Jaehyun.”

A realist Able’s motto. Jaehyun exhales sharply.

“They had surveillance vans guised as civilian cars a bit outside the house we stayed then, thought I wouldn’t notice. I didn’t wanna put Taeil hyung in danger so I asked him to get something from the store and I ran. They weren’t the ones who set fire to the house, it was me, to buy myself some time. You called me then but I didn’t wanna pick up, that’s why I used the bond to tell you to keep Donghyuck safe and then... then I pulled at our bond with everything I had. Tore it to bits. It killed me to do it but I had to and now, there’s only an ache, Jaehyunnie... a space which stings when I think about you and I can’t...”

Taeyong hides his face in his hands and sobs, each broken cry a knife landing on the target board that is Jaehyun, pulling him to the edge of no return where he thought he had lost Taeyong to the world, that he was on his own.

But Taeyong is here, he thinks, forcing his limbs to react. Jaehyun scoots closer and wraps his arms around his Half, a man with a fragile frame and the strongest will backed by a heart which only knows to keep giving. His blood sings with the cure to its ultimate longing. The ache is still there but he knows they’ll heal.

“You’re here now. We’ll mend this together. We were made for each other, weren’t we?”

Taeyong nods against his chest. Jaehyun backs away a little and cups his cheeks with his raw palms and leans in, pressing his lips delicately against the other’s, Taeyong sighing in response.

Their bond is broken but even then, the sensations are magnified manifold, Taeyong shivering a little as Jaehyun licks at his lips, taking his time.

Jaehyun pulls away, eyes hooked on the way Taeyong’s long, curved eyelashes are wet, little tear drops clinging on them, face shimmering, tinted red from the taxing reveal of what led to the two year long gap when time refused to move, each minute fruitlessly pulling and pushing each other to speed up a little.

Taeyong tells him about finding Mark about nine months ago, the boy working at a convenience store. Mark had used fake Id cards and had help from some other Ables to get the job. If Taeyong’s memory failed him, if he was unable to recall the vision he had with Yongguk, the cure to Donghyuck’s condition would have slipped right out of his hands.

“We were lucky. He was having a hard time living on his own. I was too busy running that I didn’t always have the time to properly stay at some place and actively search but even then, I looked for him everywhere I could find time to stop and take a breather in.”

Jaehyun nods, knowing exactly how hard it is to live without a group to fall back on, how hard Mark must have had it.

“Did he react well when you told him what was up?”

Taeyong smiles, all fond, “Yeah, he’s a great kid, Jaehyunnie. We met at the chips aisle of a store when I made a pit stop to get some food and I told him that his Half was hurting somewhere away from here, he looked at me for a second before he told me that he wants to stop him from hurting, asked me what he had to do to stop it. I almost cried then and there,” The elder likes him; Jaehyun can tell that just from the way he talks about him. It reminds him of the way Taeyong talks about Donghyuck and he’s beyond happy.

“One of the foster homes he lived in, the caretaker there was a clairvoyant and she told him that his Half would hurt a lot before he met him. He was only twelve then but he kept that in mind, I... he must be so happy now that he met Donghyuck.”

Jaehyun agrees with a subtle shake of his head, euphoria a spinning wheel in his mind because having Mark here means that Donghyuck will get better, that Jaehyun wouldn’t have to wonder about another loss every waking moment.

“Did they ever find you?” Jaehyun blinks away the happy tears.

Taeyong’s expression hardens.

“A couple of times they were close. Three months ago, they did but Mark teleported us out.”

Jaehyun wants to walk out the door and wrap the boy in a hug for saving Taeyong when he was surrounded, for everything.

“Why did it take you so long to come to us, hyung? You found Mark a long way back. Why didn’t you come back to me?”

Taeyong smiles, reaching out with a hand and running it through Jaehyun’s hair.

“You hid well, Jaehyunnie. I started looking for you around six months ago, a few months after I found Mark. But you were so hard to find. I couldn’t ask around because I didn’t trust anyone but then Mark saw you when you were at the diner. He was on his way back to our safehouse. Yukhei teleported so fast he wasn’t able to catch up but we knew you were in the vicinity, we just had to look properly. I called Daehyun hyung and then we were just following you around for the past week to get a grip on who the other two were even if hyung told us that they were loyal.”

Jaehyun leans into the elder’s touch, a part of his thoughts straying to how Daehyun really deserves another punch for not having informed him, another part focusing on how the heat calms a little where Taeyong’s skin meets his.

“How did Mark know it was us?” Jaehyun asks, having taken a moment to process Taeyong’s words.

Taeyong chuckles, a beautiful little sound and it reverberates in the four grey walls of Jaehyun’s chest cavity.

“Photos exist, Jaehyunnie. Also, you were sprinting out the door. Even if he didn’t know you guys he would have noticed that something was off.”

Jaehyun doesn’t say anything to oppose, choosing instead to revel in the glory of the moment where he finally comprehends that maybe things were that easy.

What were the odds that things would be so effortless after two years of holding onto his urges to just say _Fuck it_ to the promise he made to Taeyong?

Maybe Jaehyun had underestimated the power of the universe.

Maybe Fate knew that this was the only way.

Taeyong gets up from the bed, pulling Jaehyun with him, careful to not grip his hand too tightly for fear of hurting him. He walks to the window and pulls the curtains to the side, throwing it open, the backyard coming to view, the sun fading slowly.

“I stared at the sky whenever I could, you know, counting down the days when I’d stumble upon you again.” The corners of his lips curve up slightly in an almost smile before he stops, “I almost ran back as soon as I left but... Donghyuck, he means too much, Jaehyunnie. He’s like... like my child and I’d never sacrifice his safety even if it meant one more moment with you. I’m sorry.”

Jaehyun’s heart clenches in his chest, he squeezes Taeyong’s hand once, accepting the apology but also conveying the fact that he feels the same way.

“We literally saw him grow up, hyung. I’ll go through this all this again if it means keeping him safe.”

Taeyong smiles, eyes set on the sky.

They stand there, hands holding each other’s, a lot to be discussed later but still rejoicing in the warmth of the moment where they have each other and a bond that’ll surely form again, twice as strong as ever.

 

***

 

Doyoung looks for a long moment at Mark, and Yukhei is incredibly glad that he never had to go through this kind of probing and inspection by the gang. At this point, Yukhei is unwillingly a storehouse of knowledge of all the things that Mark Lee has ever done in his life and no, he doesn’t want to know about the times he had to choose food over the scrapes on his knees from climbing up and freefalling onto their neighbour’s gravelly courtyard.

Dude, you are a teleporter, how much of an idiot can you be? You could have just teleported there, Yukhei screams internally, frustrated at the other’s idiocy. Jungwoo giggles and pinches Yukhei, making a high-pitched wince escape him.

Mark looks at him with intent to murder.

 _Officer, I need help_ , Yukhei thinks. Jungwoo giggles again.

 _Stop reading my mind, hyung_ , Yukhei chastises in his head.

Jungwoo keeps giggling and Yukhei realizes that the telepath is also privy to Mark’s thoughts.

_My dude, you really are planning to kill me, aren’t you?_

“So, you ran away from your foster home?”

Mark nods, gaze shifting so quickly that Yukhei gets whiplash.

What’s your deal? It’s not like I did anything to spite you, Yukhei can’t help but think, avoiding the part of his brain which protests loudly against the obvious lie.

Jungwoo leans in, deciding to help Yukhei out, and whispers, “Are you sure? You’ve been giving him the cockiest looks and challenging him every single second and you’re thinking about why he’s pissed at you?”

Okay, that was absolutely useless.

“Yeah, I had help from a couple of kids I knew at the orphanage who were also Ables but we had to split up and there were only five of us. Ganging up together would put a target on us and I knew that.  They did too so they split in groups of two and I was left alone.”

“That’s shitty,” Ten comments, looking genuinely angry.

“It kind of is, isn’t it?” Mark smiles self-deprecatingly, continuing, “They were really close though so I get it but I was only fifteen, I didn’t get it then so I just wanted to die.”

Yukhei watches Doyoung’s gaze soften for the millionth time before he schools it to an unbothered one, each transition taking longer than the one before and Yukhei can see that contrary to what he thought, Mark Lee might just fit into the gang like he always was a part of them.

“Mark...” Doyoung calls out, thoughts buffering as if not knowing how to respond to someone saying they wanted to die.

“Hyung, I’m here, aren’t I? I starved for a few days because I had no motivation and the people whom I thought cared about me left but...” Mark smiles softly, like the next words he’s going to speak makes him happy just thinking about it and Yukhei is curious because this is the first genuine smile that he has seen from him, one that lights up not just the lower hemisphere of the other teleporter’s face but the upper one too and Yukhei wants to know what it is that has transformed Mark to a glowing mess.

When Mark turns to look at Donghyuck with the same look, it clicks.

“But then... I thought about him and it all went away and I wanted to live again, just to take his pain away. I wanted to find him and apologize for not seeing him sooner, for making him go through all of that. All I wanted to do was just to see him once and tell him that I love him, that I didn’t have to see him to love him more every day.”

Johnny who was silently signing the conversation to Donghyuck stops when Mark faces Donghyuck, letting the teleporter say the words directly to his face, the psychometric’s gaze dropping to the other’s lips, eyebrows scrunched together in concentration to lip read before a smile that looks exactly like the other half of the one on Mark’s face spreads on the soft edges of his face.

They’re... _perfect_ , Yukhei thinks.

Yukhei feels like the wind is knocked out of his lungs because sure, Donghyuck has smiled at him but never like this, never with so much affection, never with so much care and maybe, he needs to back away, maybe this is the universe’s way of saying _checkmate_ to him.

Jungwoo squeezes his thigh, pulling Yukhei back from his mind running miles per minute.

Mark turns back to face Taeil and Ten and Yukhei stares intently at Donghyuck who raises an eyebrow at him in confusion.

Yukhei holds the stare for a moment before shaking his head.

Mark tells them _almost_ everything.

Yukhei says _almost_ , because he can tell exactly what a person who is skipping details looks like and Mark seems to fit right into that category. It isn’t shady though because Yukhei knows that he is glazing over certain details which feel much too personal to be revealed to people whom he has only heard about and never known closely. The others also seem to know that Mark is not giving them everything but they look like they get it, choosing to simply accommodate all the information Mark gives them instead of focusing on the things he isn’t.

Johnny clears his throat loudly and his Halves turn their heads to him. It takes only a fraction of a second for Yukhei to process what’s going on.

Johnny is asking them to stop with the questions.

Doyoung and Ten smiles at Johnny before sighing loudly, Taeil already getting up and walking to the guest room. Mark and Donghyuck look around wildly. Yukhei waits for Johnny to say something so that he can get a move on too.

Ten ruffles Mark’s hair as he gets up, Doyoung doing the same, the other teleporter looking up at them in confusion.

“Yukhei will translate, you guys should talk,” Johnny announces, gesturing at Jungwoo too to leave them alone.

Yukhei sends the speedster a look of betrayal, the other man only shrugging in response.

In a moment, the room is void of all the others.

Mark looks at Yukhei with an impassive face, Donghyuck hesitantly moving closer, ears red.

“So, uh... Mark, this is Donghyuck. Sparkles, this is Mark.”

Yukhei grins as he says it.

Mark smiles at Donghyuck, sending Yukhei a look irritation.

“Why do you call him Sparkles?”

Yukhei shuts down the urge to swear and cackle.

“Because he sparkles,” he says in a matter-of-fact tone.

Mark huffs, unimpressed, quirking an eyebrow.

“What? You want me to stop calling him that because he’s your Half?” Mark looks like he is going to nod but Yukhei carries on, “No can do, Slow Lee.”

Donghyuck pinches Yukhei’s ears signing, _“I’m right here, jackass!”_ with an annoyed look.

Mark grins with too much satisfaction for Yukhei to handle at his loud groan.

“I love you too, Sparkles,” Yukhei says, grinning lopsidedly only for Donghyuck to pinch his ears again.

There’s an awkward moment of silence consisting of Yukhei rubbing at his ear to alleviate the pain. Donghyuck’s thin fingers are capable of much more than what Yukhei expected.

“Uh, are you recovering well? Feeling better?”

Yukhei looks at Mark’s tactless approach with a blank face. Donghyuck who was staring at the carpet peers at Yukhei for the sign.

“Slow Lee, you can just talk to Sparkles. He can lip read. I’ll sign what he says back,” Yukhei says, rubbing at his temples just imagining the cringe-worthy conversation the pair will have.

Mark repeats the question to Donghyuck.

_“Yeah. I’m feeling good.”_

Cue awkward babbling and Yukhei signing responses, watching true love blossom and shit, sweaty palms meeting each other in true first-timer fashion and dopey smiles like one of them wasn’t dying just hours before, like the world isn’t cruel out there, like all that matters is that they are together.

Cue a boy signing one line after another from the boy he has fallen in “like” with, perhaps “love” with, to the boy he is fated to love and knowing it isn’t going anywhere.

Cue Yukhei realizing that Mark isn’t a bitch and actually being able to picture Donghyuck with the teleporter because they seem to fit seamlessly.

Cue disappointment stemming from love.

Also, cue reflecting back on the past two months because it’s _love_.

It’s a big word but it’s used with the utmost sincerity even though Yukhei knows that Donghyuck will never feel that way for him.

Realization is aimed avalanches, a storm of wreckage, a wave of pain but life’s dandy, everyone.

Just fucking dandy.

Yukhei is dying from the interaction when Taeyong walks to the room with a hesitant, but soft smile.

“Donghyuck.”

Taeyong says his name out loud like Donghyuck can hear and Yukhei is about to poke the younger but before he can, he turns like he can sense Taeyong’s presence.

It’s breathtaking, how Donghyuck gazes between Jaehyun and Taeyong and smiles at the grins stuck to their faces, how he taps Mark twice and drags his hand away and walks right into Taeyong’s waiting arms.

Jaehyun joins the hug and Yukhei swears that they look so much more like a family than any family he has ever seen and if that isn’t proof of how their bond shines through the darkness, Yukhei doesn’t know what is.

Yukhei throws a stray glance at Mark to see the teleporter smiling through tears, eyes shiny and lips stretched so wide that Yukhei feels the urge to touch his own lips to see if they hurt.

Taeyong gestures for Mark to join the hug after a moment and the boy walks quickly but melds his body gently behind Donghyuck, his arms not long enough to go around the trio.

Yukhei backs away slowly to Jungwoo’s room. The facade crumbles fast when the telepath gets up and trots to him with a questioning look just as Yukhei shuts the door behind him.

“Yukhei, what’s wrong?”

Yukhei doesn’t say anything, closing his mind against further prodding in the way Jungwoo has taught him to but he knows that the elder will put the pieces together.

“Xuxi, why are you blocking your thoughts? Xuxi, what..” Jungwoo trails off when Yukhei’s arms envelop him in a hug. Jungwoo’s hands smooth over his back in a calming motion and Yukhei wants to tell him but saying it out loud is going to make it harder and he wants this to be easy.

Donghyuck is Mark’s. Yukhei is just a bump on the radar. A place you have to pass on your way to the destination. A filler character in a movie who serves no purpose.

He’ll give himself one night, this one night to be heartbroken and tomorrow, tomorrow, he’s going back to being Wong Yukhei. He’s going to tease Donghyuck and still call him Sparkles. He’ll act bratty and mess with Mark.

But tomorrow, he’s going to try to not want Donghyuck like that when the universe already has a match for him.

Tonight, he’ll break down. But tomorrow, he’ll put himself back together.

Jungwoo pulls back, Yukhei’s arms still around his torso and wipes his tears away to no solution as they keep rolling down his face. Yukhei hides his face in the other’s neck and lets himself cry soundlessly.

When Doyoung comes to invite them for dinner, ecstatic about the reunion, Jungwoo says that Yukhei isn’t well, that he wants to keep an eye on him.

There’s silence after that for a few moments before Yukhei feels a palm smooth over his forehead and his immediate thought is Jungwoo but—

\--it isn’t.

“He cares too much sometimes, doesn’t he?” Doyoung’s voice streams in.

“He does,” Jungwoo agrees and Yukhei wants to open his eyes but he doesn’t need a confrontation.

“He’s a good kid, Jungwoo,” Doyoung says and there’s something wistful in the way he says it while simultaneously smoothing Yukhei’s hair back.

“He is,” Jungwoo affirms, sincere.

Doyoung pulls his warm hand away and leaves the room after asking Jungwoo to come down one more time, the telepath letting the other down gently.

This time the hand that softly pets his hair is Jungwoo’s and Yukhei melts a little. He opens his eyes to look at Jungwoo, the elder’s expression dripping warmth.

Yukhei doesn’t remember anything about his mom except for the scene where she drops dead right front of him, drained from using her power to stop a building from collapsing, HOAX’s puppets emptying their cartridges into her chest, little Yukhei hiding behind a cement block.

He wonders if the way Jungwoo looks at him is the same way his mom looked at him.

For some reason, when he closes his eyes, an unfamiliar set of eyes give him the same look. Yukhei blinks once and it’s gone.

“Sleep now, Xuxi. Hyung is here,” Jungwoo’s soft voice mumbles.

Yukhei lets infinity take over and finds himself dreaming about hell and heaven and being stuck right in the middle of it.

 

***

 

Strangely enough, there occur no hitches, even a few days after the reunion.

Yukhei is not the type to speak too soon always, so he waits for the inevitable fall of the other shoe and it happens on a seemingly normal evening. One moment, they’re talking about going to Gongju and the next, Jaehyun is nodding at Johnny, the speedster clearing his throat before talking.

“We are leaving tomorrow,” Johnny says, voice conveying nothing.

Yukhei sees the way Mark and Donghyuck look at each other. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that they’ve been kept out of the loop. Donghyuck throws Yukhei a look full of apology and something else.

Everyone except Taeil and the twin towers doesn’t look too amused.

Yukhei suddenly wants to punch a wall. Jungwoo sighs next to him.

Yukhei doesn’t say anything for a moment. He hopes for the best and chooses to interpret it in a way favourable to them.

“Should I pack all my stuff?” He asks, nervous, somehow knowing that he’s just about to be shot down.

“Who says you’re coming with us?” Jaehyun fires at him.

“Hyung, don’t do this...” Yukhei pleads.

“Who says he isn’t?” Ten asks, ignoring Yukhei and squaring himself up, rising to his feet, directing his attention at Jaehyun. Jaehyun ignores the Thai man’s question.

“You are safe here. We can’t just intrude into your lives like this. We’re grateful to you for helping us but we have to move if we don’t want HOAX on our tails and having you with us means we put you in danger too and we don’t want to do that,” he explains.

“Safety in numbers.” Yukhei defends.

“Death in numbers.” Jaehyun fires back.

“All due respect, but you don’t get to decide what we do with our lives, hyung,” Jungwoo speaks up, voice calm like always but conveying the fact all the same.

“Jungwoo, you don’t understand,” Johnny says.

The telepath laughs.

“I don’t?”

The stand-off drags on, ending finally when Doyoung and Taeyong step in to convince their Halves that their presence has already put a target on Jungwoo and Yukhei’s backs, explaining that leaving them alone is essentially going to make things worse, scolding them for not discussing with the gang before making a decision.

Yukhei throws Taeyong a look of gratitude, the elder blinking softly in response.

Jaehyun comes to Yukhei later that night and apologizes.

“We weren’t sure. We just wanted to put it out there,” He says.

Yukhei snorts, gaze flicking over the lamp atop his head and shaking his head.

“Well, now you know.” He replies, still angry.

“Yukhei...” Jaehyun says, placatingly.

“No, I get it. Give me time. It’s fine, hyung. It really is.” Jaehyun nods but stays with him for another hour or so, leaving when Taeyong comes to get him.

“Yukhei, aren’t you going to sleep?”

Yukhei smirks at Taeyong.

“No rest for the wicked!” He shouts.

Taeyong puts a hand on his hip and raises an eyebrow.

Yukhei now knows where Donghyuck gets it from. He decides to switch lanes.

“I will. In a bit.” He reasons, the couple looking unimpressed.

When they leave after a fair bit of coercion from his part, Yukhei slumps against the chair. A few minutes later, he pushes himself up to go to Jungwoo’s room to attempt to sleep a little. He dozes off a bit after staring at the polished ceiling for a good few minutes, the telepath sound asleep next to him.

When he gets up, he hopes that it is morning already. The clock placed on the bedside table tells him that it’s ten to 1 and he closes his eyes, trying to go back to sleep—

\-- and fails miserably.

He tosses and turns for a good half hour but when Jungwoo starts groaning, he gets up, wanting the telepath to get all the sleep he can get.

Dragging himself downstairs, the last person he expects to see is Mark. He doesn’t really know how to react, it’s almost like a guerrilla attack from the universe.

Attack when they’re least expecting you. Annihilate their hopes and shit.

1 AM Yukhei is vastly different, he likes to think.

But, not really.

Mark is leaning against the kitchen cupboards, his back straight against them, hair mussed from sleep, looking like a failed model for a vague attempt at replicating Yukhei’s own hair and a sorry excuse for a person.

Mostly the first but Yukhei likes to think it’s the second too.

“Slow Lee, binging on loneliness and kitchen air I see.”

The nickname draws the fellow teleporter’s attention to him. Yukhei can _see_ the internal facepalm.

“My name is Mark, you prick, call me that or go die in a ditch.”

Yukhei laughs, settling a respectable distance away from Mark, but still close enough that they can use inside voices and hear each other.

Insults are best conveyed in inside voices after all.

“Stop calling me prick first and I’ll consider!” Yukhei declares, sounding way too hyped for a sleep-deprived teleporter.

“Not gonna happen, I’m not bowing to your ass.” Mark sounds defeated even as he says it.

Yukhei chuckles, the other teleporter huffing.

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping with Sparkles?” Yukhei asks, wiggling his eyebrows when Mark goes unresponsive.

Mark’s fidgeting knee stops being annoying for a second. Godspeed, Charles Xavier. Now Yukhei can stop planning to throw Mark to the sharks in the deep end.

“Dude, you’re gross!! What the hell?” Mark says, disgust on his face and it takes a while for Yukhei to get it.

“What the fuck?? Bro, seriously, chill! I just meant actual sleeping like cuddles and hugging and stuff. Doyoung hyung said physical contact will make him healthy quickly and let the bond form faster or some shit right?” 

Yukhei is a creep but no, he isn’t _that_ creepy and he genuinely hopes that Mark doesn’t put him in _that_ category.

Mark slumps back against the cupboard.

“He had a bad dream I think. Wouldn’t stop clutching my shirt and I woke him up but he signed something and turned away from me. He went back to sleep and I couldn’t figure out what he said.”

Okay. Maybe Yukhei doesn’t hate Mark that much but you didn’t hear him say that ever.

“And now I’m sitting here talking to an idiot,” Yukhei whines loudly, Mark continues unbothered, “in the middle of the night.”

“What did he sign?”

Mark shrugs.

“I don’t really remember. It was like my life flashed before my eyes because holy shit, how do you focus on his hands when his face is just... so... ugh!”

A part of Yukhei screams in glee, welcoming Mark to the Suffer Because of Donghyuck Club™, the other part a little sad but not surprised.

“I know right,” Yukhei says, smiling.

Mark looks at him with a weird look, not one of hostility, but of mutual understanding.

“Yeah,” He hums.

Yukhei gets up from the floor, opening the refrigerator and pours himself some milk, running away from Territory of the Saps™.

“No thanks, I’m not a baby,” Mark mutters when Yukhei offers, seagull eyebrows knitted in a frown.

“That wasn’t what you were saying when Jungwoo hyung made you cereal in the morning but more for me I guess,” Yukhei drawls, chugging the milk and closing the refrigerator door with the hand that is not holding the glass.

Yukhei is washing the glass when Mark pulls at his sweatpants.

“WOAH! What the hell?” He yells.

Mark shushes him with a finger.

“Someone is outside. I heard footsteps.”

Yukhei turns off the faucet and places the glass on the side, ears perked up for detecting any possible suspicious noise.

The teleporter duo eyes each other and mutually agrees to move to the front door with minimal noise production.

“Should we wake the others?” Mark asks, voice a whisper.

“We’ll see if it’s worth it first,” Yukhei replies.

“Dude, we could die,” Mark whisper yells.

“We could have died yesterday, Slow Lee. Live a little,” Yukhei responds, ever the optimist.

They near the door, sounds of footsteps going left and right like someone is pacing outside, reaching their ears.

“Will you just open the door? You guys are so obvious, I swear to God,” a deep voice drifts in from the other side.

Yukhei turns to look at Mark, the other’s head tilted like a dog’s in an attempt to understand the situation.

“And who are you?” Yukhei asks, trying to make his voice deeper than it is already.

“Jisung. I’m Jisung, Chenle’s friend and I need help, preferably from adults who don’t tiptoe in the night and drink milk.”

It’s the boy, Yukhei realizes, the one who accompanied Chenle but stayed in the car the last couple of times Yukhei met him.

Yukhei swings the door open, putting his most intimidating face on.

“That’s no way to gain favours, kid,” He says, hoping to sound chastising.

Jisung snorts.

“Hey, watch it, kid, you’re in our territory,” Mark adds, sounding genuinely unimpressed.

Yukhei is slightly grateful that Mark didn’t abandon ship. Perhaps, he’ll grow up to be loyal to Yukhei’s hidden agendas.

“Oh my God, there’s two of you,” Jisung deadpans, face not moving an inch except for the smirk seemingly fixed on his face.

“What do you mean there’s two of us?” Mark asks, offended somehow.

“What’s the ruckus?” Johnny asks, coming down the stairs, Ten and Doyoung following him, all of them looking a little worse for wear. Yukhei almost feels a little bad but his existence is busy judging Jisung for grouping him with the likes of a lowly being like Mark Lee.

He will not tolerate this kind of heresy.

Jaehyun and Taeyong drag themselves to the living room, Jungwoo rubbing at his eyes and trotting behind them, Donghyuck tagging along. Taeil looks weirdly fresh for someone who was sleeping soundly but Yukhei won’t believe that the man sleeps until he sees it.

“Yes, actual adults, finally,” Jisung states, clapping his hands together but poker face still active and annoying the hell out of Mark and Yukhei.

“Who is this?” Jaehyun questions, looking incredibly alert, unlike Jungwoo who looks like he’ll collapse if the wind blows a little stronger.

“I am Jisung. I am Chenle’s friend and I need your help.”

Johnny gestures for him to go on and Jisung looks like an actual kid now that Yukhei really takes a good look at him. He is tall but he can’t be a day over 17 and Yukhei doesn’t know what to feel.

Doyoung motions at him to sit down and the newcomer plops down on the sofa, right next to a sleepy Donghyuck.

“What do you need help with?” Taeyong asks, worry hazing over his words.

“Y Zone has my friends. I ran away but they have them.”

Yukhei knows Y Zone. It was the same group whom Chenle saved him from and it’s kind of devastating to hear the boy say it because knowing the gang, they’re as good as dead by now.

Chenle... his ethics revolt against the passing thought.

“When did they take them?” Jaehyun asks, looking like he’s ready to fly out the door the moment he gets the answer, only Taeyong’s hand on his thigh anchoring him down.

“Day before yesterday. I ran to get to them but then I couldn’t anymore and I came back to our safehouse here to get some weapons when the lady who lives next door told me that a group of Ables had visited looking for Chenle.”

Donghyuck rubs Jisung’s back like one would a child and the boy directs the first smile, his first expression shift from the permanent poker slash smirk face, at him.

Yukhei shifts in his seat.

“The lady’s not an Able?” Johnny enquires, eyes wide.

Jisung shakes his head.

“Wow. Halmeoni really fooled you, huh? She’s a Kindred.”

Jisung replies, eyes coloured with mischief and looking so much like a kid that Yukhei considers backing away and just getting to the part where they help him out.

“How did you know where to look for us?” Mark comes up with the sudden question, genuinely curious and seeming more civil than he had ever been to Yukhei in the week they had known each other.

“Are you kidding me? Listen, Raisinhead Number 2, I know him,” Jisung vaguely waves a hand at Yukhei, “I’ve seen this tower of idiocy a lot of times since Chenle helped him out. It’s kind of cute though. He’s like a puppy pandering for attention.”

Yukhei cackles.

“You’re Raisinhead Number 1,” Jisung helpfully provides.

Ten snorts from the couch in a sleep-addled haze, a sign of divine approval.

Jaehyun and Taeyong smile at the newcomer but no one comes to Mark’s or Yukhei’s defence.  Even Donghyuck ruffles the kid’s hair and pats him.

Perhaps, teaming up with Mark would be good for his existence since it seems that it’s teleporters against the others, Yukhei concludes.

Jisung looks unbothered by the situation, not only comfortable with being sassy in the wake of his friends’ abduction but also never once looking disappointed or sad, just plain faced except for the smirk which comes and goes, like he is void of emotions.

The wit seems to be a defence mechanism but Yukhei can’t be too sure.

Jungwoo subtly mouths a “Later” at him. Mark raises an eyebrow at them, Yukhei says the same to Mark.

Something is indeed wrong, then, or there’s a story.

The discussion goes on, Yukhei lets the others take the front wheel, leaning back against the couch and in true Yukhei fashion, falls asleep.

He feels someone bopping on his nose a little later.

He opens his eyes to see Jisung and his pointed finger and lets out a high-pitched screech. Yukhei is an honest boy, you guys, he’s not even going to try to convince you otherwise.

Strangely enough, Mark flies out of nowhere, eyes panicked, “What’s wrong?”

Jisung backs away.

“He was just being a raisin,” Jisung answers, sitting down next to Yukhei. At this point, Yukhei is too tired to actually fight back but it seems like Mark isn’t.

“Your obsession with dried grape is pretty weird,” Mark comments, seating himself on the chair opposite Yukhei, eyes set on Jisung.

“Your existence with a dried grape face is pretty weird,” Jisung shoots back, leaning down and folding his jeans at the ankles for no apparent reason.

Mark huffs, cursing under his breath. Yukhei yawns.

“What’s the plan, Slow Lee?”

Mark sighs in defeat as if knowing that there’s no end to this nickname train.

“We’re leaving in two hours. The place is a few-hour drive away.”

Yukhei feels his skin prickle from Jisung’s insistent stare on the side of his head.

He would call it shady if he didn’t know better but he does. He has seen the boy a lot of times before, always poker-faced, watching the surroundings like a hawk.

“Did you have dinner, Jisung?” Yukhei gets up from his seat.

The boy blinks at him.

“No, I was busy trying to find you.”

Mark rises to his feet as well, giving the boy a frown, following it up with a look aimed at Yukhei.

“When was the last time you ate?”

Jisung blinks once, twice at Mark and sighs as if in realization.

“I broke my promise to Nana hyung,” he answers, evading the question.

“That’s not what I asked. When?” Mark presses.

“Breakfast the day before yesterday.”

Mark asks him to go to the kitchen and sit at the table, the boy following obediently.

Yukhei goes to follow him but Mark stops him with his twig arm placed horizontally on his chest.

“Dude, I will burn down the kitchen trying to cook. I’m assuming that you suck as well. Go get someone else, I’ll keep him company.”

“Wow, you grew a brain,” Yukhei breathes.

“You did too! Con-fucking-gratulations!”

He asked for that, didn’t he?

When Yukhei enters Jungwoo’s room, Donghyuck is seated on the bed with him, the telepath’s eyes closed.

He opens them as he hears Yukhei.

“What’s wrong?”

Jungwoo shakes his head, waving away the worry.

“He’s been having nightmares. I was just clearing that up.”

Donghyuck nods when Yukhei looks at him in confirmation.

 _”Is anything wrong?”_ He signs when Yukhei lingers at the door.

“Jisung hasn’t eaten since the day before yesterday so your cooking skills will be appreciated right about now or Mark and I are gonna burn down the building and we aren’t even pyrokinetic,” he lets out in one breath.

Donghyuck chuckles, before schooling his expression.

He leaves in the direction of the kitchen.

“Hyung, about Jisung, what’s wrong with him? Are his abilities messing with him or something?” Yukhei asks as soon as Donghyuck leaves.

Jungwoo closes his eyes and opens them slowly.

“His abilities aren’t doing anything to him, like, his phasing ability and the ability to see through walls, those are intact and are causing no harm to him but his emotional intelligence is walled. Like there’s an actual wall placed between him and his feelings. It’s not that he doesn’t feel it. It’s just that he isn’t able to express it to the level that we are able to. Don’t worry too much. I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Jungwoo states while folding a bed sheet and keeping it in the drawer.

Yukhei takes a moment to digest the answer and nods when it finally does.

“How’s it going with Mark?”

Jungwoo attacks when Yukhei turns his back.

Introduction to Shitty Moves to Pull on a Heartbroken Able: Live Demonstration.

“He’s a prick but he’s good for Sparkles,” Yukhei admits weakly. Jungwoo stares at him as if daring him to say something but Yukhei just mumbles _Adios_ under his breath and walks out.

The real disaster happens then in the form of the Cooking Debacle ft. Mark “Slow” Lee, Donghyuck “Sparkles” Lee, Yukhei “Sad” Wong and Jisung “I don’t drive, I only park” Park.

It starts with Donghyuck at the stove and Yukhei, Mark and Jisung at the kitchen table.

It’s an unholy hour in the morning aka 04:32 AM.

Neither Yukhei nor Mark can refute the fact that Donghyuck looks drop-dead gorgeous cooking pancakes with his hair flat on one side and messy on the other.

It seems like Jisung is on that train too but on a different track.

“The level of pining,” he pauses, “ _the level_ of _shameless_ pining. It’s like Nana hyung and Renjun hyung all over again.”

Yukhei and Mark stay silent, deciding not to engage with the enemy.

When the remarks pile up one by one, uttered in monotone but still injuring their already non-existent egos, Yukhei sighs.

“Look, kid, stop insulting us every other sentence and we’ll talk.”

Jisung stares at him for a moment before rejecting the offer ruthlessly.

When Donghyuck sets down the plate of food for Jisung, ruffling his hair right after, Yukhei sighs in defeat.

Mark smacks him on the head for staring at Donghyuck.

“Dude, we aren’t friends for you to smack me like that,” Yukhei states.

“Should I just punch you and knock your teeth out then?” Mark offers.

Jisung chews loudly and smirks at the teleporter duo.

“Farewell, raisin heads,” he says, waving a hand, leaving Yukhei and Mark to stare at the empty plate on the table.

Yukhei feels like he got rolled over by a road roller and he’s never even experienced it so he’s relying solely on a hypothetical feeling.

“Does he have to call us that?”

Yukhei lets out a long-suffering sigh.

“Taste of your own medicine, Wong.”

Has Yukhei mentioned that Mark is a prick?

Because he is the prickliest prick in a prickly land of pricks.

 

***

 

Yukhei snorts as he puts the car in reverse. Jungwoo is locking up the house, Mark talking to him in a rush.

 _“What are they talking about?”_ Donghyuck signs, hovering outside the window.

 _“He’s begging to be in a car with you,”_ Yukhei signs, the gear in neutral, searching Donghyuck’s face for something, coming up empty except for a rising blush.

“You look like a tomato, Sparkles,” Yukhei says when Mark and Jungwoo start walking in their direction.

Donghyuck rolls his eyes, signing, “ _Can you be a normal person for once in your life?”_

Yukhei winks. “Where’s the fun in that?”

His attention is turned away when Jaehyun walks up to his car, patting Donghyuck twice.

“Yukhei, follow our car but when I do a right turn with the left indicator, turn left. It’s a high surveillance area and we don’t want them to know we’re coming.” Jaehyun looks like a tightly wound string but Yukhei doesn’t ask, knowing that the rescue mission they’re on is pretty dangerous.

Even he has been feeling the pressure since Ten called him in the morning to tell him to keep an eye on Donghyuck and Jisung when the inevitable fight breaks out.

“Done, hyung. What about Johnny hyung?”

Jaehyun nods, “He’s taking another route straight from here. He’s leaving now. We’ll leave in 10 to buy him time to catch up and to avoid waiting when we finally reach there.”

Yukhei gives him a thumbs up. Jaehyun drags his gaze away from Donghyuck who adjusts Mark’s collar, the other teleporter blushing hard.

Jaehyun leans in and lowers his voice, “I know this is a bit too much to ask but keep an eye on Mark too, will you? I’ll keep track of Jisung.”

Yukhei nods, hands tightening on the steering wheel in nervous anticipation.

Jaehyun ruffles his hair and smiles, dimples on display.

In some other world, Yukhei can imagine Jaehyun being a successful idol and breaking millions of hearts. But in this world, Jaehyun is one man among many who cannot afford to stop anywhere.

Johnny’s car becomes a spot in the distance and Jisung joins Taeyong and Taeil in Jaehyun’s car.

Yukhei twists the rearview mirror catching Mark link his hands with Donghyuck’s.

Jungwoo waves a hand in front of him.

Yukhei doesn’t react, pulling the gear forcibly and shifting it to first as he drives away from the house. He shifts gears quickly, taking advantage of the weird lull in traffic between office rush hours and lunch hours.

 _Slowly, Xuxi,_ he hears.

He turns to look at Jungwoo but the elder has his earphones shoved inside his ears, eyes closed to the rest of the world.

“Yukhei, dude, slow down.”

Mark says a few minutes later, leaning forward through the gap between the driver’s seat and the passenger seat.

Yukhei shakes his head and apologizes quickly to Mark, giving Donghyuck a subtle look in the mirror.

He feels sweat drip down the sides of his face and they’re at a red light, so Yukhei wipes it away with the back of his hand.

 _You don’t have to go,_ the voice says again.

Yukhei pulls at his hair.

“Yukhei? Dude, you okay?” Yukhei hears Mark’s voice but his limbs freeze for a second and then Jungwoo is inside his mind.

“Come back, Yukhei,” The telepath whispers and then, Yukhei is shifting gears again and driving forward with three panicked passengers.

“I’ll be fine. I think it’s just stuff getting to me,” Yukhei explains seeing the panicked glances on the trio’s face, Jaehyun’s car still visible but a little away from them.

Jungwoo opens his mouth to say something but Yukhei shakes his head.

“Not now, hyung. We have to go there and help them. Everything else is secondary.”

 _“Don’t push yourself, Yukhei,”_ Donghyuck signs when they reach a red light.

 _“I won’t, Sparkles,”_ Yukhei signs back.

Mark’s gaze feels heavy on the side of his head.

 

***

 

Yukhei expected something immensely different from what is in front of him. They are at an abandoned string of three buildings, one unfinished except for four walls, no ceiling built, the paint peeling off the walls and three cars, all looking beat, parked to the side.

He should have seen this coming when they took the detour from the camera covered region to the dead part of town. He’s not a fool though. None of them are. He can see the cameras hiding behind the seemingly ruined structures and knows that there are a group of men waiting to kill them.

Y Zone is famous for their love for violent brawls just like almost all street resistance gangs are.

They step out of the car, walking to the area where the others stand.

He throws a lingering glance to the cement ground. It was not going to stay grey and boring for long now.

Jisung steps to the front. Johnny puts an arm on his shoulder, eyebrows furrowed in concern. The boy halts but doesn’t step back.

“Look at you. I thought you’d come alone, Park. You brought an army,” A burly man says, stepping out of one of the cars, more men, more _boys_ coming from behind the buildings.

“You knew we were coming then?” Johnny asks, face set in an ugly smile Yukhei can only get the side view of.

“Of course. Park loves his brothers a little too much, don’t you?”

Jisung makes an attempt to step forward again, Jaehyun coming up on the other side to block him.

“Let them go. We can avoid all of this, you don’t have to waste your weapons on us. Nothing has to happen. Just let them go,” Doyoung says, body language that of a person who has done this far too many times but Yukhei knows that negotiation doesn’t work, not when people who grew up with nothing but hatred in their black hearts for people with abilities were involved.

“Waste our weapons?” The man laughs, Yukhei cringes at the almost stupid movie-like setup and actions as his gang follow the leader’s unpleasant guffaws.

“We aren’t going to waste our weapons because none of you cursed bastards are leaving here alone.”

Basically, just a declaration of war.

Jaehyun curses under his breath, Yukhei feels Donghyuck freeze behind him. He looks up to see two men drag two boys to the front, both of them thin, one tall and the other significantly shorter, their feet bare and bleeding and patches of what Yukhei just _knows_ is blood all over their clothes, faces bruised horribly, littered with cuts all over.

“Nana hyung...” Jisung calls out loudly and it’s the first real words he’s uttered with emotion, Yukhei notes. Jaehyun keeps him on their side with a hand on his wrist.

The taller of the two look up at Jisung and smirks, spitting blood on the floor in true cocky hero fashion.

“Injunie... Jisung’s here,” Nana, _Jaemin_ , Yukhei remembers from the conversation in the morning declares, almost wheezing out the words.

The other boy, Renjun, just sighs, not having enough energy to raise his head up, instead raising his hands, doing a two-finger salute.

Yukhei smiles at the gesture.

These Ables were worth saving, after all, he thinks, even if he can trace Jisung’s lack of filter right back to the injured pair.

“We asked them a million times to turn back time just for a week. A week. They refused, Park. These insolent whores refused!! The binding linker, Jooheon? Jungho?..”

“It’s Jeno, you fucker,” Jaemin breathes coldly, gaze fierce even as blood drips down from a cut on his forehead.

The leader of Y Zone laughs infuriatingly, “Touchy, aren’t you? Jeno took a good beating. This one almost gave up but Jeno stopped him. We had to shift him to the other room, didn’t we, Jaemin-ah? The screamer kid had to be moved too. He was screaming so loud, wasn’t he?”

The man drags a clean finger over Jaemin’s face, the boy flinching away and Yukhei’s hands vibrate in barely concealed anger.

Screamer kid, Chenle, Yukhei realizes, fear settling in, adrenaline coursing.

Taeil throws the others in a curveball, clapping for attention, stepping forward from where he was standing next to the car.

“If your obligatory villain speech is over, let’s get to the actual fight. We don’t have all day.”

Yukhei snorts, Donghyuck pawing at his back for him to sign, snorting when Yukhei finally does. Mark laughs once he hears Donghyuck snort.

Ten has a lethal smirk on his face when the men march at them.

Johnny and Jaehyun push Jisung to the back at the exact same moment, Yukhei’s eyes widening at the way Taeyong, Ten and Doyoung form a second line of defence behind the twin towers.

They weren’t joking when they said they had done this a million times before, Yukhei realizes.

The man in front of him throws a punch, Yukhei drags him up by his fist and teleports behind him, spinning and kicking him in the back, twisting his neck, the crack resonating through his hands.

Jaehyun fights hand-to-hand, choosing to snap his fingers to burn the men if there’s more than three.

He’s giving them a chance, Yukhei understands.

But Yukhei doesn’t have any mercy left.

He barrels through the gang, kicking left and right and punching whoever is in his way.

Ten backflips, using his hands to draw up a bunch of rocks from the vicinity to throw at the men on his landing. He steps back gracefully, hands beckoning the tall, stocky man in front of him, kittenish lips pulling up at the corners.

A moment passes and Yukhei turns at Doyoung yelling Jaehyun’s name. Mark teleports the elder man out of the way of the gun, nodding at Yukhei before teleporting to Taeil to help the Listener with the three men he is fighting.

Taeyong’s hand flickers like lightning whenever he makes contact with one of the men.

Atmokinesis, Yukhei remembers, mentally smacking himself for his forgetfulness.

Yukhei drags another man from the ground and slits his throat, warm blood hitting him in the face, Mark doing the same right next to him, Donghyuck holding his own against three men, lifting daggers and snapping his fingers to heat it before motioning it to sink into the others’ bodies.

Jisung stabs three men in succession, not even attempting hand-to-hand combat knowing his strengths. He spin-kicks the man going to tackle Doyoung to the ground. Taeyong catches a stumbling Doyoung and supports him, the telekinetic man punching the man who comes for Taeyong from the back.

But when the leader grins from the distance, blue lasers blinking at them, Yukhei freezes, pulling the knife from the man he is fighting, impaling it right into his chest.

“BLOCKER GUNS!!!” He yells, just as bullets whizz past them, a battalion of boys walking towards them, the few men who are left, lying low on the ground.

Doyoung and Ten get up, palms open, and bends the bullet shower out of the way.

Telekinesis is very handy.

The boys who are walking towards them are armed with nothing. Yukhei frowns at the weird get up, creeped out by how similar they look. They look way too chill for someone who is in a fight, steps calculated, pacing slow, faces inexpressive.

“Mark, something is off,” He says, stabbing another man, watching Johnny fight one of the boys with great difficulty.

“COULD YOU BE A LITTLE,” Mark grunts as he flips a man over, kicking him in the face, “CLEARER?”

“THE BOYS,” Yukhei teleports to Taeyong, helps him with the guy choking him and teleports right next to Mark’s side, “THE BOYS, THEY DON’T LOOK HUMAN!”

Mark bends down to break the man’s neck and stills, getting up, Doyoung passing behind Yukhei in a blur, stabbing two men with his knives. Jungwoo ducks out of the way of the tall man running at him with a metal baton and knees him in the crotch.

“Holy shit, you’re right,” Mark says, teleporting to Johnny right after to help pull the boy off, face scrunching up and going red as if they’re too heavy to be pulled off like that.

Johnny isn’t able to move an inch even with Mark’s help.

Yukhei teleports to Jaehyun who seem to be having the same issue, the lanky boy in front of him, standing still as fire emits from Jaehyun’s palms into his body.

Nothing happens.

Then the boy punches Jaehyun and he recoils, blood splattering on the ground. Yukhei pulls the elder away and teleports, Jungwoo bending down and hitting one of the boys with a metal club from the ground.

“They’re not human. We need a Plan B.” Yukhei hurriedly states.

“We don’t have a Plan B,” Jaehyun tells him, creating a fire shield in front of Jisung, sprinting away from Yukhei to kick at the boy Jisung is fighting.

It’s useless.

Jisung phases back and forth between the boy’s body, using his power to his advantage.

Ten gets rammed to the ground by another boy, Doyoung’s arms shaking as he tries to pull the boy away from the Thai man.

Yukhei punches one in the face, pushing Taeil behind him, the Listener’s fists raw and bleeding from the constant right hooks.

“FUCK, THAT HURTS,” Yukhei cries out, a similar cry escaping Mark in the next few seconds as the boy pinning down Johnny turns around and gets off of him, the other teleporter punching him in the face.

“STAND DOWN!” The leader declares, spit coming out of his mouth with the force. Jaemin and Renjun lean against each other for support.

The boys freeze in their positions.

“This is what I wanted to show you. They’re perfect, aren’t they? HOAX has better ones though. This is just my attempt at recreating people like you but something went wrong just like HOAX’s project. That’s why I needed a Looper to help with turning back time so that I can stop the last update I did last week, and buy some more time,” He kicks at Renjun, the boy groaning loudly in response, Jisung running to them only to get stopped by a blood-soaked Taeyong.

“But, since none of you will help, I have nothing to do with you except to escort you to your deaths,” The man declares, smiling as he presses a button on his watch, the eyes of the boys, _bots_ , blinking blue like the Blocker guns.

One of the bots punches Yukhei from the left, his ears ringing for a second before he feels someone pull him up with surprising strength. He turns his head to see Donghyuck, a few cuts marring his face and ears bleeding, the side of his lip bruised.

 _“Get the others and move to the side, I have a plan,”_ Donghyuck signs quickly, Yukhei’s ears still echoing with the sound of a heart monitor flat-lining. It stops when Donghyuck pats him on the cheek with his soft hand before he disappears.

Yukhei is dusting himself off and getting up when the leader sneaks upon Mark with a Blocker taser. Before he knows it, he is teleporting and pushing Mark out of the way—

\--and getting himself tasered.

The world around him stills and then Yukhei feels a weird kind of electricity pulsed through him, his body convulsing, the pain worsening when he tries to teleport, the world quaking violently. He sees Mark punch the man and then, he can no longer focus on anything except the pain anymore.

Then... it stops.

Jungwoo pulls the taser off of him but it’s dead even before he does. Yukhei hears Mark whisper Donghyuck’s name.

Yukhei sits up and Donghyuck is jeering at thin air, eyes electric blue, clear blue flames around him.

More than that, the bots are no longer there, simply shadows on the ground in coal black where they used to be. The leader is a shadow on the ground too, Jaemin and Renjun unharmed next to him.

Even the bodies of the men they killed have been wiped away, only black smudges remaining.

Yukhei inhales deeply, his chest feeling like it’s on fire.

Mark is frozen where he is, eyes wide, flickering to Yukhei once before settling on Donghyuck back again.

Jaehyun shuffles closer to Donghyuck but Taeil and Taeyong stop him at the same time with a hand on both his arms.

“Donghyuck-ah,” Taeyong softly calls, voice shaking.

Donghyuck doesn’t budge.

Yukhei has no clue as to what is going on, the only thing he can focus on being the weird feeling inside him, like there’s a fire inside which he doesn’t know of. Jungwoo gasps next to him when Donghyuck turns,—

\--walking straight to him.

Yukhei is, strangely, not scared.

Mark teleports to Jungwoo and takes him next to Johnny, the telepath clinging to Doyoung. When Mark is about to teleport again, Taeyong stops him.

The other teleporter gives Yukhei a panicked glance but there is no fear in his eyes, not really.

Mark is awed, Yukhei understands.

Donghyuck is still glowing when he reaches Yukhei. Yukhei looks up at him and the burning from deep inside his chest is amplified.

The younger man crouches in front of him and he raises his hands, still haloed with blue flames and puts it on Yukhei’s cheeks.

It doesn’t burn.

He hears several gasps but he is too occupied staring into Donghyuck’s blazing blue eyes. He holds the touch for a moment.

Then the glow dies down and he collapses forward into Yukhei. Yukhei finds his arms too heavy to hold them up and wrap them around Donghyuck.

Mark and Jaehyun run to him and gently pulls him away, the other boy limp in their grip while Yukhei stays frozen on the ground.

In his peripheral vision, Yukhei can see Jisung running to Jaemin and Renjun, hugging them tightly. He gets up, his legs alarmingly shaky and almost falls down but Johnny supports him with a hand. Yukhei closes his eyes and leans on the taller man for a minute before he moves away with a look of gratitude.

Taeyong runs to Yukhei, Jungwoo and Doyoung in tow.

“We need to find Jeno and Chenle,” He says in a rush.

Yukhei hums, vision still a little hazy. He is about to teleport when Doyoung speaks up, “Yukhei, you’re tired. We’ll go and look for him.”

He feels like he melts under their gazes but he shakes his head firmly, Taeyong sighing in defeat.

“Jisung, get them to the car. Taeil hyung will unlock it for you. We’ll get Jeno and Chenle,” Johnny says, leading the way into the building.

“Level 3. Second building,” Jaemin whispers, stopping Ten with a hand on his wrist.

The Thai man smiles at him comfortingly and nods.

Just like the Looper had said, Jeno and Chenle are there. The younger boy is unconscious, gagged with a ball of cloth, his face looking like it took a bunch of hits, tied to a chair.

Jeno, however, is a completely different story. A whole different library in fact.

His black hair is wet with blood, the strands clumped together and dripping drops of crimson onto his tank top. He is tied to a frame of metal tubes, one hand looking too limp to not be broken. Yukhei winces at the bruises all over his scarily pale body.

It had only been around 2 days but they had already done enough to kill Jeno.

“Hyung,” Jungwoo chokes out.

Johnny snaps into action and climbs the tube, Ten on the other side to cut the barbed wire ties. Yukhei winces at the way Johnny delicately pulls the wire away so as to not pull out any more skin than it already had.

Doyoung pulls Jungwoo to untie Chenle from the chair.

Taeyong’s face is serious as he and Yukhei untie the wires around Jeno’s ankles.

“We’re gonna lower him down, okay? Be careful with his wounds. There are so many,” Johnny directs, Ten’s palms wide as he lowers the unconscious boy into Yukhei’s arms.

Yukhei nods, hugging Jeno to his chest when Ten retracts the telekinetic pull. Johnny climbs down and takes the younger boy from him, lifting him up like a child and walking out, extremely careful and gentle, Taeyong and Ten right behind him.

Doyoung walks out with Chenle cradled in his arms, Jungwoo walking in front of him.

Yukhei stares at the door, feeling a storm of rage overtake him.

Doyoung pauses and turns back, Chenle still limp in his arms.

“Yukhei?”

Yukhei grits his teeth and clenches his fist.

“They’re just kids. He’s a child,” Yukhei grits out.

Doyoung smiles cynically.

“They don’t care. They never have. They never will.”

Perhaps this is why Yukhei feels no guilt or sympathy for the men that Donghyuck wiped out.

Perhaps this is why a part of him rejoices when Jaehyun burns the place to the ground, turning to him with eyes that reflect the end of one branch of the merciless.

“Jaehyun, I’m gonna drive them to Jongup hyung. They need a healer,” Johnny declares.

Jaehyun nods, Taeyong clutching his bicep in a death grip.

“What about Donghyuck?” Yukhei asks.

“He’ll be fine. We’ll be fine,” Taeyong answers.

For now, that is enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COME YELL AT ME ON [Twitter](https://twitter.com/_Crimsun_) or [CC](https://curiouscat.me/Crimsun)


	8. Bouts of sense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh... hey guys! Here's chapter 8 after a loooooooooooooong wait.

Yukhei doesn’t drive on the way back, Jungwoo stopping him as he unlocks the car, cajoling the cool metal keys from his fist, his concerned gaze fixed on him. Mark had helped Donghyuck to Jaehyun’s car in the rush, choosing to stay with them and so it’s Taeil who occupies the backseat now.

Yukhei feels a little out of place, like he wants to be at two places at once.

He knows where he wants to be but the other direction in which his heart is pulling him is somewhere he doesn’t know, a blurry picture he’s probably supposed to remember, but doesn’t.

“Do you recognize it?” Jungwoo asks, as if out of the blue even though Yukhei knows better, the telepath’s eyes still on the road, slender hands turning the wheel.

Yukhei wants to get angry at him for rifling through his brain again but he doesn’t.

“No,” he says and wonders why he sounds so… _sad_ uttering this one syllable.

Jungwoo throws him an apologetic look as if he understands, flicking his gaze once at him before training it back on the road, Jaehyun’s car in the distance, but not out of sight.

_Xuxi, don’t run so fast, you’ll fall!_

“I won’t,” Yukhei whispers, eyes closed.

“What was that?” Jungwoo asks him, but Yukhei doesn’t open his eyes.

“I said I won’t fall.”

There’s an offbeat silence. Yukhei’s eyes flutter open.

“What?” He hisses at Jungwoo because he’s toeing a line and he isn’t sure if he should run back to safety or step into the unknown.

“I didn’t ask anything, Yukhei,” Jungwoo answers, voice softer than ever, eyes pointed in a weary attempt to seem calm.

_Oh._

He wonders if he should tell Jungwoo about what’s been happening but decides that maybe now is not the best time.

When he glances up at the mirror to check on Taeil, he finds much to his surprise, the elder man’s sharp gaze already fixed on him with a knowing look.

Yukhei tries not to dwell too much on it but his mind remains restless, deaf to his requests to slow down and he runs back to where he’s safe but the insistent hand on his jacket never leaves him.

 

***

 

Jaehyun looks down at Donghyuck cradled in his arms as Jungwoo unlocks the front door. He feels the intense gazes of Mark and Yukhei settle on his back but keeps himself from asking them to stop. Taeyong places a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Donghyuck is held close to his chest, scarily still, save for the steady drawl of his breathing.

Jaehyun makes a beeline to Donghyuck’s room, Taeil opening the door for him, having overtaken him with small but quick steps. He subtly glances at the Listener who blinks once in acknowledgement.

Jaehyun gently lays Donghyuck on the mattress, the cushiony surface sinking under the weight of the younger. Taeyong steps forward and removes his shoes, sliding them under the bed. He moves to take his socks off, but stops as he pulls it down halfway through his feet. Jaehyun shoots him a questioning glance, silently communicating.

“He’s cold,” Taeyong says, the set of his eyebrows not easing up.

Jungwoo circumvents Jaehyun and places his hand on the maknae’s forehead, sighing once before he pushes his hair back gently.

“I can’t get a read on him,” he mumbles, frowning.

Jaehyun raises his eyes to meet Taeil’s, but the other man shakes his head.

“I’ve got nothing too. He must be drained,” Taeil reasons, seeming a little uncertain.

Jaehyun straightens his back and pinches the bridge of his nose, turning to see Yukhei at the threshold, hovering, staring as if scared to come inside. Mark is standing farther away from the bed too, probably not wanting to disturb them from doing whatever he thinks they are about to.

Jaehyun’s heart aches in the distance because in this moment, no matter the amount of power he knows the duo has, they look like children.

Scared children.

“Come on,” he says and gestures, Taeyong moving behind him to make way for them.

Mark turns back and looks at Yukhei, who motions for him to go ahead but Mark shakes his head.

Jaehyun sighs in barely concealed frustration.

“Both of you,” he says.

Blinking once, Mark steps towards him first, Yukhei needing another stern glance before he shuffles inside the room, shoulders hunched and arms hanging as he follows the other teleporter.

Taeyong shoots him a meaningful look and then looks at Donghyuck’s feet.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what he’s hinting at.

Jaehyun wills his palms to heat up, fire flowing through his body in controlled stutters, hands glowing just a little as he touches the underside of Donghyuck’s feet, hissing as the cold skin meets his warmth.

He takes his hands away when the prolonged exposure has no effect on the temperature of Donghyuck’s skin. He shakes his head in defeat, knowing that he doesn’t need words to tell the onlookers that his powers aren’t helping.

“Mark,” Taeil calls from the side, “stay with him. Your presence will help him.”

Owlishly blinking again, Mark nods after just a moment.

Jaehyun tries not to focus on the way Yukhei pulls his hands away from Donghyuck at the speed of light just as Mark sits down on the bed and loops his fingers with an unconscious Donghyuck’s, the younger moving for the first time since he fainted as he weakly squeezes back. Mark flinches and stares back at them as if asking _“Did you see that?”_

Jaehyun only sighs in response.

Taeyong herds Taeil and Jungwoo outside, the telepath and Listener following willingly probably knowing they need to give the pair some space. Jaehyun pats Mark once, the younger telepath turning once and rising to his feet.

“Hyung, he,” he struggles, “What happened to him?”

Jaehyun looks at his earnest expression and wonders if it’s his place to explain but decides that if anything, Mark deserves some answers at least.

“He reacted.”

Mark frowns.

“To what?” Yukhei asks, still standing at the foot of the bed.

Jaehyun can’t help but notice that Yukhei’s tone is different from what he is used to. He chalks it up to the events of the day.

“To you getting hurt,” Jaehyun says.

“So he’s gonna wake up, right?” Mark asks, innocently.

Jaehyun smiles.

“Of course he is.”

He sees the shorter teleporter relax visibly.

But Yukhei looks at him like he has more questions to ask.

“Has this happened before?”

Jaehyun nods, trying to tell him that it’s not something he wants to talk about but curiosity is unquenchable as long as they are in the zone of the unknown.

“It has but you have to know, he doesn’t like it. Try to not ask him about it when he wakes up. He’ll need time. Please give him that.”

Jaehyun doesn’t wait around for an answer, probably because his instincts tell him that staying would mean more questions, and he would feel bad for hiding away things, even if it’s not his place to divulge them. He shuts the door softly behind him, looping his fingers with Taeyong who waits just outside the door. He reassuringly squeezes his hands in a comforting gesture.

He has missed this.

It takes him a few minutes, and the gentle click of his room’s door as Taeyong shuts it behind him to realize that he had closed the door with Yukhei still in the room.

He hopes it is another sign because today was enough proof to know that somewhere along, his instincts had been right as to what was going on. But he couldn’t talk about it until he was sure and certainty would need to come with some more substantial instances before his hypothesis would change to a fact.

And that would need time.

Time he hoped they had but was certain they didn’t.

Taeyong takes off his jacket and shoes, settling on the bed, his soft gaze fixed on Jaehyun, hands coming up to press against the small cut on the side of his lip.

Jaehyun doesn’t react to the cooling sensation spreading all over him, letting his eyes wander over the pale skin of his Half, the worried set of his eyebrows ever the same.

“You did well,” Taeyong praises after another moment of intense staring.

Jaehyun smiles, putting his hands on Taeyong’s forearms and pulls him closer on the bed. Taeyong gasps, making Jaehyun look up at him in worry and flinch away.

Taeyong blushes in response and grabs Jaehyun’s hands.

“It’s the bond. It’s like the first time all over again,” the former telepath whispers.

Jaehyun nods, understanding finally dawning on him, albeit slowly. He smiles again as he leans forward and places his hands on either side of Taeyong’s neck. He presses a lingering kiss against his forehead. When he pulls away, Taeyong’s eyes are still closed.

It takes him a moment to open them and when he does, they’re a beautiful, soft green.

“Hyung,” Jaehyun trails off, awed at how quickly the bond was pulling them back together but Taeyong blinks and his eyes return to the chestnut brown that Jaehyun is more than familiar with.

“Your eyes were green,” he says, a delayed moment after, lost in the way Taeyong looks at him with so much love, all palpable on his face.

“I know. I could hear you for a second,” Taeyong confesses.

 _Hear_ him.

_His thoughts._

Jaehyun takes a deep breath. It’s too much, too many emotions seizing his chest, and Taeyong probably understands because he moves away but Jaehyun keeps him close, shaking his head emphatically, one hand crawling down from Taeyong’s neck to press flat against his chest, the elder’s heartbeat thudding loud and clear under his skin. Jaehyun directs Taeyong’s hand towards his chest, pressing his smaller hand against his own chest.

He doesn’t know what comes over him but he moves even closer and rests his forehead on Taeyong’s bony shoulder and breathes in his enticing scent. For some moments, it’s like nothing else exists on this realm except them and Jaehyun wants to ask the million questions, wants to address the million worries he had during the years they stayed away but in this suspended lull of time, this is more than enough because no matter the frustration and anger he felt during the break with an unforeseeable future in the distance, he never hated Taeyong. All he wanted then was to have him like this, right in between his arms, to feel his heart beat right under his palm, to inhale his scent and remember exactly what it felt like to have him close.

Taeyong mumbles an apology and Jaehyun doesn’t reply for several moments. He doesn’t know any thing that can help make the guilt go away.

He settles for an apology of his own a delayed minute later because as much as he knows Taeyong did what he did out of his own will, he, himself had failed his soul mate in a way by making him feel like he couldn’t reach out.

It’s stupid but this is the only way he knows how to deal with this pain that still seizes his chest even with Taeyong here but he’s not going to act like a child and pretend that he’s angry when this is all he has wanted in these two years, when the subject of every litany he uttered in the dark of the nights has been the man in front of him.

Love hurts sometimes and Jaehyun knows he’s no exception to not experience both the extremes.

But right now, he can’t help but be selfish that they’ll be left alone from now on.

It’s much too hopeful than what he can afford to be but no one said he couldn’t wish for it.

He asks for it with all his might and when Taeyong whispers another apology along with three words that never fail to make his heart pound faster, he thanks omnipotence.

“It’s been a while since Donghyuck reacted like that,” Taeyong says a little later, when they’re both showered and void of blood and dirt.

Jaehyun freezes, nails digging into his palms. Taeyong turns to him after he pulls a t-shirt over and glances, a clandestine question lighting his eyes.

Jaehyun shakes his head.

Two years hadn’t been simple, not for him, not for Donghyuck.

“Did he…?”

Taeyong asks when Jaehyun doesn’t voice out his thoughts.

“Thrice,” he answers.

Taeyong’s eyes widen, fear leaking in from every corner and colouring his red-tinged gaze.

“Why?” He manages to stutter out with great discomfort on his face.

Jaehyun shrugs but he should know better, and he _does_ know better that Taeyong wouldn’t let that go, not when the incidents were clearly significant enough for Donghyuck’s powers to be triggered.

“Jaehyun, tell me.” Taeyong is tenacious.

“Twice because of me. Once because Johnny hyung was hurt,” he says, hoping that Taeyong wouldn’t ask more because he doesn’t want to remember, doesn’t want to think about how he would find Donghyuck staring at things for hours, tears rolling down his cheeks, guilt-ridden, suffocating in agonizing silence.

Taeyong stills and throws the wet towel on the chair, opening his mouth and closing it as if at a lack of words.

He holds his hand out, asking for Jaehyun to get up soundlessly. Jaehyun hesitates, mostly because he knows what his Half wants.

“Show me,” Taeyong whispers, voice frighteningly stable.

“Hyung,” he starts to protest but Taeyong shakes his head sternly and pulls at the soft fabric of his shirt. Jaehyun unwillingly shreds his top, throwing it on the bed and looks up to meet Taeyong’s sparkling eyes.

The elder’s gaze flicks down to map the web of scars on his torso, an inch or so away from his heart from when an electrokinetic went out of control. He had to step in to shield a man in the neighbourhood they were staying at but he hadn’t convulsed for too long, Donghyuck stepping in before Ten could react.

“Are there more?” Taeyong mumble-asks, voice cracking pitifully.

Jaehyun shakes his head and turns around, letting Taeyong see the long scar that ran diagonally down his back from a particular bad run-in with a HOAX agent armed with a Blocker sword.

He hears a low gasp, skin meeting skin as Taeyong cups his mouth to keep in the sobs that would escape otherwise.

He turns around and places his hands on either side of Taeyong’s head, leaning down so that their foreheads meet, a small act of reassurance that is as easy as it was two years ago, and Taeyong finally lets the tears fall. This close, Jaehyun can smell the scent of salt but he closes his eyes again.

Closing his eyes.

It’s become a habit of sorts because after so many days, long delays and the bare few of his good dreams cut short, he has learnt to see Taeyong without actually seeing him and Jaehyun has to remind himself over and over again, like a vinyl stuck in a player that the song which he never got past is over, skipped like it never existed like the two years which just looks like a glitch in the grand scheme of things now.

That Taeyong is here right now, not a fragment from a reverie, not an image crafted with an odd mixture of some of the blurriest and sharpest memories, but _actually_ here, in the flesh, with a pounding heart, slow smile and kind eyes.

Taeyong’s hands tremble as they touch the slightly raised skin of Jaehyun’s chest, feather light and delicate, and if he didn’t know better he wouldn’t know he was touching at all.

“It’s okay. I’m fine now,” he says.

“I should have felt this. I was supposed to feel this but I wasn’t there to share your pain,” Taeyong whimpers, pretty eyelashes wet from tears, lips wobbling, shoulders and hands shaking uncontrollably the more Jaehyun looks at him, searching for an answer which will make it all stop.

But there isn’t.

“It’s okay, hyung. You did what you had to and I understand. Can we just… please focus on now? I’m done living in the past. Please… please don’t make me go back there,” Jaehyun begs, his voice barely a beat above a whisper.

Taeyong places his hands on Jaehyun’s, a look of utter and complete regret but also love clear on his face. He pulls Jaehyun’s hands away and kisses his palms before he leans in to plant a lingering kiss on Jaehyun’s lips.

It’s instinct, a habit that has stuck itself to every curvature of his world that makes him place his hands on the jutting bones of Taeyong’s hips, velvety smooth skin sending chills down his spine just from a single touch. He leans down and kisses his Half, properly this time, no fear, just a whole lot of love, a prayer, an answer, everything and nothing all at once.

Taeyong keens into his mouth, speaking the words Jaehyun thinks he’ll need to hear over and over to believe.

“I’m never leaving again. I’m sorry but not again. I promise. I promise, Jaehyun.”

Some part of him tells him that Taeyong will repeat it a million times over, in darkness and in light, until he finally _believes_.

 

***

 

Yukhei doesn’t want to intrude the silence that has set inside the room as he sits with his head pillowed on one side of the bed, next to Donghyuck’s hand. He keeps his hands from touching the other for some reason unknown to himself.

Mark is lying next to Donghyuck, arm folded under his head, staring intensely at the planes of the younger’s face as if he has too many questions, but there’s an edge of worry and something else Yukhei can’t discern in his eyes.

The atmosphere is strange, not uncomfortably so but just shifty enough with the three of them breathing weirdly in sync. Yukhei tries to be silent, he really does, but that would mean that he stop breathing which is kind of what he has been avoiding doing all his life.

He loves life. Sue him.

“Why you?” Mark asks, several moments later, his gaze still fixed on Donghyuck, painful longing visible in the cut of his face.

Yukhei doesn’t understand but Mark gets up after a moment and his jaw is tense.

It takes yet another terse moment for him to comprehend the meaning behind his words but before Yukhei can force an apology out of his mouth, Mark sighs, a sound of anger and frustration.

“They said he’s mine but then, why is he… why did he react to you getting hurt like that?” He pauses and repeats, “Why you?”

Something about the way he says it doesn’t sit well with Yukhei. He straightens up, rising to his feet, secretly finding joy in the way Mark has to look up at him even if he’s standing a few feet away, the bed in the middle.

“He’s yours? He’s not a property, Slow Lee,” Yukhei says but he doesn’t intend for the words to come out as scathing as it does. The nick name comes out sounding sharper even if the only reason he tacked that on was to lessen the blow of the rest of his words.

Mark lets the façade fall, letting his anger take wheel.

“Don’t fucking call me that, you prick,” he spits. “He’s my Half. I’m sure you know what that means.”

“Do I now? He’s your Half, not your property for you to get all territorial over!” Yukhei seethes, teeth gritting at the audacity of Mark to imply what he knows he is.

He wonders why he’s getting worked up so soon. Fighting fire with fire has never been his thing and he had always been against it. He thinks that things have changed, that they are changing with how he can see the cracks in his charade; one he didn’t know was fake.

“That’s right. He’s my Half. Mine. Not yours. Not anyone else’s.”

Mark’s words are positively dripping venom and some part of Yukhei wants to punch the daylights out of him but he can see the visible effort Mark is putting in to avoid doing just that to him too.

“Do you even hear yourself? The bond doesn’t mean he can’t make his decisions, you know? If he wants to choose someone else, he can and he will.”

Yukhei reasons, wanting to take the words back a moment later when Mark stares at him like he has betrayed everything he has ever known.

Mark opens his mouth once and closes it, huffing as if in pain, blinking away the tears Yukhei only just noticed were threatening to spill over, gaze still as intense, still furious but with an underlying strain of something like a plea.

“I’ve waited. I’ve waited for him since I was twelve. I don’t expect you to understand but he was chosen for me. He was made for me. If he wants someone else, I’d… I’d rather die, Yukhei.” Mark’s voice cracks pathetically and Yukhei sits back down, legs giving up on him at the hurt that translates to him from his words, head facing the ground, guilt seizing his heart.

It’s like all the rage inside him dies down in just a matter of seconds. It’s too much emotion, all at once. Too much for him. Too much for the other teleporter.

But nothing can repudiate the truth.

They’re both in pain.

But Mark has more to say, like an unhinged tempest that’s been let loose after a long time.

“You think I don’t see the way you look at him? I do. I know exactly what it means because I look at him like that too and it hurts because I can’t talk to him the way you can and you’ve known him longer and I can’t… It’s hard to ignore what I see and I don’t want to but I’m scared that if he had a choice, he’d choose you.” Mark takes a shaky breath and continues, “And the worst part is that I’d let him do it.”

Yukhei wants to point out that Mark is being a self-contradicting idiot but at the moment, he can only focus on what the implications are.

“I don’t… I don’t want to take him away from you, Mark.”

It’s the first time he’s actually called Mark by his name but he figures that right now is the best opportunity.

After all, even when Yukhei had nothing, he had had his name.

Mark runs a hand through his hair, nodding right after.

“I just… I know,” he whispers out, kneeling next to the bed, hand reaching for Donghyuck’s limp one.

He keeps mumbling something and Yukhei tries hard to listen in without stepping closer.

It’s a steady stream of apologies, three words repeated over and over and Yukhei feels pain lodge in his chest, his hands aching to reach out but he’s scared so he chooses to walk out, teleporting right after he lets Jungwoo know he’s leaving for some fresh air, not waiting to hear the next of the telepath’s words.

 

***

 

Jaehyun takes a good look at the newcomers as they enter the room, soundless drags of their feet and heaving, off sync breaths trickling in and blending with the silence in the background.

Jisung’s eyebrows are set in a worried frown but now that Jaehyun sees him like this, he’s not as antsy, not like he was the day before when he woke them up in the middle of the night, a sombre teen with the ruthless world weighing him down, the fate of his loved ones unknown. His eyes do a quick rundown of the room and his shoulders slump a little. It doesn’t come as a surprise to Jaehyun that the disappointment rose from the absence of the boy powered by empathy and so much more.

Jisung’s fingers are looped with Chenle’s, the other boy’s glances fidgety even with Ten’s palm pressed to the small of his back.

They’re kids and such a fate should not befall someone as innocent as them but growing up too early when you were an Able was as common as any normal thing. He would change it all if he could but he can’t and he seethes in quiet fury.

Doyoung supports the boy whom Jaehyun remembers as being the one who spat at the leader with one of his arms around his waist, the other holding his hand. Jaemin, he remembers, a moment later as Doyoung slowly lowers him to the couch.

 Jaemin’s clothes are still bloody and torn like Chenle’s but the cuts have healed and look significantly better, bruises a pinkish hue compared to the horrendous purple they were before. His eyes shine with an unbroken spirit, with enough strength in them that Jaehyun is sure played a part in how they have survived till now without an adult to look after them, without an aid or an ally to fall back upon. His mind quickly flashes back again to the way the boy spat at the Y-zone’s leader when he was chattering mindlessly, eyes fierce, the side of his face painted red.

Pride blooms in his chest. He sends a small smile his way when their eyes meet. The boy’s lips curve in a wide smile dripping with gratitude and it’s unfiltered, as real as it gets and Jaehyun feels blessed to be on the other end.

Taeyong escorts Renjun into the room, the shorter boy immediately reaching out to Jaemin who gets up, albeit not without a grunt of pain. It’s when Johnny nearly carries Jeno in that Jaehyun actually finds enough will in him to move.

Jungwoo and Taeil place the trays of juice on the coffee table just as Jaehyun places a gentle but firm hand around Jeno, the boy making a gurgling sound in response. Jaemin steps forward again as he hears the sound, a little wobbly on his feet but Ten stops him with a hand on his wrist.

Jaehyun sends them a reassuring look. He understands the distress and he is concerned too because Jeno doesn’t look much better than he did before and with them being in a triple bond, it must be twice as hard on Jeno to deal with not just his injuries, which are quite severe as it is without adding the pain from his Halves’.

Johnny halts suddenly, forcing Jaehyun to send a look of concern to him but the taller man adjusts his grip around Jeno and ignores him. Jaehyun knows better than to prod when it’s common knowledge that he’ll get his answers just as Johnny gets a chance to breathe.

“Jungwoo, do you mind if I take him to your room? He needs to lie down,” Johnny says but it doesn’t ring like a question and it takes a second for him to realize that it sounds like a plea.

Jungwoo nods immediately, stuttering out a quick agreement, throwing Johnny a pale look as he rushes to open his room’s door, glancing at Jeno with awe which makes no sense considering the situation.

It is a ghost of a thought in the background of Jaehyun’s mind, Yukhei and Mark’s absence that is. They must still be in the room with Donghyuck, he supposes.

Jaehyun lets his hold loosen on Jeno as Johnny helps him sit down on the bed but what’s worrying him more than everything is how Jeno can’t seem to straighten up properly. He keeps flopping to one side or the other even as he tries to sit straight and Johnny sits beside him on the bed, motioning for Jaehyun to do so on the other side with a pointed glance.

Jeno grunts in pain again, the inhumanly low sound of his teeth gritting hard just barely reaching his ears and Jaehyun’s heart thuds in panic as the boy flops forward, both his and Johnny’s arms creating a makeshift barrier in front of his chest to stop him. The eldest puts a hand around the boy and makes him lean on his side, his head resting on Johnny’s clavicle.

“Hyung,” Jeno whispers, barely a sound. Jaehyun turns to him even though he knows he must be calling for Johnny.

Johnny nods, just a subtle shake of his head.

Jeno’s too quiet and Jaehyun silently ponders if he’s restricting himself from crying out in pain, a lot of pain from what Jaehyun can see from the way he holds himself.

“Chenle,” Jeno says, eyes closed and the eldest throws him a meaningful glance.

Jaehyun gets up, walking out the door with intent.

The boy in question is leaning on the sofa. Jaehyun ignores the way Jaemin and Renjun perk up at his arrival into the room.

Jaehyun’s eyes swipe quickly over the room and he notices that Doyoung and Ten are not there. He assumes that they must have gone to see Donghyuck. Taeyong eyes him warily when he hovers behind the couch but Jaehyun blinks once and his Half nods in quiet understanding.

“Chenle, can you come with me?” He asks, the younger boy’s name strange on his tongue.

The boy nods hesitantly, untangling his fingers with Jisung and following him with muted steps.

Chenle shuts the door behind him for some reason, the lock clicking firmly in place, motions practised and face sombre. Jeno lifts his head for the first time since Jaehyun has seen him, with great effort, his eyes red and pained as he struggles to look up.

Jaehyun sees Chenle touching the door and when he turns, his eyes are gleaming silver for a moment before it dies down.

“Proofed,” he says and as if on cue, Jeno cries out, clinging to Johnny with his hands, the elder man staring at him in shock.

“I can’t… it hurts, hyung.”

Jaehyun wants to walk into fire and he feels himself tearing up at the way the boy nearly wails in pain. He had been right. Jeno had been holding in the screams for Lord knows how long, blocking the pain from his bondmates while simultaneously keeping his pain as much a secret as he possibly could.

Johnny freezes before he hugs him, hushing him with soft words and Jaehyun is reminded of how Johnny used to calm him down like that, years before in a distant memory, when he wasn’t a block of ice, hard to thaw and nearly unapproachable like he is now.

Chenle stares at Jeno with a serious look. His ability is clearly sound-related, Jaehyun figures from what he managed to save from the brainless rants of the brute they fought during the day. Jaehyun walks to the shorter boy, placing a hand on his shoulder in silent support because he knows it must be hard to see someone you love in pain like that but Chenle turns to him with eyes that scream strength.

“Jisung told me that one of your teleporters could heal. Can you get him? Please? I’ll pay you back, I promise.”

Jaehyun fumbles for words in shock. The sheer implication that they would want anything back for what they did makes him want to throw up.

“Chenle, you don’t… we don’t want you to pay us back for anything.”

The boy doesn’t look convinced but Jaehyun appreciates the suspicion. It doesn’t take too long for him to figure out how they’ve made it this far on their own.

“Hyung, I’ll get Mark.”

Johnny doesn’t respond vocally, sending him a glance over Jeno’s shoulder as he soothingly rubs down the other boy’s back with his large palms.

Jeno keeps whimpering in pain. Chenle stands near the door like a pillar even as Jaehyun’s heart hits his throat with how hard it is pounding for the crying boy on the bed.

He doesn’t have to go look for Mark because just as he is about to turn and walk down the hallway, said teleporter is being led in his direction by Doyoung and Ten.

“We asked Mark to take a look at Jeno.”

Doyoung has a knowing expression on his face as he says it and quite honestly, Jaehyun doesn’t know what they would do without this pair who works out things on instincts alone.

Mark looks a bit haggard but Jaehyun regards him and sees that he’s still in the clothes from the day. He would ask him to take a shower to get the blood and grime off him, but right now, their priorities are clear.

Jaehyun ushers Mark in, Jeno lying down now, Johnny’s hands clasping the younger boy’s. Ten shuts the door behind them this time.

Mark sits on the bed and closes his eyes as he touches Jeno only for his eyelids to shoot wide open the next moment, stumbling back with his palms spread wide.

“Mark?” Jaehyun calls.

“He’s been given something to slow down his healing,” he says, coming down from the initial shock that Jeno’s pain must have given him and rubs his forehead.

“Jongup hyung said that, but Jeno insisted that they all be healed before him and hyung couldn’t do much because he was so drained,” Ten says, sitting down on the couch on the side.

Jeno whimpers again and Johnny calls Mark’s name, the young teleporter stepping forward, his hands finding Jeno’s left hand.

“He has a crack in his spine and fuck… he has other spine injuries too,” Mark mutters, shaking his head.

“Explains why he was flopping like a flower,” Ten comments, making Doyoung and Johnny direct their glares at him.

Jeno cries out again when Mark tries to move his hand to look at his torso. Chenle shivers from where he is standing pressed close to the door.

Mark lets out a long-suffering sigh but he looks calmer right after, the tension in his shoulders diluting somehow, not that Jaehyun cared, not if it would help the boy in agony who lay on the bed with his eyes screwed shut in pain, teeth gritted tight.

Jaehyun watches Mark’s hands glow as he touches Jeno. It’s a tense few moments but then the whimpering dies down. Doyoung steps closer to the bed and takes a handkerchief out of his pocket to wipe the tears and traces of blood from the boy’s face. Johnny gives him an appreciative smile, finally loosening his hold on the younger boy.

Mark stumbles a little when he gets up. Jaehyun moves to help him regain his balance but the teleporter steadies himself and presses a sweaty palm against Jeno’s temple, eyelids fluttering shut in relief.

“Get them,” he utters and Chenle nods, doing a vague motion with his hands and walking out the door quickly.

Mark stumbles again, balancing himself with a hand to his chest and another on the bed.

“You’re an idiot,” Doyoung says, “but thank you.” The younger smiles, eyes rolling back before they focus. Jaehyun helps him stand from where he was hovering next to him, and the boy feels warmer but he figures it’s just because Jeno felt like an icicle.

Blood loss did that to you.

Mark pulls away when they reach the door, an unsubtle sign that he can walk on his own. Jaehyun can see that Taeyong must have had the easiest but also hardest time spending a significant number of days with the young teleporter.

It’s instinct which pulls him to the living room and Taeyong opens his mouth, his lips touching each other to utter the syllable “Ma” but Jaehyun has other worries to clear out, so he doesn’t let him finish.

“Where is Yukhei?”

Jungwoo freezes from where he is dabbing at the tip of Jaemin’s ears with a ball of cotton, pink, quickly turning red from the blood.

Jaehyun, however, isn’t graced with an answer.

“Jungwoo?” It’s Taeyong who calls him out.

Jungwoo sighs, tapping on Jaemin’s hands and presses a fresh ball of cotton into the inside of his palm.

Chenle doesn’t speak a word as he walks soundlessly into the room, grabbing Renjun’s hand and tugging once, making Jaemin follow too as the shorter boy got up.

Renjun’s gaze flicks once to him but it’s barely a fraction of a second and Jaehyun doesn’t get time to school his face to one that is not his resting bitch face. He watches the trio walk out soundlessly in the direction of Jeno.

“He’s out.” Jungwoo looks up and his expression is all closed off.

“Out where?” Jaehyun asks.

Jungwoo shrugs and Jaehyun can see how he’s trying to act like he’s all cool with the idea of Yukhei having teleported off to God knows where with no backup.

“He does this sometimes. He’ll come back. He always does,” the telepath says, eyes shining with hope, and Jaehyun loathes the feeling it brings him because it reminds him of the waiting game he has played the past couple of years.

Taeyong eyes Jaehyun warily, an inaudible “Should we push more or let it be” passed between them.

Jaehyun nods at Jungwoo and rubs a hand over his face probably because he thinks he knows why he can be so sure. Yukhei looked like a boy who would keep his promises no matter the odds.

Or perhaps it was hope in all its twisted and fair ways, the human mind’s incredible tricks to make believe and stay rooted in optimism when all else fails.

Or perhaps it really wasn’t that complicated.

“I’ll go talk to Mark,” Taeyong announces when Jaehyun settles down next to Jisung, the Phaser tensing before relaxing, hands fidgeting in his lap. Jaehyun only gives him a look of encouragement because no matter the comfort and reassurance everyone here was capable of providing, Taeyong is the one who knew Mark longer and that kind of familiarity always counted for something.

Taeyong ducks out of the room with firm steps. Jungwoo’s gaze flicks at him before he sighs, a thin strain of longing audible in it. Taeil places a palm flat on Jungwoo’s thigh and squeezes, a shadow of a smile on his face, his head cradled on the back of the sofa and eyes closed. He only needed to listen after all.

“Jeno hyung’s in pain, isn’t he? That’s why he asked for Chenle? To proof the room?” Jisung asks, when there’s silence spreading in the room.

Jaehyun only sends him a sad smile.

No denial. No confirmation.

Just open for interpretation.

“I hate this, hyung,” the youngest says after what seems like hours.

Jaehyun doesn’t have a definite answer for it. Neither does he know if it warrants a response, if Jisung even needs an answer.

“Don’t we all?” He says anyway, blinking once, twice and then squeezing his eyes shut as he leans back on the couch.

 

***

 

Jaehyun notices that Mark looks worse than he did before as he pours some water for himself, the dim light making the bags under his eyes seem almost black. Jaehyun’s been here for the past hour or so, but he has lost track of time so he isn’t so sure about it.

Taeyong had been pulled away by Doyoung when he tried to talk to Jaehyun and he is glad for the time he got to think and put things in perspective.

Mark looks at him with his eyebrows scrunched together, tinted eyes fixed on him with a question lingering on the surface.

One Jaehyun thinks he recognizes.

“He’ll be fine,” Jaehyun placates, voice rough from disuse.

Mark nods and blinks erratically, a rough breath ripping out of his throat as he bends his neck and stares at the ceiling in an attempt to hold back the tears.

Jaehyun hesitates, but only for a moment. The next thing he knows, he’s got Mark in his arms, the younger boy sobbing silently into his clothed collarbone, his heart breaking a little at the way he feels Mark’s heart thudding against him, chest rattling with every breath.

“I only… I only just got him, hyung… and I feel like shit for wishing he didn’t do it but that means Yukhei wouldn’t be here and I hate it. I’m a bad person.”

Jaehyun shakes his head firmly.

“You just wanted him to be safe. That doesn’t make you a bad person.”

Mark pulls away and wipes his tears, looking at Jaehyun and this time, there’s yet another question in his wide eyes.

“Hyung…” he hesitates, “Yuk… Yukhei?”

Jaehyun feels his throat dry.

“I don’t… I don’t know. He hasn’t contacted Jungwoo yet. He hasn’t picked up any of our calls and when I tried calling him about an hour ago, it was switched off.”

Mark’s face tells him that he might have had a hand in Yukhei’s sudden disappearance. He doesn’t have time to slowly coax it out of the younger so he just decides to ask him directly.

“Mark, did you ask him to leave?”

It’s not meant to sound like an accusation but Jaehyun knows that it sounds exactly like one. Mark looks at him at with guilt written all over his face.

“No!” he shouts, or maybe it’s just the quiet of the night making Jaehyun hear things louder than they’re actually said.

Mark breathes in and out.

“We talked about some stuff,” he pauses, visibly shaken, like he doesn’t want to say this but he does anyway, “We talked about Donghyuck.”

Jaehyun doesn’t ask what the conversation entailed or how it went between the two of them but it makes sense now that he knows what the topic was. He only just nods because Mark looks petrified, tears from before drying on his face and he doesn’t want to mess up things any more than they are already.

Mark hovers around for several moments too long but he might have figured that Jaehyun has nothing more to say because he places the glass down with a troubled look and walks out, leaving Jaehyun alone in the kitchen.

When Taeyong walks in a few minutes later, Jaehyun stays silent but when the elder’s stare still lingers on him, he turns to him attempting a smile.

“Yukhei called Jungwoo.”

Jaehyun feels relief flood in. A question, however, hangs at the tip of his tongue.

“When is he coming back?”

Taeyong smiles.

“In about twenty minutes. He asked if he should get some bulgogi for us.”

Jaehyun can hear the barely held back amusement in his half’s voice and it makes the corners of his lips turn up. He really has to give it to Yukhei. The boy really is an expert in dispelling worries. Jaehyun is not fooled by the obvious diversion but at least now he can rest easy because Yukhei was fine enough to consider the fact that they might be worried.

Taeyong sits down next to him, leaning on him, left cheek snug against Jaehyun’s right bicep.

“Jaehyun, do you think he likes him? Because Mark said some things and I don’t know how this is gonna work out.”

Jaehyun doesn’t answer for a long moment, choosing to just listen to the way the refrigerator hums in the silence of the night.

“Yeah,” he breathes, “He does.”

Taeyong sighs deeply.

“That makes things a lot more complicated, doesn’t it?”

Taeyong straightens up after saying it, linking their fingers together, standing up and tugging him as if he’s needed somewhere else.

“Jeno’s awake.”

Well, that sure is reason enough to leave the silence but something that sounds a little like guilt, no matter how unfounded it is holds him back. Taeyong’s grip is strong, gaze begging.

Just like that, Jaehyun finds his feet moving in a direction he always wanted to go in and has gone before, albeit with hesitation.

Forward.

 _Forward_ , he chants.

 

***

 

Jaemin’s seated next to Jeno, his thumb rubbing over the paler skin of the bedridden boy. Renjun is pointedly staring at nothing, an amateur attempt at staying strong but a façade strong enough to fool someone who hasn’t experienced pain that only comes from having your half denying your connection even if for your own good.

Jaehyun knocks twice on the open door.

Jaemin startles a bit at the sudden interruption. Jaehyun shakes his head when Jeno tries to get up and gestures for him to lie back down.

“How are you feeling?” He asks, the younger boy’s answering smile weary but relieved.

“Alive,” Renjun makes a sound at hearing the word which Jaehyun pointedly avoids, smiling when Jeno follows up with, “and kicking. Or at least getting there.”

“That’s great,” Jaehyun says, for lack of better words to articulate the gratitude he feels at seeing the boy who seemed at the brink of death just hours ago.

Awkwardness pervades the room but Jaehyun would take the sound of quiet breathing over god-awful silence.

“Did you eat something?” Jaehyun directs the question at the three occupants, Taeyong’s piercing gazes telling him the answer.

“We’ll bring you something, okay? You have to eat and recover soon.”

Taeyong walks out the door as soon as Jaehyun says it, a small nod thrown his way. Jaehyun switches his weight to his left leg, time dragging in a good moment for once. It’s weird because he should be going and helping Taeyong to get them food but he needs to stay in this moment for a little more, for his sanity.

Jaemin stares at Renjun, his throat closed up for some reason. Jeno closes his eyes and leans back.

“Hyung, thank you,” the boy mumbles, voice steady.

Jaehyun smiles.

“There’s nothing to thank us for,” he says and means it with all his heart.

“There is,” Renjun interjects.

“You came when no one else dared to. If you hadn’t, we’d be dead by now and that always counts for something,” Jaemin says.

What takes him so off guard is the casual way they say it, the scarily steady undertones to their voices, their acceptance of this is just how things are, all things that Jaehyun practices but never truly found peace in.

They’re kids and it hurts him all the more because this is exactly how Donghyuck thinks too and he can’t bear the fact that they’re thinking about survival when kids their age should be dreaming about college and their future.

Instead, they’re stuck in a dimension of the real world where only the present matters, where they’re living life one day at a time, no chances to look back, no fortune protecting them from the uncertainty of a tomorrow.

Jaehyun has nothing to give to them except for a piece of advice for Jeno because at the end of the day, all they’ll have is each other.

“You should let them in. I promise it’ll help.”

Jeno doesn’t look at him, smiling with his eyes closed as Jaemin leans over and smoothes down his hair, Renjun’s hand on the taller boy’s shoulder.

Jaehyun leaves the room to find Taeyong, crossing his fingers for all of them.

 

***

 

Yukhei lingers at the doorway, hand scratching behind his ear, hair and coat soaking wet from the rain. He saw the rain coming as soon as he teleported right out to the park three miles away. He should have changed his trajectory and planned a little better but all of his senses had been washed away by the impact of Mark’s words.

Jungwoo had said that Donghyuck was still unconscious, and even though Yukhei is still in shock about how Donghyuck stepped in for him like that, he is grateful that they’re all fine, a little beaten but alive. He picks up the bags of food he kept on the floor and doesn’t bother knocking, teleporting straight into the kitchen.

Doyoung stumbles back, taking a moment to gather his bearings and raises a wild eyebrow at Yukhei. Yukhei shrugs with an apologetic smile. Ten places the cup he was washing on the side rack and turns, somehow schooling his expression into something scarily similar to Doyoung’s.

“Rule number 1, Yukhei, you never ever leave a home we’re in without telling us,” Ten says, voice emotionless.

“Where were you?” Doyoung shoots, pointedly glaring at the water he’s trailing into the house.

“I was just…” he trails off.

Yukhei’s mind is capable of crafting a hundred lies, of diverting the topic so subtly that the people on the other end forget why they ever initiated conversation in the first place but he needs this out of his chest and with the way the pair is looking at him, he knows he owes them the truth because underneath all the seething anger is affection and it makes his heart hurt.

“I needed some time,” Yukhei says, fake smile fading as he places the food bags on the counter, shoulders slumping at all that has been going on.

“Then you could have told us and gone out. You could have taken one of us with you. You had other options!” Doyoung screeches, expression wild, face a canvas of pain.

“Hyung…” Yukhei steps closer. Doyoung pushes him away but he urges on and the elder gives in, slumping forward, forehead on his shoulder, tearing up. He briefly wonders if he’d scold him for getting wet but Doyoung doesn’t say anything else.

Yukhei doesn’t know what he did to deserve these people but what he does know is that he’d do anything, anything if it means not hurting them. He utters a breathy apology and Doyoung nods, hugging him tighter and then letting go only to see Ten standing right where he was but his features easing up, anger seeping out just as fast as it came.

Yukhei thinks for a moment that Ten will tackle him in a hug but he sees the elder deciding against it when Jungwoo steps into the room, breathless as if he sprinted down the stairs and straight to the kitchen.

“Xuxi..” he breathes, hair messily framing his face.

Yukhei simply waves at the telepath which makes Ten snort in amusement.

Jungwoo walks closer, wrapping his long arms around Yukhei’s wet torso. Yukhei hugs him and smoothes a hand over the elder’s back.

“I was scared,” Jungwoo whispers, so close to his ears that Yukhei is certain that the pair in the room wouldn’t have heard it.

Yukhei mumbles an apology in his head and the telepath nods against his neck, much like Doyoung did and draws back, running his gaze over him, eyebrows set in a perpetual frown.

“Yukhei, why don’t you go and get changed?” Doyoung asks, his shoulders less tense than they were before.

Yukhei nods, flinching when the affection in the elder’s voice sounds familiar but he can’t quite point a finger at it.

It’s like he’s heard this before, seen this before but in a different world, a different place with a different person and it doesn’t make sense and he feels like he’s losing his mind.

He gestures at Jungwoo that he’s going to his room and walks out, the ache that has been lingering in the back of his head slowly but surely gaining more ground on him. Yukhei stops outside Donghyuck’s and Mark’s room( previously his) but doesn’t think it’s wise to intervene.

Walking away takes much more out of him than he expects, but he does it anyway.

Yukhei changes quickly, the chill feeling like it’s sinking into his cells. When he opens the door and saunters out, one hand towel drying his hair, he freezes at seeing a familiar figure standing staring at a picture of him and Jungwoo together, their faces flushed but grins brighter than the sun.

Yukhei clears his throat, alerting Mark of his presence.

Mark turns back calmly, but his eyes say a different story. He opens his mouth and closes it once like he’s at a loss for words. Yukhei plants his feet firmly on the ground and puts the towel on the chair, quirking an eyebrow at the other when he doesn’t break the silence.

“Cat got your tongue?”

Mark lets out a sigh.

“I’m trying to be civil here and you just have to mess it up, don’t you?”

Yukhei plasters on a grin at the annoyance lining the other’s face.

“So entering someone else’s room without permission and proceeding to not give any explanations by staying silent is being civil? Wow, hyung never taught me that.”

Yukhei folds his arms and leans back on the table. Maybe he should be easing it up a little on Mark but he’s in pain and Mark hasn’t made this any easier for him, so why should he?

“Jeez, do you have to be so fucking irritating….” he pauses, shaking his head and closing his eyes. He inhales and exhales deeply, then starts again but no words come out and it’s only then that Mark’s reason for this seemingly random visit dawns upon him.

“You don’t have to, you know,” Yukhei says, voice softening unintentionally. Mark drags his gaze down from where he had been drilling holes through the roof.

He lets out a bout of pained laughter.

“You don’t even know what I am about to say,” Mark says.

“Believe me, I think I have an idea,” Yukhei replies.

For once, the silence isn’t as deafening, isn’t occupied with his brain overworking to prove a point or to manufacture another witty retort.

Mark looks at him with a hint of surprise. Yukhei shrugs.

They turn when there’s a knock on the half-open door before the door opens fully to reveal Jaehyun and Johnny.

Yukhei sends an apologetic smile in the pair’s direction and Jaehyun responds with a nod but Johnny remains unresponsive until his gaze lands on Mark.

“Oh, didn’t think you’d be here but that makes things easier,” Johnny says.

“Is something wrong?” Yukhei asks, immediately on guard.

Jaehyun shakes his head, hesitates and then speaks anyway, “We talked to Jeno and the others. They have some important files which they sneaked from a HOAX facility at their safehouse but it seems that HOAX has been patrolling the area and we need to get them back.”

Yukhei nods and gestures for them to go on. He has no clue how Jeno and the gang got possession of such classified files but he knows that nothing good will happen if they recover those files.

“Jeno has a plan and we thought we’d ask you guys to join too before we discussed further.”

Yukhei glances at Mark who shakes in affirmation. The elder pair head in the direction of Jeno’s room.

“He okay?” Yukhei asks.

“Who? Jeno?”

Yukhei hums as he shrugs on a plaid shirt above his t-shirt.

“Yeah. I healed him. He’ll need more time to recover but he has his Halves by his side. He’ll be okay.”

Mark answers, proceeding to walk in the same direction as Johnny and Jaehyun.

“Mark,” Yukhei calls and the other man freezes, “you okay?”

Healing must not have been a ride in the park for the teleporter and Yukhei has never shied away from making sure the people around him are alright.

“Yeah,” Mark answers, belatedly.

Yukhei doesn’t ask why he’s lying.

 

***

 

“So it’s in your room?”

Jaemin takes a while to nod.

“You have to be more specific than that, Jaemin.”

Renjun leans over and whispers something in Jaemin’s ears and the boy visibly relaxes.

Yukhei doesn’t understand what the magical words are but he doesn’t have to figure it out on his own because Jeno lays it out in front of them.

“Once you take those away, there’s nothing there for us. I thought we were done running,” his gaze strays to both his Halves and Chenle who is watching the conversation with an expressionless face. Jisung is doing the same, seated right next to Chenle, their fingers looped tightly.

“We’re sorry, Jeno but you said we had to get it back. So do you want us to or not?”

Johnny asks, always so aware of reality first before everything.

“I know what I said, hyung.”

Renjun speaks up next. “There’s no point in holding on to a place we know we can’t return to. The files are in a case. There’s an opening in the wall behind the headboard. You’ll know if you look closely.”

Renjun looks over at Chenle and there’s a silent conversation between the two before the younger walks over and hands Yukhei a bunch of keys.

Yukhei looks at the boy strangely but Chenle cracks a smile at him for the first time since he’s entered the room.

“You can’t go, hyung. Neither can you,” Jaemin speaks up suddenly, eyes unfocused on the ground before he shakes the haziness away, looking at Jaehyun and Johnny.

Johnny looks a little lost, needing more explanation than the measly two sentences Jaemin has uttered.

“Why not?” He asks.

Yukhei thumbs the head of a particularly big key and waits.

“Because they know you, all of you and because there’s an order to chaos. Even Loopers have a limit to what they can change without affecting too much of a timeline, hyung,” Jaemin replies, solemn.

“What are you saying?” Jaehyun asks, clearly concerned and not liking the vibe the conversation is giving him.

Yukhei’s hair stands up when Renjun directs his gaze at him and Mark.

“They have to go. Together.”

Johnny laughs.

“This is a joke, right? We’re not sending them there.”

Jaehyun agrees with a nod, a clear rejection of the proposed plan and the panic is so visible on their faces that Yukhei chances a glance at Mark who actually seems to consider what he’s hearing.

“Mark, come on, you can’t be considering it,” Jaehyun says, clearly making the same observation as Yukhei.

“They have to go, Jaehyun.”

Yukhei flinches at Taeil’s sombre voice and turns to see the man hovering outside the doorway.

Johnny shakes his head.

“You can deny all you want but there are things that you can’t stop and this is one of them, Johnny. Let them go. See it this way. They’re teleporters, Mark can heal too, what’s the worst that can happen?”

Taeil directs a subtle nod at Jaemin and Renjun. However, it doesn’t skip Yukhei’s notice.

A Listener and two Loopers arriving at the same conclusion. That makes more sense than the entire conversation they’ve had today, Yukhei thinks.

Johnny still doesn’t look too convinced but he takes a deep breath and turns to Mark and him. The defeat is drawn clear on his voice but he must trust Taeil a lot because he wasn’t even sparing the plan a thought before and now he actually looks like he’s considering it, no matter how against the plan he is.

“Get the files and come back as fast as you can. Whatever happens, you run right back. Don’t look back. Don’t linger. Just get here asap, understood?”

Yukhei nods, catching Mark’s nod in his peripheral vision.

“So when are we going?” Mark asks, stealing the words right out of Yukhei’s mouth.

“Tomorrow night,” Jeno says, wincing a little when he tries to straighten up, the barely audible sound giving Yukhei all the impetus he needs to remind himself why he’s doing what he’s doing.

 

***

 

Yukhei and Mark saunter into the room, both of them stilling at seeing Donghyuck trying to sit up. The boy stares at them for a second before his lips curve up in a smile.

“Sparkles,” Yukhei breathes as Mark rushes to Donghyuck.

Mark cups Donghyuck’s cheeks. “How are you feeling?”

The other teleporter must sense Yukhei’s gaze on his hands because he puts his hands down but the damage is already done even if Yukhei has no right to think that way.

Donghyuck gives him a thumbs up but Yukhei can see that he’s clearly not as fine as he’s pretending to be.

Yukhei hands him a glass of water and the psychometric drinks it.

 _“Is everyone alright?”_ He signs at Yukhei.

Yukhei feels Mark’s gaze settle on the side of his face so he talks instead of signing, “They’re fine. Jeno’s a little beaten up but he’s gonna be okay. Mark healed him.”

Donghyuck smiles again, his hands searching for Mark’s unknowingly. The ground Yukhei stands on shakes a little.

Mark throws him an apologetic look for some reason but Yukhei only shrugs in an act of nonchalance even though that single look means so much more to him.

“You guys, uh... carry on. I’ll just go… go get the hyungs,” Yukhei says and hates himself for stuttering because damn it, this isn’t the way he wanted things to go and it’s all turning out to be a complete disaster right in front of his eyes.

Yukhei wants to ask Donghyuck why he stepped in for him like he did but he doesn’t want to poke and prod at the younger boy just moments after he woke up. Instead, he walks out, calls for the hyungs and retreats to Jungwoo’s room.

Yukhei’s stomach grumbles loudly but even the thought of the food on the counter doesn’t serve as reason enough for him to get up. So he finds himself being quickly coaxed to sleep. When he’s barely holding onto the last string of consciousness, he hears the voice again, the same one that has been plaguing his head for months.

_Sleep, Xuxi._

This time he’s certain it isn’t Jungwoo.

 

***

 

Yukhei hears a soft voice calling his name and for a moment, he thinks it’s just his head making up things but then he feels the lights come on. He squints to see Doyoung standing at the doorway, eyes tired but a small smile on his face.

“Hyung, is something wrong?” Yukhei asks and the man steps inside, leaving the door open, his head shaking in a negative.

 “Oh. If nothing’s wrong then, wha..?” Yukhei asks only to hear intense whispering coming from the corridor outside his room.

Ten pulls Mark by his hoodie sleeve to the room and closes the door with his foot. Mark has a scowl on his face, one eye half open and the other closes. He yawns and rubs at his eyes with his hands.

“Mark, go sit down,” Ten says, stern and the teleporter walks to Yukhei’s bed, hovering next to it before Yukhei moves a little, allowing the other boy to sit down.

“Where’s Jungwoo hyung?”

Doyoung and Ten plop down on the couch next to the bed. “He fell asleep in our room,” Ten answers.

“What’s happening? Is someone dying? The world’s ending? HOAX went up in smoke?”

Yukhei asks, suddenly wide awake at the pair’s unresponsiveness.

“Hyung, seriously, this couldn’t have waited till morning?”

Mark asks, completely ignoring Yukhei.

“It’s 3:17, so technically it _is_ morning and no Yukhei, the world isn’t ending,” Ten says, eyeing Doyoung and letting him take over, “But what _is_ happening is that you’re being idiots.”

Yukhei turns to Mark and raises an eyebrow. Mark doesn’t respond.

“Hyung, whatever you’re trying to say, can we please get this over with?”

Doyoung sighs.

“This… this thing you’ve got going on in which one moment you’re friends, the next you don’t give a shit… this attitude isn’t gonna work out. You’re going out tomorrow, well… today and you need to take care of each other and not bite each other’s throats off while you’re at it.”

Ten smiles from the side and continues, “What he’s trying to say is don’t die today just because you guys have some sort of civil war going on. We need you boys back in one piece, clear?”

“Crystal,” Yukhei answers, taking a second to process the fact that Mark had said the same thing.

“All this brouhaha over who gets who, this will all seem stupid when our lives are on the line, okay? And we need you to understand that. We’re scared shitless to send you guys alone but there’s no other way and that’s why we need you to work together like you did yesterday. The things that happened after that, none of it matters today.”

Yukhei knows he saved Mark multiple times yesterday. He had put himself in the line of fire but Mark had helped him too. It, however, does surprise him that Ten and Doyoung had noticed all of that. The telekinetic pair’s attention to detail and their extensive observational skills must give him the creeps but it doesn’t, mostly because he knows it comes from being accustomed to looking out for all of them, no matter if it was three or thirty people.

Even if Yukhei and Mark clearly have things to talk about, Yukhei shocks himself with how certain he is that he wouldn’t hesitate to go down for Mark if it came to it. A part of him likes to think that maybe Mark would too and that is all the assurance he needs to go out tonight.

“We’re sorry for waking you up but this had to be said, alright?”

Yukhei and Mark nod in unison.

The pair gets up from the couch just as Mark mumbles out a goodnight, clearly experiencing a mood shift after the conversation, the gravity of the situation dawning. He walks out without so much as a wave not that Yukhei expects it.

Doyoung and Ten follow but both of them stop at the doorway in sync, Ten turning and hesitating to articulate something he wants to.

Yukhei has a clue as to what it is.

“Donghyuck… he needs him back, Yukhei. We’re sorry to ask this of you but you understand, right?”

Of course, he does. Of course.

“I hope it doesn’t come down to it, hyung but if it does, then you can trust me. I’ll make sure he’s okay…. but will you… will you… Jungwoo hyung..”

There’s no need of words at this point, at what Yukhei is so obviously hinting at so he only watches the telekinetic pair for a response.

They nod firmly.

A promise.

It’s all Yukhei needs even though suddenly he’s a little hollow but that’s fine. He’ll make sure everything is fine.

 

***

 

Yukhei gets into the car, Mark already in the passenger seat. Yukhei is glad that Mark didn’t insist on driving because he wants this wheel for some semblance of control. He’s putting the key in the ignition when Jaehyun knocks on the window. Yukhei lowers the window.

“Remember, stop three blocks away, park in the alley and…”

“… walk till the bakery before taking a turn into another alley and then make sure no one is around. We know, hyung. It’ll be okay, I promise,” Yukhei insists, plastering on what he hopes is a calming smile on his face.

“We got this, hyung,” Mark reassures. Johnny and Taeyong nod from behind Jaehyun.

He starts the car and drives away, eyes set on the rearview mirror, glad that Jungwoo and Donghyuck weren’t standing outside to send them off. They could have just teleported but Doyoung and Ten had warned him that Mark was still weak from healing Jeno. The fact that Donghyuck was still recovering also meant that Mark was at a huge disadvantage.

Yukhei thinks that he can still feel a little bit of heat from when Donghyuck hugged him tightly. He hopes the warmth stays with him.

“Is Jungwoo hyung your real brother?”

Mark asks, about ten minutes into the drive. Yukhei can’t figure out if it’s an attempt at making small talk or if he legit wants to know but he answers anyway.

“He might as well be but no, he’s not.”

Mark’s mouth forms a small “o” before he closes it.

“How’d you meet him?”

Yukhei grips the wheel a bit tighter but takes a while to find an answer.

“He says I saved him from some thugs but I don’t really remember.”

Yukhei hopes Mark doesn’t prod further.

“How can you not remember stuff like that? You guys literally live in the same house.”

Yukhei feels annoyance grate on his nerves but it isn’t Mark’s fault that his head doesn’t work like he wants it to.

“It’s because I really can’t. There are some pretty major lapses in my memory,” Yukhei tacks on a laugh to smoothen the reveal but Mark turns to him with a solemn expression, searching his face for something like he’s hoping it is a joke.

“You’re not joking,” Mark states, incredulous tone clear in his voice.

“10 points to Gryffindor,” Yukhei bellows.

They don’t talk for the next hour and a half. Yukhei kind of regrets telling him the truth.

 

***

 

For what it’s worth, Mark keeps trying to keep talking like he did before but the pettiness doesn’t show as much and it’s like a single line has somehow altered the way he views Yukhei and he’s not sure if he likes it. But hiding in an alley and craning their heads to see if anyone will see them teleport is really not the time to worry about stuff like this, so Yukhei only nods at Mark and takes his hand in his, arriving smack dab in the middle of a living room or what’s left of it.

Mark wades through the broken wood splinters and shattered glass to get to the picture frame that lies upside down on the ground. He turns it over and Yukhei waits a single moment for him to say something but he doesn’t, choosing to simply take out the picture and shove it inside his jacket.

Yukhei doesn’t understand the boy’s obsession with photos but he doesn’t say anything, making a beeline for the bedroom.

Getting the files is a fairly easy task even if it required some brute force to pull the headboard but having Mark there definitely helped. Yukhei snaps the photos of the file, not paying attention to anything inside as Mark does the same with another set, sending them to Jaehyun and Johnny’s phones in real time.

It takes roughly about ten minutes before the tight silence breaks when there’s yelling and shots being fired, an all-around commotion audible through the thick walls of the rundown house. Mark flinches at every shot but keeps snapping photos as fast as he can. Yukhei tries to but his hands shake but he pulls himself back together because they’re both scared and if Mark can keep doing what they were sent to do, Yukhei should be able to do it as well.

“I’m done,” Yukhei says a few minutes later, the voices growing louder. Mark nods, fumbling with his phone once before he falls right back into the rhythm.

They’re supposed to burn the files as soon as they’re done and get out. Escape is just a few minutes away, and Yukhei roots for Mark to finish within the time window they have.

But sadly, things never seem to go their way.

There’s a loud shout of “hyung!” outside, the person’s voice splintering in an attempt to call out to someone. Mark flinches at the scream but even as his hands tremble, he finishes sending the photos. Yukhei searches his pocket for the lighter and sets the papers on fire.

There is another scream and more shooting. Mark goes to the window and moves the curtain a little, Yukhei standing behind him to peek outside through the gap.

There are a bunch of HOAX soldiers, Yukhei counts seven, all armed and there’s a boy, probably their age or younger, being held up by two of the guards, screaming for his hyung over and over again. The other guards are looking for someone, sneaking around quietly with their guns held close to their chests. They’re looking for the brother, Yukhei realizes.

Mark throws him a look. Yukhei hesitates. Mark moves the curtain again.

They shouldn’t. They really shouldn’t. But had Taeil and Johnny thought the same thing years before, he wouldn’t have been here to even contemplate this decision.

“Don’t die,” Yukhei says and doesn’t wait for long, teleporting straight into pandemonium.

Mark follows him close behind. Yukhei grabs at the gun from the closest HOAX soldier he lands next to and shoots straight into his chest, Mark mirroring his actions on the other side. The soldiers holding the boy let him go and comes sprinting at them.

“RUN!” Mark yells at the boy who stares at him for a moment before he takes off.

Clearly, they had underestimated the number of soldiers because just when they’re done shooting the ones present, Yukhei turns to Mark to see more soldiers running from the alleys. He curses under his breath.

Yukhei backs himself up until his back hits Mark’s.

“On three,” he whispers, feeling Mark’s nod against the back of his neck.

The soldiers don’t wait for three, shooting straight at them as soon as they lay their eyes on them. Mark curses this time and starts shooting immediately. Yukhei realizes his gun is empty and teleports to the closest dead soldier and takes his gun, emptying the bullets at all incoming threats.

A bullet hits him in his shin and Yukhei yelps loudly, but turns back and uses his gun to hit the soldier on the head. The pain makes him see stars but he uses the gun and his hands to the best of his ability.

Yukhei’s done with his side when he notices a soldier sneaking up on Mark and suddenly, all the pain becomes secondary as he teleports behind Mark and shoots the soldier down. Yukhei turns back to come face to face with another soldier and before he can aim the gun at him, there’s already a knife slicing its way inside his stomach. He fires just as Mark fires the soldier from behind with a guttural scream of Yukhei’s name.

Yukhei stumbles back, his palm pressing firmly on his stomach, the gun dropping from his hand, his shin and stomach on fire and bleeding profusely.

Mark shoots at the two guards left and runs to Yukhei.

“Fuck! Fuck Yukhei! Why did you do that?”

Yukhei laughs a little even if it hurts, iron in his mouth.

“I don’t want you to die, you dick.”

Doyoung and Ten were right in calling them idiots because in the time it takes for Mark to take off his shirt, presumably to wrap it around Yukhei’s waist, he sees a pair of soldiers running at them. Yukhei doesn’t think and just teleports, his bloody hand wrapping around Mark’s wrist, blacking out when his body hits the ground but not before he sees Mark slumping forward, the other teleporter pulling himself back up to crawl closer to him.

**Author's Note:**

> I love you for reading. Comments fill my soul with eternal summer and kudos keep me warm. Let me know what you think or hit me up on my [cc](https://curiouscat.me/Crimsun) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/_Crimsun_)


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